Thursday, June 30, 2011

A NEW type of PAIN

As a young child, going to the dentist is something that did NOT happen. We lived in the country, money was hard to come by and visiting the dentist was on the low list of important things to do. I did not see a dentist until in my early teens and a cavity had finally demanded to be taken care of. It was not fun, but the tooth was fixed and finally as I reached my early twenties, the adult person in me understood the need for taking care of my teeth. Both of my parents lost all their teeth and had to wear dentures. It was hard to see that and my mind was determined to not allow that to happen to me.

So many years later, I find myself back at the dentist office, and the news is NOT good. My teeth are needing major attention because years of grinding them down to almost nothing had brought me a brand new set of major problems. Trust me when I say that I have complained all the way through this process and today...well, today was the BIG day in which my dentist began FOUR of the EIGHT crowns that must be done in order to save my upper teeth. 

I was blessed to find a wonderful, caring, compassionate dentist who also has an amazing sense of humor and yet is very respectful of the Chronic Pain I deal with and knows that any additional Pain he adds to my plate will make life more challenging and difficult for me. He did warn me the pain after the procedure would be ROUGH!

Guess what! He was RIGHT! Oh, my goodness, this has hurt beyond anything I could have dreamed about. Sometimes we try to predict what our Pain will feel like but there is no way to do that. You simply have to wait and let it arrive. My husband has been NURSE WONDER today and taken great care of me but we both have realized this is something that has to run its course before I can feel human again.

I also got through this day by the power of many, many PRAYERS being said for me. People who know me promised to pray and I did feel those prayers as I sat in the chair and got through this rough siege of dental work. Now I must heal, go back in a few weeks and get permanent crowns put on, then heal again and go back for another round of FOUR more crowns on other upper teeth. One thing is for sure, I will never NEGLECT my teeth again ever, and something tells me this will remind me to try cutting down on GRINDING my teeth when stressed.

A dear Sister/Friend knocked at our door today right after I got home and brought me a lovely bouquet of flowers that she had picked at a local grower in our area! That moment was my JOY for this hard day, and they will continue to be a reminder of her caring love and will help me smile more each day.

Motto for the day: PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH.  Keep smiling and say one prayer for me as I promise to say one for you. Never give up the battle of PAIN. Never.  It's worth the fight, no matter what.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Pain has a its own Mind about everything

It's been a while since I have felt like blogging. That's because PAIN seems to have taken over lately and driven me to concentrate HARD on the battle. It's one thing to deal daily with Chronic do learn the system and follow the RULES that PAIN has. Coping with Pain is a 24-hours-a-day job, and it seems you never get a break of any sort. Instead, you must make your OWN ways of being able to still enjoy doing even the most simple things.

As the years have gone by in my journey of fighting this Pain, so many things that I once really enjoyed doing have demanded that I give them up so that my Pain is not increased due to me mowing the yard, working hard outside on flower beds, or climbing a ladder and painting. Yes, as I even typed the word LADDER, my own sense of reasoning can NOW stop and think, "Now what the heck am I doing climbing up a ladder after having already fallen out of a tree?" Stupid on my part but ladders and painting were things I enjoyed doing, too. So I gave the ladder up but still had this silly idea that standing in a chair would do no harm. At least I could still do some version of painting but stay away from pesky ladders. My dear husband finally brought the CHAIR issue to light and challenged my reasoning process as to how I could validate my ability to STAND in a chair and NOT think there would be any chance at all of taking a fall. He further reminded me that IF I were to fall from a CHAIR, and God forbid, break a HIP, my only NEW chair would be a wheelchair because my body will not allow for a hip replacement and would reject the implant with me very possibly becoming seriously ill if this were to ever happen.

I got MAD at him, the damn chair, the TREE, ME for climbing the tree–and most of all–I got MAD at the PAIN. This Pain that seems to have robbed me of so MANY things I enjoyed doing. Now here I faced the honest HARD truth of having to either be brutally honest with myself  and let the chair go to or simply keep playing a Cat and Mouse game or sorts, just hoping I would BEAT the odds and never fall out of a chair.

As my loving husband stood there and faced me with this hard truth, beyond his frustration I saw this amazing DEEP LOVE for me and his FEARS of what might happen if I did not give up standing in a chair. Sometimes we MUST really challenge the ones we love the MOST with the sobering reality of life as it REALLY is now. For me, that means the CHAIR now had to be added as a MUST NOT DO ITEM for Martha! 

Yes, I pouted for a while, and yet while being angry, started to COUNT my blessings instead of sitting here and only looking at the NEGATIVES. It did not take me long to realize how silly I was being about items or things that I once considered so important in my life. God has blessed me with the BEST gift of all: my dear husband who had the fortitude to finally take the bull by the horns, as they say, and put the issue squarely in my line of view. He did NOT make the decision for me, but instead I acted like the adult and made it for MYSELF. So although the past couple of weeks have been pretty rough emotionally, there is truly a joyful light at the end of the tunnel. I can still walk, and yes, I can STILL battle against the Chronic Pain that will always be a challenge in my daily life. My joy moment came after having stood by my husband as we painted on a wall of our house together and to turn toward each other and say almost in unison,"I really don't LIKE to do this anymore!"

Please keep me in your prayers because I am preparing to face some TOUGH dental work that is NOT going to be easy. I thank you for the prayers and know you are ALL in my daily prayers, too.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Trigger Point Injections, up close and personal

Recently, my wonderful Pain Management doctor told me about how easily I tend to "walk the line" when it comes to being given medication for my injections and that encouraged me to be BRAVE enough to have the injections without heavier medicines. Well, I did it! As they say, guess I grew up, sort of, and faced these injections head on. Of course, I did ask my doctor for a HUG to let her know my fears were right there at the surface and waiting to send me running out of her office!

She assured me that I could do it. Obviously, my doctor knew me much better than I did. I said a deep Prayer and forged ahead. There was a lot of deep relaxing breathing on my part and a true, gentle, caring touch of my doctor. She respected my fears and helped me through this. If anyone would have told me I could do this, well, I would never have believed it possible. But as we reach down deep inside ourselves and pull out that extra bit of inner strength, it's quite amazing what we can manage to walk through to get Pain relief! 

There will still be times in the future when I will need more in-depth injections, and I know my doctor will handle that in the manner needed. I am truly blessed and know this is not always the case, to have such a wonderful doctor. Please keep fighting this PAIN battle and do not allow it any further power. 

After all, once I get over the soreness of these injections, I have some walking to start because somewhere out there, I am dreaming of a DANCE with my dear husband, twirling me around the floor! It's my dream that might take a LONG time to reach, but one step at a time will slowly help me to get there. 

Keep looking for a second of JOY in your own daily journey with PAIN and treasure those seconds.  This is my continued prayer for all who are Dancing with Pain.