We were so young-both of us beaming in this photo taken over 37 years ago as Matt had completed his time in the Police Academy and would be "hitting the streets" the next day. At this moment, I had no fear of anything happening to him-although he had spent much time giving me a detailed description of how I would receive the news if he were to be killed while on duty. It sounds strange but you either allow the Fear to chew you apart or make the decision to move ahead in life and Pray each day for him to come home safe to me.
Within a few months of this photo being taken, a well-known Detective was killed when he approached the home of a man who was high on pills and shots rang out, as one of the "Brotherhood of Blue" fell. I can recall that terrible Fear grow inside me because suddenly everything was very real. Matt didn't talk much about his work-to this very day he can be talking to somebody about his time on the department and an old memory will surface as he shares it. I sit silent-thinking "Well you never told me about that happening" as Matt will look at me and say nothing~I am reminded of his love for me, and how he did everything possible to protect me from the parts of life that he wished nobody would have to see.
We were all united-regular parties, family outings~~we cherished these moments, but sadness came as another officer fell in the line of Duty~~the heartache one feels at the funeral is beyond description. You stand in silence, seeing a wife, children begging for their Daddy to come back. Officers lower their heads to hide tears of sorrow. We prayed and lifted each other up-while each wife would be saying a silent prayer "Please God, don't ever let this happen to my husband" and we moved on.
I am so proud of the time my husband spent serving as a Police Officer and Robbery Detective~~He did his time and served with true dedication. There is no longing in him for those days passed~~when he retired, the uniform was tucked away in the closet and he hasn't looked back. We aren't these two young people anymore-life has aged us-and we have been hit with deep heartbreak~~ but we keep going and cling tightly to each other and ask the Lord to take care of us.
If you have the chance to see a Police Officer-take a second and just tell him or her "Thank you" they will hear your words and store them up when they must face the bad times each officer deals with.
God bless all our Men and Women in Uniform.
Martha
Love this post Martha...it's the real life of those who serve to keep us safe.
ReplyDeleteAce has had to do that very thing too. We sign a lot of papers when we go over seas to these developing countries. Because Ace has always been a little high risk because of his heart condition we have had to talk over, do we just get buried in the country we die in. There was no embalming where we lived to preserve the body for days or refridge to keep it in, so we needed to make sure even our families knew what we would do. In Bolivia there were threats of the Shiny Path coming across the border into Bolivia...in Papua New Guinea it was simple things such as malaria, flying into remote sometimes dangerous places. I so understand the fear...I can tell you without God filling my heart with the knowledge I would have lived in fear and ruined our time helping others in these countries. I am sure you can say the same thing...I wouldn't trade it for anything.
How wise of Joe to not tell you everything for us it was different I had to know everything just because people dependant on me. Fear from any source is paralizing. Thank God Joe was willing to lay his life on the line for all...thank God you and other wives lay their life on the line too...you give us some of the security that comes with your mates job.
I love the picture...you guys are so cute...great post sister.
Betty-
DeleteYou always touch my heart~~helping me to learn NEW things--the risk that both you and Ace were so willing to take~~serving as "Disciples" to spread the love of Jesus and yet knowing how you had to "PLAN" to the full detail in case something happened to either one of you!! That my dear friend-is laying all on the line for the good LORD!!! I am humbled to know you both~~~without question heavy prices were paid by you... Jesus smiles down on both of you, all the time....
Matt was a dang good Police Officer-He served and never had a bad report on his record that I know of. Even pushed it further by becoming a Hostage Negotiator-- something I was NOT thrilled about but supported. It was part of the package and I have described his being a Police officer as to us having an "extra wife of sorts" in our union!! Simply put~~~I knew very early into his career that if I fought against his work, the results might not be good. Out of a class of almost 40 officers, I think we and one other couple are the ONLY ones to stay married.
I was determined to never let that happen. Guess that stubborn head of mine was working early!!!!
Thank you for calling us CUTE!! I loved the photo!!!
(((precious hugs and blessings my dear Betty)))martha
Martha, I just wanted to add to my comment back to you on my blog yesterday about the song "Always..." and what you shared of feeling down...
ReplyDeleteI mentioned how the song was so much a part of the movie, the Lou Gehrig story. I was thinking of him, how he suddenly developed that horrible disease in his prime...one that later took his name...and how his wife loved him, took care of his every need as it debilitated him. This wasn't in the movie, but knowing how that disease robs every function eventually, I know she kept him going with her love, and that she took her vows as your husband, never regretting or not wanting to because it was too burdensome. Because of love. Rest in the love of your husband, a true gift of the Lord, and knowing you are one in it all... because He loves you and gives love to you both for each other. Another beautiful thing that song reminds me of... My dad felt that way about my mom too...
Pam-
DeleteThank you for sharing this with me! When you spoke of the way your Dad felt about your Mom-it hit me instantly as a reminder of how both my parents were to each other. Almost is if "The right hand knew what the Left hand needed~~no question required" and you are right-it is an ultimate expression of LOVE.
I got so very LUCKY-as my sweet husband and I shared this morning about the changes we have been through~~he asked me "Would you be any different in standing by me if all this had happened to me?"
We both spoke the answer in a sweet union "YES!!" For me, this was truly a moment of "Smelling the Roses of life!"
thank you Pam for sharing with me. Each word helps.
God bless you. martha
Pam-
Deletewe laughed like crazy when the strong YES came out-my husband told me~~~ "Oh Lord, you would have run all the good doctors off" and he was right. I would be going crazy in trying to over-do the role of caretaker.
after all--my name is Martha!
That was one of the things I was thinking too... how you would have been his caretaker if things were reversed, and I know you would have been there just as he is for you...
DeleteLaughter is healing! :)
I love it that you "GOT IT" too Pam! Matt has back problems too and at some point today, it flared up! Suddenly Nurse Martha showed up and yes, I was there for him.
DeleteLaughter is very healing and after almost three very ROUGH weeks, I feel laughter flowing into my heart again.
Thank you God.
Bless you dear Pam.. martha
My very sentiment about you and Matt, Martha (I mean what is transpiring between you and Pam. I also added a little word at Pam's.
ReplyDeleteMartha, the picture is so so lovely, depicting your love and happy union. It shows on both you face.... it practically shines.
You got joy where you are in your marriage because joy is greater than happiness!
Love you, my friend and I bless you both with my warm wishes and prayers.
hi Lolita!!!
DeleteSorry to have missed you~~meaning dropping in on your Blog-the past three weeks have been a very ROUGH roller coaster ride! the Good Lord was simply waiting for me to come and Reach for HIS hand and I have done it~~ a good friend of mine talks about "Giving his problems to God and then trying to GRAB them back-not giving God the time to help!"
I love your comments on the JOY that shines in this photo~~~its US-and I am filled with gratitude as you give me this loving impression! Sometimes my battle with Pain can get so exhausting-I forget about the load Matt carries and God has such loving ways of bringing me back to where I need to be.
Matt has a bad back also--its been a LONG time since he had a flare-up and yesterday, BAM!! out of the blue it happened and he was in miserable PAIN. I jumped into action-Nurse Martha and was doing everything possible to help him. There was a moment when he was sleeping on the sofa, I was sitting and doing my Embroidery Work-and I looked up at him~~~my heart swelled at the realization of just how deeply I love him!!!
Thank you Lolita for reminding me about JOY!!!
blessings and hugs to you! martha
Somehow I missed commenting on this post.....love the picture...so good to live with someone who knows you so well and accepts it all. Great post Martha...
ReplyDeleteBetty-
DeleteMatt doesn't "Look" at my blog that much-only when I drag him into my office and have him sit in an old Rocking Chair I keep by my desk. I wanted him to see the PHOTO of us-he was stunned and kept saying "Oh my gosh, Who were those two kids? We were so YOUNG!"
Thank you for the loving words about Matt-and you are so right-he knows me so well-actually better than I know myself at times. His comment on that is "You will get it figured out Martha-we just have to WAIT for STUBBORN Martha to settle down!!" Again-right on the money!!!!
I treasure every comment you and others send my way! Maybe it sounds a bit weird but I feel like all I do is share the ups and downs of my Journey with Chronic Pain--and then LEARN such amazing lessons on walking the Path with God~~from all of YOU!!
HE has blessed me with a Special Group of Teachers!
Thank you Betty!!
((hugs and blessings)) martha