Take all the Rules Out!

You never know where blogging will take you. For me, it's taken me beyond my chair where I sat for so long, wrapped in Chronic Pain and allowing it to win. Those were some of my darkest days, and I missed so much because I felt trapped, thinking there was nothing I could do now except live and fight with Pain. Yet God saw more inside me and sent a very dear friend who I think of as my true sister. She lovingly opened my heart to the idea of starting a blog about my Pain. When she first approached me about it, I felt true anger toward her but kept it silent and just listened to her gentle persuasion. Finally, I gave in, thinking that nobody would ever read anything I write, but maybe it would help get my mind away from the Pain.

Now I fast forward to this day, and it's amazing how far my blogging has taken me. Even though I hardly ever can travel, my words have gone around the world, and I have formed bonds with other women who suffer with Chronic Pain and live in places I could only dream about. Now "Lolita" shares her beautiful part of the world with me, and "Diane" tells me about the extreme winters in her part of the country. Then I was blessed to meet "Judi," a woman who suffers with tremendous physical Pain and yet is so strong in Faith, looking to God to guide her through each day.

Gifts have come my way from blogging and given me an inner strength to try new things, not to be afraid of maybe goofing up now and then but at least finding the courage to Try. Today, I walked into our local library for a meeting of their Oral History Project, of which I am a member and do interviews with people of all ages and walks of life. There on the bulletin board was an invitation to "Come Join our Writers Club." I could not take my eyes from the words. Should I dare try this? What will people think of my writing? Then I noticed the subject for the next class "Take all the Rules Out," and it pulled at me!

Somehow a little voice inside me was speaking and saying, "What can it hurt Martha? Why not try doing it!" And my decision was made as I requested an application to enter my name in the club. We had our meeting, and I must say my mind was not on target as all I could think about was the subject of  "Take all the Rules Out." My focus was on applying that title to how I live with Chronic Pain. I found myself thinking about times I didn't follow the rules, not listening to my doctor's advice, being stubborn and refusing to  give up doing things that were only causing me greater Pain.

My mind went back in time to the day I fell from the tree and knew "that was definitely a day in which I cast all Rules aside." Now I live each day with the results of my poor decision. What happens in life when we take all the rules out of how we live? Nobody is crazy about rules, but there is a purpose for them being there so that we can make our choices. I contemplate about the "Free Will" God gives to us as He watches over us, loving us as we go about our lives, and observing as we make our choices.

So I already can see that my taking a place in this writing class will probably get started with a bang because I choose not to toss out all the Rules! For me, some of these Rules are the most important in my life, starting with the Ten Commandments, having been taught by my Parents and with each lesson, recalling them teaching me about how God's amazing Love is within each of the Commandments. I can close my eyes and still hear my Mom giving her twist on this particular rule, "Turn the other cheek, always, but you better be ready to get Whip Lash!" Gradually, her meaning settled inside me, and I understood the hard part of turning the other cheek. I treasure my parents for having the faith to teach me these lessons because I know this is part of who I am. I am not ashamed of my spiritual life and could not make it through this life without God right beside me.

It will be an interesting journey for me as I attempt to take a writing class, but I go into it with no expectations, just joy at having come this far in my life and having the spirit inside me to give it a go, meet new people and learn about their own personal journey.