PAIN seems to have formed a dance of sorts with me. As I wake each morning, it's right there, waiting for my feet to hit the floor, telling me, "Time for another PAIN twirl around the floor today!" I know there aren't too many options of even temporary relief out there for me because my insurance is telling me that I am limited to just a certain number of pain injections each year. It continues to blow my mind as to how these people can become GOD without knowing ME. They just sit in some faraway office and casually read my case. They've NEVER WALKED THE SHOES OF CHRONIC PAIN. I suppose it is easier for that sort of detachment. They don't have to see the faces of REAL people who are suffering this Dance with PAIN. So I accept this cursing with frustration but knowing that I can choose to either stay Angry or get on with the GIFT of life that I am given each day, no matter how HARD my Dance is at times.
Dancing was a real JOY for me at one time before the fall from the tree. But now it's an almost impossible task to attempt. By the grace of God, though, I am seeing EXAMPLES of TRUE GRIT. They are a couple we treasure as our neighbors. They've been married for more than 70 years and, believe it or not, they still DANCE! I have never seen them on the dance floor, but I've heard from friends that they can dance younger couples off the floor. Let's see...they BOTH have pacemakers. One also has a 20-year-old HIP replacement still hanging in there to work for him. At the glorious ages of 97 and 93, they are simply CHERISHING each Dance they have together! I tell myself, "Well, if THEY can do it, what's holding ME back"
So I am giving myself a new GOAL: to try and DANCE again with the hope of joyous music playing as my husband gives me a twirl around the dance floor! There will probably need to be a CHAIR waiting for me to catch me, but what a VICTORY I will feel, knowing that PAIN did not keep me completely locked away from something I once cherished. This new dance might only last a few minutes, but I will gladly take even a brief moment of JOY. It's worth the fight to get there!
Your neighbors sound so precious! I'm praying and visualizing you dancing with your husband. It will be a special moment - not just for you, but for us, who will join in your joy. Can't wait to read all about it!
ReplyDeleteHi Diane-yes without a doubt my neighbors are my inspiration for pushing on through, no matter what life throws at you. They just found out their oldest daughter has liver cancer-all I could do was hug them both and offer my prayers. My heart is aching for both of them. But I know they will still keep DANCING and so now I am going to give it my BEST effort! My husband just beamed when I shared this post with him-just the thought of a single dance again in his arms-oh what JOY that brings to my heart! Thanks for your prayers and support and know, you are in my DAILY prayers, that God will lift you up and give you the strength to keep on fighting back!
ReplyDeleteGod bless you always. Martha