Wednesday, October 31, 2012

A Time to Pray for Those in Need~~~

It came flying in-wind, rain, snow, water that didn't stop~~~wreaking destruction to thousands across our country-as they must face the loss of homes burned to the ground, or wiped off its flooring from destructive waters.  We watch the news~~shaking our heads at the pictures of states that once bloomed and now give
the appearance of nothing more than a pile of rubble.  

There is a piece of the Key to recovery~~~no matter how bad a home might look-a lifetime of memories washed away by the mighty force of Mother Nature, people still have the courage to dream of starting over. The initial efforts might start with moving massive trees that once offered glorious shade for children to play under-or a picnic lunch shared with loved ones.  

God knows the inner resolve of all and HE is there to help give a gentle push toward the baby steps of starting life over again.  One of the most poignant moments was to see tiny premature babies being carried down a dark stairway of a hospital, as staff held flashlights and others held needed equipment as nurses 
worked the breathing bag, pumping steady air into these precious children-fighting to live.

We were seeing Life at its most tender moments as a Nurse held a baby in her arms, sitting on a stretcher and doing everything she could to nurture these little ones with Love.

Our country is filled with people who face disaster, grieve for their losses and slowly begin the task of living again.  On this night, PLEASE take a moment out and offer a prayer for all who have been hit so hard
by Hurricane Sandy.  Our prayers will be heard.......

May God be with all those who have suffered from this tragedy.


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Walking with Courage & Faith~~~

In our small church, there is a side door~~ we all know what its used for, people who use a walker, need to be in a wheelchair~~ to me its the best door of the entire church!  It takes a lot of courage to walk through that door~~every head turns when it opens-as if we are all waiting to see who will come through and it also gives everyone a chance to see how the person is handling their physical problems.  I have walked through
the door many times over the years-usually by the use of a walker, once as I needed to be on crutches (just a word of advice~Never try to put up a wallpaper border in your bathroom and take one foot to stand on top of the toilet, the other foot stretched too far and standing on the tub faucets!  Its a recipe for disaster.)

Today I sat in silent prayers-feeling my Pain starting to rumble back again~~suddenly the door opened and a man came in.  He wasn't taking a easy stroll through the door~~instead his hand gripped crutches that supported his body-it was clear to see the braces on his legs and I knew~~this man had faced tons of Pain and was carrying it all with him~~not worried about others seeing his disability, all he wanted to do was come to church.

His face was almost stone-like, but once he settled in the pew, and his head bent in prayer-I could see his
body begin to relax and slowly a smile came on his face.  He probably had to work very hard to manage that smile~~ My eyes stayed fixed on him~~I wanted to learn more from this gentle man who struggled to find his way to God's house today.  He has a story-how his body came to be so riddled with Pain and I knew it was better that I not push-I think God wanted me to simply watch and learn today.

When services ended~~ I paused to see him rising, struggling to get the crutches in place before he dared take a step~~all I had to do was place my trusty cane in front of me and walk on.  A vast difference between us~~ and yet we both hold a common bond~~ Chronic Pain.

Walking with Chronic Pain takes a ton of courage and faith~all we can do is take it one day at a time.

God bless you and I pray for all who suffer with pain.  martha

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Time to let Matt talk about Pain~~

                                                                    Matt's words~~~

I decided to take a leap of Faith-asking my husband to be totally honest as he shared some of his feelings about Living with Me & Pain.  He was hesitant at first-asking me if there might be a "Wrong Answer"-I asked him to speak from his heart, and let the words flow.  He is my  "Silent Partner" who isn't able to fully express frustration, anger, sadness~~instead He stands strong beside me, doing his best to help. I can't express all that Matt does for me~~ So  I say this-He is my Rock!

Matt's heart talks about Pain~~~~

A Good Day for us is when I see no outward Sign of her Pain-it gives us a brief moment to feel normal again.

Chronic Pain gives me nothing I can take a Swing at!  Her Pain is like a Snake-slithering around as it  covers her with Pain.  

On the Bad days of Pain, I know to stay silent-its clear to see her Defense Mood is up-the Pain is so bad and she wants nobody to touch her.  I watch from the sidelines~feeling helpless as Pain marches on. 

Chronic Pain has taken a lot of her True Kindness away-but then I look at her and can still see this 
soft sweet Woman with such a tender heart- I want to protect her from this battle.  She has lost so 
much of her life but keeps Fighting and I know she will never give up.

Thirty-seven years ago, I took a vow before God-to honor this wonderful woman, and I will be with her~~in sickness and in health.  The day might come when She is on this side of the Bed, helping me.

I pray a lot for Martha~~~actually I pray all the time for her.  She is the other half of me and I would
be lost without her.  I thank God for her and will love her forever, regardless of Pain.

Thank you Matt~for these words that come from the heart!  You are the love of my life.

God be with all Spouses who are walking the path of illness with a loved one.


Monday, October 22, 2012

Living with Pain is Hard~~but not impossible!

This one comes hard-my thoughts swirl as I try to "ease the sound of my words"-as I explain what Pain means to me each day as I get up from sleep, waking to the Constant Burning Feeling in my Leg that Never Leaves!  I look in the mirror~~see the growing signs of Pain and rapidly turn away, because I can't erase Sixteen years of Chronic Pain!

 Living with Chronic Pain has become a process of continual acceptance~~ things that once came easy to me-putting a plant in the ground- now brings extra Pain as I kick dirt around and realize this was not a good idea.  I turn to see my husband, garden tools in hand~~rushing to help me, all I want to do is throw the stupid plant high into the air and call it a day.  I took a look at the plants-thinking "you don't stand a chance-so get in the ground, now!"

Gradually I manage to get three plants in the ground and feel Pride rising inside~ knowing I didn't give up~as I limp back to my chair on our porch and force my eyes to look past the Pain-so I can take in this beautiful place we call home!  Its a tiny Victory~~but I am learning each day to appreciate these times and store them in my heart!  

This is my life-Pain is here with me and it will always be a hard process~~there will be many ups and downs
as I fight this wicked enemy-but its not impossible to still find joy and laughter in the simple moments of life.

Each person who battles Chronic Pain has to walk their own path-finding ways to cope with this life-altering
Pain.  Please keep trying-I am praying hard for you!  Pray for me too!


Sunday, October 21, 2012

A Silent Moment of Sharing Pain~~~

Have you ever found Pain silently sitting near you?  We have probably all had an encounter with Pain~~its obvious-as you try to reason out the movements of someone who is suffering~  Pain is roaring in the body~~ you look at it, trying to shake the image from your eyes, whispering a silent prayer of Thanks that you are not the one who is suffering- yet Pain stands firm as you silently observe its victim.

I now find myself a member of the "Need a Cane Group" who attends our local church.  My husband has begged me for a long time to use my Cane-just keep it with me~~in case I were to fall. Each person has the same slow, cautious walk-no longer afraid to hide their fear of falling~~ some have already faced the horror of a Broken Hip and the long, painful recovery that follows~~they have cast Vanity out the Door and are proud of their Cane.

Yesterday I sat at church, my trusty Cane sitting by the Church Songbooks~having said my prayers, I
watched as people filled the pews, some I knew-others are new faces we are seeing as our church is
rapidly growing, and yet among all these faces~~~ Pain was there, silently following those who slowly made their way inside.

A dear friend sat in front of me~~in deep prayer, when his own physical Pain showed up!  I wanted to swat the Pain away as he rubbed his aching back-each movement being a reminder of the Pain that follows me.  My heart ached~~I was so close to him, wishing to ease his suffering~~a deep feeling of helplessness washed over me as we sat in Silence, Pain slowly moving back and forth between us!

As we knelt in prayer- it felt like a lightening bolt hit me~~suddenly I knew there was a way to help push  Pain aside for a few moments. My heart eased as it dawned on me "Gee Martha-why not talk to God right where you are~HE is listening and will hear your prayers!"

My prayers came easy, and when it was time for all of us to stand, my friend turned~~ we stood smiling  in silence~~our eyes did all the talking, words were not needed in this precious moment.  You never know when a chance might come your way to silently help ease the suffering of another~one Silent Prayer is heard loud and clear by the Good Man Above!

Please know you are in my prayers this day.  May God be with you always.


Saturday, October 20, 2012

Could I ever change this Pain?

Well this is a big diving off point to start at~~ Pain is a force like non other and it does Not like changes that might diminish the daily havoc wreaked on a person's body, mind, and soul.  I have seen suffering up close~~ its not a pretty thing to see.  Nothing about Pain is glamorous or exciting~ the tiny victories I gain do not give me time to shout  Good News out among friends- by the time I would start buzzing computer lines with my news, Pain comes roaring  back to my ravaged leg~~pulling, burning, tingling, numb to the bone-all physical issues I must face daily.  

After so many long years with Pain beside me~ I am slowly learning the importance of that word Change,
and I am hit with an awareness  I might have the "Change Pain Thought" going in the wrong direction.  Nothing will change the Sciatic Nerve in my leg that was crushed from the Tree fall, long years of a Nerve
wrapped with Scar Tissue that is firmly planted~~seeming to dare any surgeon who struggled to remove a mass of Scar Tissue looking like a crazy mess of Super Glue!

 Change must come from me~~~ Not an easy challenge-we stumble each day as we try to find our way in this journey with Chronic Pain.  Some might say my options are limited~ I do not agree~~ In my darkest hours of walking the floor with Pain, calling for His helping hand, there is a moment of Change!  I chose to look past the wicked Pain and lean on Faith.

It would be wonderful to say  Pain changes in a second~~ but a gradual change comes~~
 it is gentle, silent~~and I find peace to reach for sleep.  Nothing is perfect~~ but if I  work
with the Pain~~ not Against it~~ I know beyond any doubt I can cope, come rain or shine.  There are moments when I glance up and see my motto-as a sudden urge hits me to give these words a thrashing,
but I stop because God's love is written in these simple words~~

                                            ~~~~~~~Pain Won't Beat Me~~~~~~~

I keep going, taking it one day at a time and think of others who are suffering~ my prayers are with you.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

My Husband's words~~~~

Dancing-Before the Tree Fall

Matt would look at this photo and pause~~ recalling the joy we felt when dancing together!  He always said he had Two left feet but not true, I just had to learn how to let Him lead when dancing instead of me wanting to take us all over the dance floor.

He would smile and say "Well look at us, shaking a leg~~ man we were young and having a blast!"  
A moment of silence follows~~~~  we both love this photo-but know our dancing days are long gone-Pain is my dancing Partner now and it Drags me to Hell and back on a daily basis.  

Two days ago a very stubborn Martha decided to help Dear Husband do some painting on our last stretch of fence that begged for a fresh coat of paint.  We debated for a week about me helping~~ I had it all planned out-"Let me paint the Top rail-thats all I want to do, just let me try that!"  He would argue back-telling me the outcome would not be a good one.  I could see his eyes, a silent prayer being whispered in his heart "Dear God, please help my stubborn Wife get the message-don't let her do this!"  

He also knew a fact I chose to ignore~~ This stretch of Fencing  runs about 600 feet in length-nothing easy about this Painting Job, but here we stood~~~ Matt already painting~~seeming to move in a panic, offering excuses as to the Roller being too dry-not enough paint left, everything possible being said by him~~~ except the words to tell me "You will hurt from this- just Go back to the House!"

I managed to last about an hour~~the rest of the day went by with me slouched in my chair, dozing from exhaustion and aching like crazy! I sensed frustration in my husband~~as he turned to me and the words started flowing, hard ~~ "You don't understand what its like on my side of this-I can't stand to see you suffering and now you did something that will make everything worse!"

He was right-his words stung with Truth and it hit me that I don't like thinking what life is like "On his Side" as he sees me dragging around from being up all night as I fight Pain,begging for it to ease- the list goes on.  His words were silent now~~ I reached for him and said "I am so sorry!"  

I want my heart to be open for his words~~~ I know they are filled with Love.

God be with all who suffer the trials of Pain, may you find the courage to let go and reach for HIS hand.


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

What would my life be without Pain?

My Wish List comes tumbling out~~ "I want a Leg that isn't Numb,  a butt that doesn't burn like Hot Charcoal on a barbeque pit, a Foot that doesn't feel like its been to the Dentist office, I want the sensation of my Leg feeling like its tangled forever in the grip of a Massive Rubber Band to go away and Never Come back Again!"  

Pain pulled me from sleep at 3:30am~~ I walked quietly around the bed, being careful to not disturb my husband who sleeps Peacefully~~ and it hits me "I forgot to add Sleep to my list."  Time to make a hot cup of Tea, turn on the Heating Pad and face the day~~as I look up from my desk and see my fighting words~  Pain Won't Beat Me..........

I pray for all who suffer with Chronic Pain....Martha

Friday, October 12, 2012

Why does Pain Relief have to turn so Bad?

I will dive right in and hit the issue we are all hearing on the news lately~~ Tainted Steroid Injections given to countless people who are desperate for Pain Relief, suddenly becoming ill with a life-threatening illness!  It is news that enrages all who deal with daily non-stop Pain and now many have already died needlessly.  What can anybody say to a family who lost their loved one in this careless manner?  Sorry we didn't do enough quality check control-oh and we probably didn't alert the many doctors using our drug as to the potential danger laying in wait?

Last week was my time for injections again and when I heard this news, my gut did a major flip-flop and all I could think was "Dear God, please don't let this be happening" as my fingers shook while dialing my Pain Management Doctor's office.  The question flew out of my mouth, pleading to find out if this drug was being used by her, and I was stunned to hear that hundreds of her patients had called, desperate for "good news" and probably breathing in a Huge Sigh of relief~~ I certainly did-being grateful for my Doctor not
using this particular company.

For all of those who received injections- it has to be a living nightmare, just waiting for the first signs of the illness to appear!  We reach out for help with Chronic Pain-not careless drug production that sends us in a nosedive of Fear.  For those still battling Chronic Pain-this type of news can easily drive them into hiding-afraid to reach out for medical help, fearful of becoming another victim.  Lawsuits are forming-but no lawsuit in the world can bring a loved one back to a grieving family~~ patients who contract this terrible illness face lengthy recovery periods, joined by an array of massive medical bills!

I am enraged with this horrendous injustice inflicted upon helpless people-but I know rage is wasted energy, and I want  to Help~~ So I turn to God~~ saying my words of prayer here,

"Dear God-For those helpless victims who have passed from this nightmare illness, please comfort their families in this hour of darkness for them.  For the victims who are currently ill and fighting for their lives-oh how I beg you God to cover them with your precious Healing-reach out and touch them with your LOVE.  
God please be with the countless others who sit in suspended Fear, hear their Prayers as they Beg to be spared this terrible illness.  Please be with the doctors who treat people for Chronic Pain-help them to be more diligent about these drugs and the procedure, after all the Doctors are an extension of your Healing Power.  Thank you for listening God~~ I know you are right here!"

Its not easy to say this God-but its needed~~ Forgive those who are directly involved with making 
this drug.  

On this night I wish Chronic Pain would just go away-but that doesn't happen.  My heart is deeply burdened~~  I am so very sorry for every person living in Pain and I pray this illness will pass by all who were in its terrible path.

God bless.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Feeling the Fear of a New & Old Patients~~~~

Yesterday was time for Injections again as we continue waging war against my Stubborn Sciatic Nerve.  As usual, I am there before the doors open because my body knows precious relief is so close and I am so ready!  Usually I take time to look around, seeing others who are there for the same purpose but this time, I saw numerous little children and wondered what was going on~~ suddenly my Long Ago Mother Memories kicked in, realizing they were probably having Ear Tubes put in. The Moms all had a look of uneasy fear about them while their children played-unaware of what was ahead for them.  The nurses and Doctors go to extra lengths for the kids-trying to ease sudden tears and giving them a tiny bit of "Happy Bubble Gum" spray so they can relax a bit as they leave the loving embrace of their parents.

I got settled in-still first in line for injections and suddenly heard a man next to me answering all the normal questions~~ "when did you last eat or drink anything and what medications are you taking?"  The list went on and I could tell with each question, the tone in his voice grew with tension and the nurse asked "Is this your first time to see the doctor?"

He said a shaky Yes and I knew his mind had to be racing with thoughts of the unknown~~ would there be Pain, what all would be done to him, and hoping everything went fine so he could wake up and be okay!
A curtain hung between us-giving us some privacy but I wanted to see this man and tell him "You are with the best Doctor for Pain Management-its going to be okay and its normal to be scared!"  Instead I
said silent words of Prayer, asking the Lord to help this man as he went through his procedure, and prayed he too could find some relief.

As the nurse continued with questions, I heard the familiar symptoms of Back Pain and Sciatica that had brought this man to the clinic today.  My heart went out to him as I wondered how long he had been in the Chronic Pain journey.  Suddenly my time had arrived-I visited with my doctor, going over my long list of Sciatica Pain and then off I went to the procedure room. It felt like everyone was going out of their way to ease my own fears, offering words of hope "Lets hope this one helps you Martha"  and I knew~ they have seen me there many times-a silent reminder that Sciatica has me in its grips, and something told me
they had a clue as to how hard my battle has been.

Right before I got my own special "Medicine Margarita" I recall telling the people around me "Thank you for always being so caring-you keep giving me real Hope each time I come here!"  Now my own fears rushed to the surface, I whispered a silent prayer of Thanks for these amazing people who offer a"Caring Touch" to each person. The Pain shows on us all-serving as a tough reminder to all that Pain has been working Overtime on the body!

Yesterday a caring group of "Special Medical Angels" surrounded me and countless others with love!
This is a blessing  I am thrilled to receive~~~ serving as a reminder  I am never alone in my journey
with Chronic Pain.  This was my Joy moment yesterday.  I will store it in my heart and lean on it.

You are all in my Prayers.  God bless you.


Sunday, October 7, 2012

A Steady Hand found Me just in time~~

Our Church is growing rapidly in two ways~~~ the most obvious is so many New Faces coming-I have lost count as the old church pews are crowded each week!  The other noticeable change in growth is the dwindling number of our Older Crowd-of which both of us now find ourselves among, seems like it just happened.  One day everyone is sitting in their usual spots- suddenly I look around to see this small intimate group of familiar faces, age showing its signs as we start to sing and our voices all blend together-making a Joyous noise to the Lord, at least we think its filled with Joy.  

I know these faces well-we have been members of this parish for over 27 years and seen many changes come, especially in the Priest category.  At times it seemed like the door was moving too fast as they came and went in a flash-God must have decided a true change was needed and HE brought us Priests from Nigeria-suddenly we knew it was vital to "Listen Attentively" during services as the thick accent took some getting used to-but their joyous Spirit was like a breath of Fresh Air and now we can't imagine our church without one of these gifted Priests as part of our church family.  

As services began, everything seemed fine-I  noticed my Pain had settled down to a low hum, giving me needed Peace for true concentration on my prayers. The Choir had changed their singing to a beautiful low hum of the song-and within seconds, my body was screaming!  My Pain level went from a gentle hum to a raging Throb and Burning that raced up and down my leg-I needed a place to hide from this tortuous Pain but I didn't want to draw any attention by jumping up and leaving services,
 so my silent battle raged on as I resisted the urge to squirm in my seat.  

My husband sensed something was wrong, whispering as we stood to go receive Communion, "Are you Okay?" My Face told him the answer- sadness filled his face.  He knew our moment of being with God had been interrupted by PAIN, but there was nothing he could do.  We moved forward, when suddenly I felt my bad leg go Numb- as if I was standing on one Leg and a major Fall was headed my way!  In desperation, I grabbed the back of my husband's shirt, trying to hold on-all the while my leg is buckling as a frantic thought races through me-
  "You are Not supposed to fall down in church, what is everybody going to think about you Martha?"

Suddenly I hear the gentle whisper of words "I have you-don't worry" and I was filled with such a sense of Peace and Security.    A dear lady from our Older Crowd walking behind me saw my leg buckle and 
 reached out to steady me, with her arms and especially with words of assurance.  I knew in that moment
God was there~~

My dear husband was filled with worry, ushering me out of the church so fast-giving our Priest a 
Flying Hand shake as I told him "Pain arrived-I have to get home now" and he knew.  
Its one of those days I will never forget-oh I would love to say the Pain eased when I got home, but thats 
not the case-It was another long night of me, Pain and Prayer.

You never know when that "Steady Hand" will be there to assist you, just be grateful for it!

I pray for all who suffer with Chronic Pain-May the Lord comfort you with His Love.


Friday, October 5, 2012

Too many Four in the Mornings~~~~

One right after the other-another early morning of Pain rousing me from much needed sleep, and I drag around the house, quiet as a mouse and think-"Well thank God Monday is almost here!"  Some people tell me to stop going for the injections-all they do is buy me some time away from Pain~~I pause each time these words come my way, and then tell the person speaking to me- "I will take Five precious Minutes of Freedom from Pain"

As to the "Why" of me having such a lengthy flare-up with this burning Sciatica, there aren't a lot of possible answers.  This is the way things are right now and I have hope-there have been times when it quietly settled down and I felt human again.  One thing I am very proud of is my recent "Martha Beginner's Walking Class"-truly a struggle at first-just to walk a short distance to our gate, turn around and come back to our home-definitely baby steps but it felt glorious as I reached down deep inside and pulled my Determination to the surface!

This will probably always be a process of "Two Steps Forward, Eight Steps Backward" as my Walking Class must give pause for my body to heal from the injections before I start the slow steps again.  Today I managed to get outside, doing some minor plant sprucing and taking in the beauty of a Fall Day here in Texas.

As I walked around the house in the dark hours before dawn's light began to show- I thought about the lyrics to the Song "Its Four in the Morning"  a beautiful memory surfaced of dancing to this song with my husband-many years ago.  Its danced as a Slow gentle Waltz-and I can still see us feeling the joy of being in each other's arms and thinking of nothing else but the music and our love for each other.  Pain has taken most of the Dancing from us, but it will never touch Our Love-no matter the ups and downs of Life.  We made a promise to each other over 37 years ago, standing before God and saying those words "In Sickness & in Health-Till Death do us Part!"  My prayer is to grow old together, thanking God for each day we are given.

If I could give any advice to those who are suffering with Chronic Pain- "just do what works for you, but keep trying because Life Is Worth the Effort!

God be with all who are fighting this battle.  I am praying for all of you.   Martha


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Be Careful when you Park in a Handicap spot~~~

We park in a Handicap Spot-eyes seem to be watching for those obvious signs to tell the world "She doesn't need to Park there-look at her, walking and talking-Nothing is wrong with her!"  Moments like this make me think about  crawling from our vehicle, wondering what reaction this might bring.  We all can choose to "See what we want to" not pausing to think about the need a person has in utilizing this "Sacred Parking Spot!"  Its a given for me that any additional walking to reach a store is only going to increase my already High Pain rate-to a level that feels like my Leg is now being run through the Spin Cycle of a Washing Machine-as the constant Burning in my Leg grows like the flames of a huge Bonfire-all I can do is drag along and hold on for the ride.

Yesterday my husband took me on a ride to some nearby towns, we finally stopped for lunch and there was one Handicap spot left to park in-but it was on an incline and I knew a challenge lay ahead for me to get out of our vehicle without falling on my face.  A couple stood nearby-glaring at us for taking this spot and all I wanted to do was jump out and escape their stares.  Unknown to me, as I stepped out of the door, a slight hole was right in my path-causing me to almost fall, as I grabbed the door and hung on for dear life.

I can't begin to describe my anger at this near fall-so many emotions flew around as I knew my husband was worried that I had probably strained another crumbling piece of my back (yes I have a miserable back problem too) as I start shouting over the roaring traffic, hoping my husband will hear me"I am fine, just Fine"-the observing Couple appears frozen! My Husband yells back "Nope, you messed your back up again, I just know it!"  My voice is rising to a  Screaming sound "It doesn't matter if I messed my Back up, the Raging Sciatic Burn is driving me Batty" as I pause to catch air "Its not my fault there was a stupid hole in the pavement" as dear husband puts an end to our flying words "Well thank God you are going to the hospital Monday!"  

It was like a gate had opened for the couple so they could make a quick get away from this unfortunate moment-but I felt the need to say something nice as they passed by me"Sure is a pretty day isn't it!" No words, nothing to let me know they heard what I said-they just kept moving on.   We found a table and both of us erupted in laughter as to this Moment in the Handicap Spot looked like.  There we were-having a mini-argument, all our fears about extra Pain being unloaded for the world to see-we wondered "did those people think we were nuts or what?"  Strange as it sounds, I didn't feel a second of embarrassment for the brief Verbal exchange witnessed by this couple.  I wanted to tell them my story-how I had now been up for hours with Pain raging all around my leg (the body needs more than three hours of sleep each night) but I had pushed exhaustion and Pain to the side for a while- to be with my husband, enjoying a brief meal as both of us gave Thanks to God for me having not fallen on the Ground!  

There is nothing pretty about Chronic Pain-I am sure the couple only saw a haggard looking woman, dark circles from no sleep, verbally raging across a vehicle to her husband about some stupid hole in the way, and a frustrated husband-convinced this was only bringing further Pain to his wife.  But they missed the Best part,
the two of us walking from the restaurant, holding hands and simply taking in the beauty of a fall day in Texas.  It was a moment of  Joy for me-but it certainly got off to a rather Rocky Start!

Please know I keep all who are suffering with Pain in my Prayers, and if you can find a moment, I sure could use just One Prayer to help me get through this burning battle I face each day.  God bless.


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

How others speak about Pain~~~~~~

If you have dropped by my Blog, its a sure bet you got a chance to read many Comments I make about the Chronic Pain I live with each day of my life, and without question, I do not mince words-Chronic Pain is Miserable!  Thats my nice spin on it as I realize it really serves no purpose to lean back in my chair and let words fly that should never be seen on the computer screen.  Those words come when I am lying on the Procedure table at the hospital and my Wonderful Pain Management Doctor begins the injections. Thank goodness I don't recall anything that I said and always apologize to everyone around me-they put me at ease by telling me "Heh, Pain Hurts~ you are not the only one who lets the cursing fly while you are here!"

Recently I found some quotes made by Shakespeare regarding Sciatica Pain-I wondered if he really knew what it was all about and so it sent me on a search venture of sorts to see what "comments" I might find on the Internet from others who are living with this monster called Chronic Pain.  The first website I found was one for people who suffer with Arthritis and its many forms~~~ it took less than a minute to find pages of comments made by these "warriors" and a deep place in my heart began to ache!  

Here is a mix of real words spoken by real people who battle each day of their lives with Chronic Pain~~
"I try to Remain Positive, but sometimes I feel pretty worthless"
"Living with Chronic Pain-Uhm, how about Lets Not!"
"You got to Keep on Slogging through the Mire"
"I never want to feel Pain like this Again"
"I am so tired of it all, but You have to keep Going"
"All I have is memories of what I once was-Its a Hard Pill to Swallow"
"Prayer keeps me Grounded and Sane"
"I choose to Live and not let Pain take everything away!"

Their words went on and on as I stumbled upon a page where some of our Famous Actors spoke about living with Chronic Pain~~ George Clooney, an extremely talented man has battled with severe back pain from injuries and had to slow his career down as he battled with pain.  Jerry Lewis-an actor whose on screen antics has brought much laughter to people, finally had a device implanted in his spine to help him live more free of unending Chronic Pain.

Yet all the people who shared some of their words about the anguish they must face each day in the Battle, are still living and moving and trying very hard to cope.  There are so many days when I would love to just start crying and not stop for a long time-but instead I grit my teeth and push forward.  In simple words-I stuff my heartache down, until finally everything bubbles to the surface and I realize- "Its Okay to Cry!" Tears are a way to release frustration, anger, Physical Pain and Sadness-and after a good cry, I can rise up and face the Battle again.  

If I were to offer any advice to those who do Not live with Chronic Pain and one day you find someone standing in front of you as they dare to share about the ups and downs of living with Pain-

                                             ~~~~Simply open your Heart and Listen~~~~

I ask God to please be with everyone who is suffering with Pain-help bring them a moment of Relief.