Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Finding the courage to take a Special Trip

A story was always told to me by my Mom and my Grandfather about me being named after my Great-Grandmother. She was special, although her lifespan was very short because she died during childbirth. I knew she was buried in another state and that meant a LONG car ride, with PAIN sitting right beside me in the front seat.

My husband discussed the possible trip with me for over a month...what affect it would have on my Pain-riddled body, how many stops we needed to make for me to get out and STRETCH to work out the kinks of sitting in a vehicle and how this would add extra travel time and so on. I went back and forth with my decision to stay or go and finally decided: "Get up and MOVE. Don't THINK about the PAIN!" 

Not thinking about PAIN is a lot easier SAID than DONE. But I was ready to give it my ALL, and off we went. Each time we stopped, my dear husband was watching me closely to see who was ahead in the battle. I just kept it upbeat and continued to talk about how exciting it would be if we were able to FIND my Great-Grandmother's final resting place. Before I knew it, we had arrived at a very OLD cemetery that seemed to stretch for miles. My aching body was NOT looking forward to having to walk and hunt, but luck arrived when we spotted a office nearby. We quickly got driving instructions to  my Great-Grandmother's resting spot.

This was a moment that will stay with me for the rest of my life as we slowly drove near her spot. It felt like something was telling me "just look over here...you do not have to WALK." I almost jumped out of our vehicle and ran up to see my departed Great-Grandmother's name in clear view! All those years as a little girl, hearing my Mom tell me so many special things about her, and my Grandfather, speaking with such tones of LOVE about his departed Mother. It felt is if somebody really knew how hard this trip had been for me to take and was letting me know, if you PUSH past the PAIN, kick it OUT of your way, just LOOK at what you CAN do. JOY filled me up to the brim of my heart!

We took photos and did some paper etchings of her name. Then it was time to go find a place to rest for the night! Yes, my old body was aching and SCREAMING at me but the thrill of having MADE this trip just pushed back at the PAIN. I would NOT allow anything to rob me of this magical day! I made sure to also THANK my husband for the BEST wedding anniversary gift he could ever have given me–this trip! Yes, we made the trip on our 36th wedding anniversary. And although this TYPE of trip might not seem romantic or special, for both of us to be standing in front of my Great-Grandmother's resting spot and hugging each other with love, well, it couldn't get any better!

My advice to all who suffer with Chronic Pain: I fully realize a lengthy car trip is a HARD decision to make. So CHOOSE something easy, simple, and STICK to it because the accomplishment of having the courage to push PAST the miserable PAIN that racks our bodies each day, it is SO worth it! I pray we all keep looking for that one single moment of JOY each day!

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