Pain can rob so much of you--meaning the person who had the freedom of laughter, joy, easy to move around, dancing~~~the list is too long and hurts as I realize the changes Pain keeps bringing my way.
I haven't blogged lately--because of Pain!! Yes the one thing I write about, fight with, have moments of success~~~feeling like I just might be normal again---all slides away lately because of the latest Pain in my life~~the Neck!!
All these many years of dealing with leg, hip and back Pain---it seemed like I had things in order~~until the Neck started screaming for my attention and everything has become scrambled as I wake each day feeling like a truck ran over me.
Now I am in the process of having a Laser Procedure done to burn the nerves in my Neck--praying I can avoid surgery, get some relief from the Pain and keep moving forward.
I am grabbing for my fighting words "PAIN WON'T BEAT ME" with one hand and reaching out for
HIS hand~~~~thats all I can do now. But I have Hope.
God be with all who are suffering with Pain--please help them in their darkest moments.
Martha
How I am praying for you as I read this! I have been an awful friend...please forgive me. I can't even find your email address. Having computer problems...and all other sorts of things too. We need to catch up, but I can't seem to find the energy to do much of anything. Pitiful, huh? Yes, reach out for His hand...over and over and over. HE never gives up on us, even when we feel like giving up.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up...never give up...it WILL get better. You will have strength to go on!
Judi
Hi Judi--
ReplyDeleteYou are a WONDERFUL friend---please know that~~my explanation of friendship runs a bit like this-
"Yeh I am having a horrible run with Pain and I want to hear Judi's voice"--then I stop, putting me aside for a few seconds and worry as to how YOU are doing. Pain has no boundaries--it skips from one person to another and we can get easily lost in the Sea of Faces who Suffer with Pain each day.
What helps me is the moment where I am thinking of you~~~it feels like a moment in the Boxing Ring with Pain and I have pushed my hand out toward the Pain---telling it "TALK to the HAND" because I am with my friend, Judi---in silent prayer and support!!
Know I am always thinking of you--praying you have more GOOD moments than Bad.
Love always, martha
Thinking of you today and always, my dear friend!
ReplyDeleteMartha...we just came back from a three week trip to Illinois and Kentucky. Been struggling a little myself with some pain issues too. Nothing compared to yours my friend. My sister in law, Jean is suffering right now with pain due to complications from her colon surgery. I thought about you as we visited her for there is not much they can do for her. Since I knew you would pray I am dropping her name to you. She told my husband she was not afraid to die. She will never have a normal life again, everything is shadowed by the cancer. She is not able to get on the computer anymore or I would have her visit your post for encouragement. You are a blessing my friend, your honestsy, your outlook on life, your talk of Him holding your hand...thanks for you words.
ReplyDeleteBetty-
Deletemy heart is saddened by your news~~~that long final walk--we can stand on the sidelines, offering love,compassion, tenderness, hope~~~but this time is between Jean and the LORD.
Cancer~~~right now Jean must do, feel, act,say whatever she wants to.
You say I can offer her words of encouragement~~~I am touched to the core and yet feel like I would stumble as I try to find the RIGHT words. Guess this is where I am learning big lessons- there are NO words that would fit the RIGHT category----only LOVE and opening our hearts to really LISTEN....
About one month before My Dad passed (if you heard this already-forgive me) I sat with him one day and he asks me, with ANGER---"So what do you DO in this Heaven place?" I didn't want to have this conversation--it was the beginning of letting go of my Dad.
I saw a photo of him on the wall, beaming as he held a full stringer of fish(he LOVED to fish) and somewhere deep in my heart, I felt other words "Come with ME and I will make you Fishers of Men" so I rolled out "Daddy they FISH a lot in Heaven--you will be fishing!" He glared at me, looking for any sign of me joking--he found none and on he went;---"Where would I get my pole to fish with?" No joke--I said "Moma will have it for you--she is waiting for you Daddy!" He saved the best question for last---"Okay--where would I get my Fishing License? You know I will never fish without my License!" I was begging God for words-- and they came--"Daddy--there will be a wonderful guy at the gates of Heaven--his name is PETER! I think he would have your license!!!"
We never spoke again about Heaven---Daddy was at peace with my silly answer--he saw the honesty in me--because in my own way--I believe in my words I gave to Daddy. Something told me it was his beginning of reaching for the Hand of his MASTER.... I will keep Jean in my prayers... Thank you for always beingYOU....love,martha