Thursday, November 29, 2012

What to do when the roles are reversed?

For sixteen long years, My dear Husband has been the one watching over me~~keeping a close watch at the most serious times-sitting by my hospital bed as I fought to stay alive, watching me struggle to find my way back to life, and holding me in his arms as I grieve the loss of so many things I loved and had to give up.

I really don't know what happened when 2012 arrived, but I can say its been one for the books and Matt has been smack dab in the middle of sudden health problems~~some that send a chill down your spine as you fear Cancer might be getting ready to show up.  We have held on to each other~~praying to God for tests to come back with good news and no sign of Cancer~~joyous when we heard from the doctor and knew we could breathe again-No sign of Cancer.  

Suddenly Matt seemed to have one disaster after the other-breaking bones, terrible cuts that needed fast stitching, intense Back Pain resulting in a Blown Disc-and now Kidney problems.  I have felt the fears-standing by his hospital bed, waiting for him to recover from surgery~~watching him suffer with Pain~~suddenly realizing he was now part of that group-a person who must live with Pain.  He is not having to deal with constant Pain but when it shows up~~his suffering is terrible and I feel very lost.

Tonight my very organized husband was typing in all his latest health problems-showing me the Computer Site he had created for both of us~~but I didn't want to be reminded of this-and my words came rolling out
"I don't know what to do-its always Me who is sick"-we stood together, silence surrounding us~~holding tight to each other as we worked to understand that Aging was getting our attention too.  Those words that I have clung to throughout our 37 years of marriage came tumbling out of me~~~~~

                     "Matt-you are my Rock!  None of this should be happening to you!"

 He has always been the wiser one in our marriage and knew it was vital for me to understand his words~
                        "Your Rock now has a Crack in it-and you will help me just like I help you!

 The words stung but I held his message tight, realizing nothing is perfect in life, there will be bumpy times in marriage ~~but Love & Faith will take us all the way.

God bless all who are suffering and struggling-remember I am praying for you always.  martha

4 comments:

  1. Oh, Martha...I can hear your pain for Matt, your fears for him...and you...

    God gave you to each other for a reason. You have come through so much TOGETHER. That's more than most people can say. And you will get through health issues together as well.

    1 Corth. 13:7 says, "(Love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

    Together you will protect each other, trust each other to be there for each other, together hope for the best God has to offer, and mor importantly you will persevere together!

    Together is such a comforting word. And together you will face each step of your journey.

    How blessed you are!

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    Replies
    1. Diane-
      BLess you for sending me words I needed~~ the best of them being
      TOGETHER!!!! You are right-we have walked a long journey Together and with God's loving grace, our feet will stay firmly planted
      together as we follow HIS path for us.

      Its odd how rapidly we are now adjusting from Matt to me~~I was in an MRI exam last night for over an hour! Not fun at all~~~but I have started having a lot of shoulder pain and of course my bad leg is giving out on me-but there sat Matt, patiently waiting for me~~he was not feeling well but quietly waited for me.

      I feel so blessed to have this wonderful man in my life~~~and its probably healthy that I allowed these fears to surface.

      Thank you as always for the words of comfort, assuring reminder of Scripture-letting me know the LORD is here with us both. My prayers are there for you too.

      BLessings to you my friend!! martha

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    2. Oh, Gosh. I'm sorry to hear about your shoulder. MRI for an hour! When do you find out the results? Rest well tonight, dear friend.

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    3. Well I should know something next week. Its the result of being in THREE car accidents within a few months of each other. On one wreck, I was sitting on a pillow and the seatbelt was stretched far out (not giving me proper protection) and we think thats when the shoulder problem started.

      I did a lot of Praying while in that machine~~~I hate those enclosed places and I was amazed at how relaxed I felt. God was right there beside me. Thank you for caring Diane. I tell you~~it feels like a hospital around here at the Herden house right now!!!

      God bless and HUGS! martha

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