Chronic Pain can be a wicked ride

Each day, I deal with my own Pain and have moments of gut-wrenching frustration. I have awful times when I can't find my battle mantra because Pain is raging and the fight within me is out of my grasp for the moment. It's so easy to get down and feel really sorry for myself, turning inward, not wanting to be around anybody or talk to anyone. Instead, I just want to be alone with the Pain and literally "knock the heck" out of it! Pain doesn't have a face that I can reach out and slap to teach it a lesson. Instead, it has invisible arms that wrap around my leg and back, seeming to almost choke the remaining feeling left in my damaged nerves.


The best description I could give to Pain is that it's like being on a carnival ride that never stops. When you find the "getting off the ride" point just floating by and no matter how hard you try, there is simply no way to leave this particular carnival ride of Pain. Through my blogging, I have been privileged to meet others who are on their own personal ride. As I hear them describe days so filled with Pain that to even speak to another person is too great a task. All they want to do is curl up in a ball and push the Pain away from their body. But they know that's not going to happen.


Meeting others through this blog about Pain has become a lifeline for me because now I realize when my body is exhausted and all I want is to be left alone, there are others out there, who feel exactly the same! So I work hard to pull myself out of the valley and remind myself of the importance of praying for you so that we can all find a way to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. AND as a dear friend said: "Keep Looking for the Rainbow" ...or anything that can bring a brief moment or two of joy.


I have no way of truly describing to anyone just how hard this fight is. So instead of constantly trying to describe the Pain, I look the other person straight in the eye when they ask, "Is this Pain really that tough?" Without blinking, I reply, "I would not wish this Pain on my worst enemy!" Somehow, they seem to get my message. Then I ask them to please pray for me and for all those in the world who suffer with this insidious enemy called Chronic Pain.