Being the "nurse" instead of a patient...

Men don't get sick that often. I think it's just a given fact. But when they do get sick, oh, my! Drop everything and get ready to be Super Nurse! My dear husband recently decided to give himself a gift and spend the day learning how to fly fish! All he had to do was show up and there would be an expert guide, complete with all the equipment and many fish waiting for his hook to get their attention.

I had forgotten to inquire as to how "long" his day would be but figured all was well. As the sun was setting and my "worry" mode had begun, here he came, driving up. Instead of seeing him flying inside to tell me all about his day, I noticed a man who was obviously in Pain! His back problems are actually more serious than mine, meaning that he has both a herniated disc and a ruptured disc. So it doesn't take much to get things messed up. Once he got into the house and tried to start talking, I realized he was in a full blown allergy attack of some kind. Stuffy nose, headache, itchy eyes...You name it, the poor guy had it! So no questions were asked about his day. Instead, I went into full Nurse Martha mode and grabbed every allergy medicine in the house, hoping it would help him. Finally, a warm cloth across his eyes and him laying down to rest in bed began to make all the difference in the world. I started to breathe a bit easier because this man is truly my Rock in every sense of the word.  


Over the  years as I have battled with the Pain and serious complications from surgeries, he has always been there for me. It's very scary to see him down and suddenly being the one needing his own Rock to lean on. I found myself thinking, "Will I do as good a job in caring for him as he does for me?" So I prayed for guidance and probably did a bit of Nursing Overload when he began telling me, "Okay, Martha, I am starting to feel better. You don't have to be watching me constantly!" Ah, that was music to my ears! Soon he was back on his feet, still with the sniffles but feeling so much better.  


Now I brought up His Back issues. Of course, he was "clueless" as to why his back was bothering him so much. "Must have been when I was bending over to plant seeds in the garden," he mused, "or maybe when I was putting a new lock on the door. Yes, that's what did it, right?" I paused and then told him, "Well, each day you get on the treadmill to walk, all I can hear is a hard sound of you running on that machine. Do you think that might have done the damage?" His look and reluctance to answer reminded me so much of myself, knowing the times when I did something that was probably going to intensify my Pain and simply not wanting to admit the truth!

So we both sat and talked, now sharing our Pain issues together and realizing this could easily require some serious decisions. My back problems are a mix of tree fall and degenerative disc problems, not fixable. The more we shared about what might lay ahead, it was wonderful to see how trusting we were, knowing we have a wonderful doctor who treats both of us and that whatever comes ahead, we will face it together, by love for each other and lots of prayers to the Lord. As my husband says, "Life is a roller coaster ride, ups and downs, and we just hang on, together." We started to laugh about his "Fly Fishing Trip" not ending the way he had hoped and laughing at how we both have to "struggle" to get out of our chairs.

This was my Joy, all mixed up in caring for my husband, and then simply being thankful for each other. As you struggle with Chronic Pain, there are a ton of bad days. But do your best to cherish the good days. Keep pushing forward and looking upward!