The other "face" of Pain

My fingers haven't been at these keys for a while now because I've been recovering from a major procedure to ease the Chronic Pain in my back. And I can joyfully say the results are very good! Not perfect–I wasn't looking for that–just simple relief where I could lift my head above the pain and simply be relaxed. I am almost there. Is this the end to my Pain Journey? No. It's not because I still have Sciatica Pain going down my leg day and night–that's a "gift" from the tree fall that will stay with me forever. But I am able to cope with that pain better now and so it allows me to look beyond my physical Pain and see another "face" of Pain–emotional heartache, and in a time of holidays and all the expectations that go with the season, for whatever reason, old hurts, losses we try to keep tucked away. Well, they come rushing to the surface and will not be pushed out of sight. Instead, they take front and center of our lives.

At my local church this morning, I was upbeat, happy to be alive and looking forward to this new year laying in front of us. My attention was drawn suddenly to a dear older lady, sitting by my husband. One look told me everything–she was struggling to just "be there" as her frail body showed the signs of aging and a failing heart. I wanted so badly to take her pain away. Yet I knew that prayer was the only thing I could offer her. She began coughing, and people all around her were patting her shoulders, whispering sweet words of support. So I jumped up and ran to get her a small cup of water, praying it would somehow bring ease to her. What I didn't realize was that she had leaned on my husband's strong shoulder and gently whispered to him, "Please pray for me." And I saw the other "face" that left me with a sudden ache in my heart.  

Yet she did not leave the service, as one could see this determination written on her face that told us all, "I want to be here with the Lord." I believe every person near her was praying, praying, praying. I tried to get my focus back on the service and for whatever reason, my eyes fell upon another "face" as I recognized a young couple who lost their precious little girl to leukemia a few years ago. We had all grieved together as a church family, wanting to help them through their loss and knowing that all we could do was pray and love them. My eyes could not leave this young father as I watched him and thought about how pain-filled this holiday had been for him. It was written all over him, and his lovely wife showed the signs, too. But she was doing her best to be strong and was in deep prayer. I felt helpless, wanting to speak with him, try to offer words of support and hope. That was when it hit me. Just as with Chronic Physical Pain that refuses to go away, there are many heartbreaking events in life that will never leave our hearts. 

We all suffer in one way or another through our lives. Somehow it helps to know that we are never alone. My precious Dad taught me a lesson that has stayed with me since I was a young girl. One day I was complaining and feeling sorry for myself. He looked at me and said, "Sister, when you think life is treating you so bad, that it just can't get any worse, STOP.  Look around. That's when you will see somebody hurting a lot worse than you are! This is when you count your blessings!" He called me Sister a lot, and I can still hear that lesson in my heart, as if he were speaking it to me at this very moment. I am learning as I continue my journey with Chronic Pain that life is not always fair, and Pain has a face we don't like seeing or talking about.  

Life can be tough. But it's also filled with the simple joy of being alive and each of us finding our own strength, courage, faith. My prayer for all who are suffering: never give up. There is always a glimmer of joy out there for us to see. May this new year bring physical and emotional ease to all who suffer. God bless you.