I have been away from my Blog~~wish I could say it was something big that took me away from my writing but its not. Doubts and fear surfaced and I needed time to sort everything out. Perhaps one thing I needed to learn was to give myself permission in taking a day or two or three weeks off from writing. The break has helped and I realized just how very much I miss sharing my thoughts and life with others--its very important to me as I share my journey of living with chronic pain--always hoping I can be of help to others who must walk this wicked path.
There are so many things I am truly thankful for at this Thanksgiving~~~I thank God for giving me the strength each day to get up and move~~~keep moving and looking for some Joy, regardless of how bad the Pain gets. Don't get me wrong~~~there are many days when I simply can't do much, and this is when I really Learn to respect this Pain--my body needs rest and its okay to "be lazy" when these days arrive. I am beyond thankful for my amazing Husband~~~who stands with me, helps me through the tough times, holds me during the Sad times, laughs with me at things that seem Funny just to us!
So how did Thanksgiving "Stir the Memory Pot" so easily? Simple~~~memories of so many times with family and friends who have passed on. Remembering my First Thanksgiving as a married woman and having my parents there to enjoy the meal with us. Thank goodness I managed to cook the Turkey and dressing---recalling our son chewing on a huge Turkey leg as a very young toddler~~pausing on that memory, sadness rising and the realization of knowing this is our life now and we cherish it just the way it is.
We used a lot of Pots today--each one managed to bring another memory to the surface and there was much laughter today, as we remembered that long ago time when it was just the two of us and that was all we needed. Today as we prayed before our meal, we felt "our loved ones" watching over us and realized there will always be a "Stirring of the Memory Pot" at times of holidays. I pray your
Thanksgiving day was peaceful and happy.
Thanks for following my Blog and I pray you will drop in and read my words again. Martha
I spent the day alone…It wasn't what we planned. I went to Warren's sister's house with them, but had to leave immediately because of someone's strong hairspray. Although she knew about my sensitivity, she never considered her hairspray. No one else could even smell it, although, for me, it permeated the house.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, my mom lives close by, so I stayed at her condo, while she went to dinner with the rest of the family. My head felt like it would explode…and I cried from loneliness. How many events I miss…how often I am alone.
Who can save me from this? Who can give me company when I am all alone?
Only Jesus.
How life is not what we thought it would be. Holidays in particular cause our wounds to bleed and ache again. How grateful I am to have you and others in my life who keep me pointed in the direction of the cross…where mercy and strength is found. Much love to you and your good man.
Judi~~ The "PAIN" you went through on Thanksgiving pours forth in your words as you openly share how HARD this day was for you. Nobody really understands how tough the Pain journey is--except those who are walking with it each day.
DeleteI forced myself out of my PJs and we sat at our table together~~talking about the past memories, reflecting on our Son and it didn't take long for the Heartbreak to push its way through. Life is Not what we thought it would be--others talk about grandkids, and we listen with a smile. But our hearts ache and it does feel as if that wicked Scab has been re-opened again. I am learning FAST how important it is that I stay Calm--emotional upheaval only makes the Physical Pain worse.
Judi you know better than anybody that your tears were needed. Without question it is painful to miss out on these days of special celebration, but I know JESUS is with you every second of the day. My dear you help to remind me of the same FACT.......
Wish I could have been with you, my PJs on, a hot cup of tea, a soft pillow to sit on, not saying a word--giving you peace, and praying for you.
There is still so much left for us to do---I pray you will have more GOOD days than Bad ones...
Thank you for your amazing LOVE Judi!! I am very blessed to have such a wonderful friend in you.... love, martha