Having to say Goodbye...

There are many older people who we see at church and have known them for many years, seen the ups and downs in their lives, watched them show off new Grandchildren and then suddenly, we realize the start of real health problems have begun and things are no longer the same.

My husband produces our church bulletin each week so he knows the names of all who are sick, homebound and in nursing homes.  These are the people we all strive to keep lifted up in prayer and it never fails, as we stay so busy with our own lives, we forget to ask how they are doing and if they need any help.

Our church is going through a huge growth spurt and there are very few faces we actually know right now.  Several of the older people are now on walkers, some recovering from hip surgery, others from bones that suddenly gave away and broke-which brings about change in their lives and they are never the same again.

Today my attention had been drawn to one particular lady-her name is Sophie and one look told me she was having some major health problems.  Now she walked with a cane and moved slowly-needing assistance to get down the steps.  I felt very moved during church to just walk by her and lightly touch her shoulder, but for whatever reason, held back from doing it.  Unknown to me, God had a different encounter ready for me to speak with Sophie.

I left after church and waited as my husband visited with different people and suddenly, ever so slowly, here came Sophie walking toward me and there was deep sadness resting in her eyes.  We did our familiar greeting and then she told me "I came to say Goodbye to you-because I will be leaving this little church."  Her words did not surprise me as I knew she had been struggling since her precious husband had passed just eight months ago and she was very lost without him.

Sophie began telling me that she had been through a serious health crisis and due to living alone, had gotten so sick that she lay in her bed for two days before anybody found her.  It had scared her family and they were now making the decision that she move into a Senior Citizen Apartment area in a town not far from here.  I listened in silence-seeing the deep pain she was going through and I thought about my Dad-recalling how hard it had been to make that decision that changed his life forever.

She seemed for this moment in time so alone and I asked where she was going to be-instead of mentioning the name of the town, she told me the name of the church and my face lit up in a huge smile!  I wondered if she thought I had lost my mind for a second and then I told her "Oh Sophie, that is a very special church for us-because its were we got married almost 37 years ago-we Love that church!"  Her eyes were glowing and she asked me "well do you think that maybe the two of you could drop by sometime and we go to church together?"  I told her that was a wonderful idea and once she was settled, we would plan a time to do it, and silently I was hoping that my comment about her future church would help her feel less a stranger as she might be sitting in service there and recall "now this is where Matt and Martha got married, yes I like this church!"

Then Sophie became very quiet and told me "its so hard to leave my home, I don't know How to do it!"  No matter how we try to phrase our response, there are no words to ease these feelings and I was not going to attempt this with Sophie, because I care for her and did not want to cause any further pain to her heart.

I then advised her to take "all the time" she needs and make sure to walk through each room of her home, recall the good times she had there with her husband and let the tears come-nothing was more important than her being given this dignity.  She lifted her head with tears in her eyes and told me "I will never be able to thank you and matt for how nice you always were to me and my dear husband, Ed" and then she said,
"I don't want to say Goodbye to you!"  It was so moving and I told her "we love you and will see you again Sophie, I promise!"  She leaned against me, and I could feel her frail body-and my heart ached.

We will all find ourselves at this place in life someday and I just pray there will be somebody near me that will care enough to stop and listen-instead of being in a hurry to move on.  Just as we were leaving, Sophie walked over to Matt and just gave him a gentle hug, and he did not understand all that was going on until I shared with him "She was trying to say Goodbye!"

Human kindness-we all need it and I believe God calls us to reach out to others, give that hug, share words of hope, and always offer to pray.  I did not like saying Goodbye to Sophie on this day-it hurt to see the Pain in her heart-and all I can do is hope my words brought her some comfort.