Four words~~~always directed to me in a kind manner--by this time, everyone knows Something is wrong with me and their question is valid. Oh I have a basket full of answers--"Still Hanging in There, Mean as Ever, Well-I am still alive!"
I notice people don't hang around after my answer comes flying out of me~~~it sinks in quickly that I am becoming quite unpleasant to be around-so I am learning to stay home on my worst days of Pain, because I can't make the Pain Go Away, it will not go away.......
Yes I know how to fight the battle against Pain--digging my feet into the ground and knowing, "Pain is Not Going to Take Me Away"--but it hit me as I keyed this post out~~the Scales have tipped a bit
in this battle-my attitude is different. I am constantly worn down, no energy to do anything but keep Pain from winning, and yet here I sit-knowing a cold fact~~I am so MAD!
Yes I could start raging at Pain~~~~cursing it, demanding it stop hurting so much, stop robbing me of everything good inside me. Only those who suffer with Chronic Pain can truly understand how HARD we must work to keep going~~This is a process that takes everything inside you--especially when Pain grows stronger by the day and your "window of Joy" is not that easy to find anymore.
But~~~enough complaining, "Get out of my way Anger--move fast because I am reaching up and grabbing for the loving HAND of GOD!" I have a Goal inside my Heart--don't have a clue where to start at, but I know this~~~I want to go visit young soldiers who have returned from War, with so many pieces missing in them---
all I want to do is ask "How are you Feeling?" Maybe, just maybe I could help.
God bless our Soldiers who are far away-doing everything to protect our country.
martha
Martha, my heart aches for you and your battle with pain. Your desire to visit soldiers has to be from the Lord...the enemy of your soul hate encouragement. I look forward to your post on these visit. Happy Easter my dear friend.
ReplyDeleteBetty-
DeleteAlways lifts my spirits to hear from you!! Your words soothe me--giving me extra special encouragement to keep pushing forward and telling the wicked one to "go sit on a tack and rotate!!" My Moma gave me those words a LONG time ago and I do use them, speaking them when I feel low......
Yes I really do want to visit with these young brave men and women~~~~being a set of ears and a open heart for them--anyone missing a limb suffers with Too many levels of Pain.
I don't know HOW to get this going--but my heart tells me to keep praying and LISTEN--it will come...
My Easter will be quiet--had more injections today--leg Pain just a throbbing... Step one, fall back a LOT---but always keep getting up and stepping!! all my love Dear Betty. I wish you and the family a blessed Easter.
Love, martha
Thanks for coming over to my blog which has no posts except the Easter Card. I haven't been around blogs too. I miss reading from here but I am glad that when I go to Pam's I read your words and somehow I get updates of you.
ReplyDeleteI wrote this in reply to your comment in my Easter Card post:
"There is not a day that I don't think of you. My crochet frame faces me while I am facing the monitor in my office. I always remember how the angels are watching over me and I know one of them is YOU!
Keep knowing that I always whisper my prayers for you each time I look up to the Creator and perfecter of our life.
Sorry too that I can't always look in on blogs... but I always am updated when you go to Pam's blog.
HUgs to you, my Martha."
And..... I wish you all the joy you could find, even in simple unbidden moments, like when you think about others. I know that of you. You always think of people's concerns over yours, even in the worst of pain.
I believe you are a comforter too, my dear. Your prayers breathed out for others is a special ministry.
I am with you in my prayers and wishes. Blessings to you and to Matt.
Hello Lolita!!
DeleteSeeing your name pop up just lifted my heart and helped me so much~~as I type my reply to you, we are having a BIG Spring Thunderstorm~~~lightning, rain, high winds and of course,
Thunder!! A storm like this wreaks havoc with my Pain and it keeps rising until the Storm passes..... Nothing like it--nothing......
Your words bring me such comfort---I know you keep me in your prayers and I am truly blessed to have your prayers--my TWO new Pains are making the battle much harder but I will not give up. This life is precious and regardless of Pain,I want to be fully present, sharing moments with my dear husband and having the chance to meet such wonderful women as I have in a loving Circle of Friends...
God bless you my dear friend, and we will never lose contact. all my love,martha