Slowing Down together~~~

Loving on my Daddy~

This looks like a good photo~~but tough decisions lay ahead for both of us-Illness had taken a toll on Daddy and I was dealing with a Burning Leg,  as new words entered the picture- Slow Down~~ neither of us cared for the words because we both knew they held life changes for us.  

 Daddy told me "Now Trouble-you have just One Speed-FAST" he loved calling me Trouble- grinning with delight and it was a loving Term of Endearment!  He taught me lessons about working hard, doing a Good Job and Never stopping until it was completed. 

  No job was too hard for me-as I finished tasks quickly, being my Dad's Girl, it was natural for me to share his work ethics.  Having grown up on a ranch, I loved walking with him-my tiny legs moving fast and I learned to grab his hand and hang on!  He shared stories with me~~things he did as a child-I stored it all in my heart, knowing I would never forget these moments together.

Years flew by~~as the message of Slow Down loomed over both of us- I saw him facing age and serious illness, we both seemed to sense what lay ahead.  I struggled to deliver the news~~ forcing the words out- "Assisted Living Center" he sat in a wheelchair-not making a single move,  Anger and Sadness flew from his eyes to me!

We began a Verbal Dance-me explaining why he had to leave home, Moma had passed on,  his health condition was serious~~this was strange territory for both of us~~ anger-filled challenges were thrown  at me-saying he could manage~~ He was a grown man who knew how to cook, turn the heater on to stay warm~~Anger was boiling in his eyes~~ arms folded so Tight-waiting for my next words, his frail body 

clinging to hope that no longer existed.

My heart was crumbling~ I sensed a need to Slow Down and be the Adult-not a loving Daughter who wanted to run away from this terrible moment.  Two hours passed with both of us fighting the End Result.   Home now felt empty~~he sat in Stone Silence-never taking his eyes from me, but suddenly turned  to Soak in One final Memory of Home~~I will never forget this awful moment.  

 He turned around to face me, and I could see him struggling for inner strength to say the words he hated- "Okay Trouble, Lets get out of Here, Now."  Nothing could fill the empty spot in our hearts~~we had to Accept it and keep going!  He slowly adjusted to his New Home and we had many wonderful visits, as we shared Pain Days-joking about who hurt the most, and always cherishing our time together. 

One more lesson came from Daddy during a phone call as I was on the way to get Injections to help ease my Pain-we laughed a bit, just talking~~when he suddenly grew quiet, searching for his words:

"Trouble-I think You are Gonna have that Old Leg Pain for the Rest of your Life-so you remember to be Strong"the words stinging as they settled in my heart.  He was being a Dad, trying to reach a Daughter who carried a big piece of his fierce determination!  I promised to call him later but a phone call came as we arrived home, urgent words pouring from my Sister~~

"Daddy is waiting for You to get here, He won't Let Go Until He sees You, Please Hurry!"  

The ride was fast-my heart breaking for what lay ahead~~ I walked into his room, sat beside him~~~"Daddy, Its Trouble!  I am here now, its okay to go.  I love You.  Please say Hi to Moma for me."  Peace seemed to fill the room, his labored breathing slowed down, as tears gently ran down his cheeks.  I kissed him Goodbye and knew-those tears were His Goodbye to me.  

Calvert H. Combs, Born Nov. 07th, 1920.  Passed April 21, 2003

Thank you for letting me share~~ I praise God for giving me this wonderful man I call Daddy.

Martha