Its Not Impossible......

Its my best moment of the day-to enter my office (which was a garage at one time) tapping my foot, urging my  computer to move Fast! I look forward to opening up my Blogging World and learn how all the women in my "Circle of Friends" are doing.  So many are suffering with Chronic Pain and I do throw myself in the mix-this makes my heart sad because I know the damage Pain can do to our bodies and how drained we are each day from working so hard to be normal and the truth is "We don't really know what Normal is anymore!"  

Its fairly simple-I have forgotten what it feels like to not be in Pain all the time-even attempting to pull  a long ago memory up gets harder to do and I feel anger rising within!  I know why my Pain is here with me for the long haul-"that stupid tree and this stupid woman who thought she could do everything!"  Years of my life have been spent feeling such guilt over the horrible mistake I made and just within the past year, I finally  reached for "Forgiveness of myself!"  Once I did this-what an amazing difference it made in my life and now my answer to people who don't know why I suffer with Pain is "I had a really bad accident" and leave it there.  

Forgiving myself seemed Impossible to do-lets face it-I am the one who decided to battle the Tree and not give a second of thought to anything going wrong, but just had to show the world, "I can do this-it will be fine!"  In many of my blogs I have spoken about how many times I told my dear husband how sorry I was for climbing the tree-he has never asked me to do this and yet I am sure there have been many times when he wished "oh God I wish she had never fallen from the tree" but he would never utter those words to me.  

Nothing is impossible-with God on our side and prayer in our hearts- so many wonderful things can happen.  I know without a doubt God led me to blogging about my Pain and HE knew there would be many adventures waiting for me as I slowly found my way in blogging and letting my heart open up, so I could just talk and share about the struggle of being in Chronic Pain.

I have learned a very important lesson-there is always another person out there who is suffering with Pain and trying to find their way to still live and find joy in each day-letting me know, I am NOT alone!  God opened a door for me, I stepped in and found true spiritual friends-and we have formed bonds that will stay with all of us.  The real joy is knowing a "Circle" always has room to grow and expand-meeting others who are in the Pits of Pain and need somebody to just say "Yes- I do know how hard it is-may I say a prayer for you?"

To give an example of how "far the Circle stretches"-well it travels across the Globe and just keeps going!  We know each other by name and see a "face" on the blog site, and I had a visual image of all these women, standing around together, watching as a delicious batch of "Angel Cookies" were prepared.  Today as I read one of the Blogs from "The Circle" my heart was thumping as I read her thoughts on wishing we could find a way of actually meeting in person! There are many road blocks with the distance between us seeming to be just too far-but something is telling me, "If you pray really hard for something, then turn it over to God, I believe Miracles can happen!"  

I will be praying each day for this particular Miracle to unfold-and then I will "Let God and Let God" take over.  Today my heart filled with Joy as this thought formed in my heart and each second I think about it, brings a huge smile to my face.  For me this is rising up against the Pain and daring to HOPE.

Bless each one who suffers with Pain.  Keep looking for a second of Joy to help you find your way through the day!

Martha