After almost sixteen years of fighting day and night against Chronic Pain, it can easily become a cycle that we get wrapped in and have NO room for anything else. When I first began this BLOG process, I had no clue as to what words would come out each time as I allowed myself to open up and SHARE my battle with Chronic Pain. As time goes on, I hear from others who are clawing their way through PAIN and am humbled by their inspiring words because I know better than anybody how HARD it is to fight something you really can NOT see but certainly can FEEL!
Chronic Pain can ROB you of so much. The body that once could do ANYTHING we asked of it, now is weakened by the battle, and daily adjustments must be made to find our way through. What was once real true JOY is now replaced with a TOUGH outer shell that we cling to. Let's be honest...when your body is hurting ALL the TIME, who the heck FEELS like smiling and laughing? I find myself with this semi-plastered smile on my face and know I must push myself to find that JOY.
Without a doubt it's SO easy to get MAD about this battle that I brought to myself! On the worst days of PAIN, I find myself going back to that awful day when I thought "you can do this" and yet hearing words of "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" But of course, I did not WAIT and it's vital I do not allow myself to DWELL too long in the past. PAIN does not give us a vacation. It's always here, and I know how deep I must reach inside to find the strength to FIGHT back.
There are TOUGH emotional side effects to Chronic Pain. But amazing life lessons are brought to me each day. By the grace of God, lots of PRAYER and a stubborn streak that refuses to go away is what keeps me going. I am learning it is OKAY to lean on your loved ones, take a long nap, CRY, SHOUT, and, above all, KEEP LAUGHING with real JOY that is STILL inside each of us.
Nobody is perfect, but I feel that all who deal with Chronic Pain are truly WINNERS in every sense of the word. And we will not give in and let PAIN win.
A great post, Martha, that I can totally identify with. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThis post came on the heels of one of those TOUGH days where everything just HURT! Your words of praise mean so much and HELP me more than I can ever say! Keep fighting back against PAIN and know you are in my prayers. Martha
ReplyDeletei can relate to your info. i was rear ended in a car accidcent over two years ago, and i live in pain everyday. i try my best but i struggle and rely on my love ones to help me with house work and such..at first i was ashamed, but now i know it is okay for help....what i do hate thoough is insurance adjusters who sit behind a desk and tell me i should be over pain. they send you to there so called assessors who really work in there favor , but dont give me the treatment by body needs , victimized more. i keep on fighting them though,this is my health
ReplyDeletei need to go to gym alomst everyday to get my energy .....pain just drains me.
angela
Angela-
ReplyDeleteFirst I am so sorry to hear that you must suffer with the enemy, Chronic Pain and yet admire your determination in going to the gym, not giving up on YOUR body! Not everyone can do that and it shows deep inner strength. As to the insurance company-I could go on forever about the "faceless battle" we fight because I truly believe that we are just that-people sit at desks, examine our personal cases and make decisions that do NOT affect their lives, but can make your life a living hell. Your statement of being victimized is spot on and speaks volumes. I am also proud that you realize its okay to ask for HELP-we all need it as the daily grind takes everything out of us. Please keep your amazing courage going, and know I have you in my thoughts and prayers. I am honored you left such a thought-provoking comment.
God bless. Martha