Most of the time my conversation about Pain is simple~~~~I am MISERABLE!! Its too hard for a list of words to be formed--all I can do is find my chair and fall into it~~praying I can get through the next few minutes so I can pull this day together. Year after year of Pain has taken its toll on my body~~some days all I want to do is CRY--fear grows that I might not be able to Stop. Does this sound familiar? Other days come and I stay quiet~~~giving myself time to reflect on this Tough Battle I wage each day---and finally those days come when I seem to be having a Verbal attack against Pain---not much comes from that.....
So--Here is my few minutes to just let it all out~~
I HATE hurting so much--seems like the Pain has grabbed all my bones and breaks them, over and over! It takes Forever to start my day moving~~~PAIN demands I collapse in my chair, and not move. My husband speaks a gentle "Morning"~~~He sees the Pain~~that hurts more than anything!!
Where did I go? Why do I feel so Old? How will I get through this Pain? Can I handle this and avoid Surgery? Would Surgery really help? Why did I do something so silly and climb up that Tree so long ago? How do people really look at me now? What can I do to help my husband not be so worried about me?
There you have it---a NICE rambling of frustration~~~no purpose in filling each sentence full with Curse words! For me--this journey with Chronic Pain is something I will be working at each day~~~I pray for courage and extra strength~~~maybe I can learn to let the Tears come more often---have to wait on that one. If you feel like sharing--please know you are welcome to drop by and have a PAIN CHAT.... Sounds like Such Fun!! Thats the hardest Part---there is NO fun in Pain---so please know I pray for you and hope you will say ONE prayer for me.
Thanks for listening!
Martha
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