Facing Pain-one wicked moment at a time~~~

Photo from Internet 

Do you ever have one of those weeks where it seems Pain has taken over and all you can do is crawl up into a tight ball-pleading for the throbbing to  stop?   This past week was my turn--it was an effort to even pull myself  out of bed,  rushing to turn heating pads on HIGH and waiting, hoping, praying for the Pain to slow down.  Nothing was working-I had told my husband" Well we either go see my Pain Doctor or just go ahead and take me to the hospital!"

I stumbled across this particular photo one night while surfing the Web and it grabbed  my attention~~ as I thought of breaking the word down-one letter at a time and wrapping it around the
Physical Pain I go through constantly.  It didn't take long for thoughts  to fly  and emotions released

P--pain, problem, pathetic, personal, pleading,prayer~~~My Pain is very Personal to me  as it  has  caused so many problems to come my way, leaving me to  Feel very Pathetic at times, and taking me to my Knees in Prayer----as I am Pleading for courage to keep fighting back and pushing myself to find simple moments of Joy.

A--anger, anguish, awful, acceptance~~~ I lost count over the years as  to the number of  times Anger rises in me because of the Pain I live with each day--moments of deep anguish and sorrow have followed me as I spent too many years blaming myself for climbing a tree and falling.  It took years for me to finally admit "Time for Acceptance  of the Pain--I  had a bad accident, wish I had never fallen---but I am still here,  and I give Thanks to God for that amazing fact.

I~inside, insist, interesting, I/me~~~people think all "looks" good with me-but if they could  take a glimpse Inside my body, they would see the Sciatic Nerve  choked tight with Scar Tissue- as I insist the Furious Burning flowing up and down my leg to Stop.  I find my Pain textbook 
waiting for me at the Pain Doctor's  Office--so many faces, young and old-all with Pain issues that one does not see~~~my Lesson comes when I push Me aside and LISTEN to others--their stories are
filled with interesting pieces  of life~~and when they ask me "What  happened to you-why are you  hurting so bad?"   The look on their face tells me so much when I answer "Well I fell out of a tree!"

N~~~never, no, nothing, nonsense~~~how I wish this had never happened to me, but you can't spend your life looking back-instead I choose to say a firm No to those moments of giving up.  Instead I push forward~~there are so many days when it feels like I have Nothing left to push the Pain back~~~and it hits me "Nonsense Martha-you have all the tools needed to keep the battle going and in the midst of dark times, you have FAITH and HOPE.  

Pain is a wicked word~~~but I choose to keep facing it, learning so much as I see others suffering  and living in spite of terrible Pain.  It really comes down to this~~~ PAIN WON'T BEAT ME...  It will shake me up, knock me down, toss me around, bring me to the ground, but with the grace of God, I will keep facing Pain, one wicked day at a time, and smile with delight as I catch a moment of Joy.

God be with all who are suffering~~~I pray your days get better.

martha