The fun moments with Pain!

Yes, I know. Somebody's thinking, "Did she just say 'Fun moments with Pain?'"

There is NO FUN when each day is filled with Chronic Pain and your life seems to have evolved into just trying to fight your way to the next second of the day. And by deep determination, somehow we manage to get there. Each person shows their times of battle. I know mine shows when the dark circles under my eyes refuse to go away. Even before a weather change has begun to move its way toward my part of the country, my body is screaming at me and telling me "Weather is on the way, and somebody is catching it somewhere!"  


I never thought about Pain being funny until I recovered from my recent procedure of having all the nerves in my back "burned" or deadened so the pain would ease. That's when a moment of strange fun managed to show up one day. My husband wanted to attend a Midnight Christmas Eve Mass. Although the weather was cold, I pushed myself to go and figured with my trusty walking cane in hand, nothing could go wrong.

Usually, when we think nothing can go wrong, THAT'S when it happens! Right?


At church, we sat and listened to a beautiful choir sing. I watched as the sanctuary begin to fill. Then the service started. When no one was looking, I spotted a "holding spot" where my walking cane could rest. See, I have a habit of knocking it over during church service, which typically triggers looks from people around me who are probably want to tell me, "Don't you know how to put the cane away?" I felt like beaming because I'd discovered a hidden spot. However, in my haste to tuck the cane away, I didn't see there was a very different purpose for this spot....it's where people put their song booklets away. Uh oh. Before I even knew what had happened, my cane was hidden behind the books!

Finally, a moment in the service came when all the people rose from their pews. Of course, there's my husband, standing tall and proud, thinking I'm standing right beside him! Wrong! Because as I reached for my cane to help me stand up, I couldn't find it! Panic hit me fast when I noticed a lady beside me who was now looking down at me, wondering why I wasn't standing. Then...the fun arrived! I tried to stand up on my own but only plopped back into the church pew! I'd forgotten how weak the muscles in my back are. Being the stubborn person that I am, I took a deep breath and went at it again! Same thing happened. I plopped right back into my seat. Finally, my husband looked around, then down at me. He gave me a look that said, "What the heck are you doing down there?"

All I can say is within the next few seconds, while my husband was standing, I made silent hand gestures that said THERE IS NO CANE TO BE FOUND! I CAN'T GET UP! The lady next to me must have thought we were having a very silent argument or something. Finally, it dawns on my husband: the only way I can stand is if HE pulls me up! So up he pulls me to me feet, and we both are doing everything in our power not to laugh out loud because we were the only ones who knew there had been a Fun Moment of Martha versus Lost Cane and too many church booklets!

After the service ended, we both sat in the pew and laughed as we pulled out numerous song books so we finally locate my lonely cane. We didn't worry about how our situation looked to others because we knew what it meant to us...WE WERE LAUGHING! I'm always mentioning in my blogs about finding a moment of Joy in each day. Well, that was our moment! Believe me, it helped carry us through the ups and downs of the remainder of the holiday season.

I know there are plenty of days ahead for me that will have no fun or joy in them as I battle my Chronic Pain. But one thing's for sure. I will never lose my cane again! Keep smiling when you can, cry when you need to and never forget to laugh!

My prayers go out to all who battle with Chronic Pain.