The Constant Changes that go with Chronic Pain~~

One thing about Chronic Pain a person can be sure of~~~something is always changing and requires us to either accept the changes and do the best we can to adjust-or keep ignoring them!  I call this "Sticking my Head in the Sand" and it does have a wicked way of catching up with me~~which sends me on a emotional roller coaster of frustration, anger, sadness, and finally Acceptance.

I have known since the fall that my left leg has bore the brunt of injuries~~always giving me a reminder of things I can't do~~have to be careful walking up and down steps.  If I make the mistake of taking this left leg and try to stride upwards on steps~~the Pain sends me a vicious Message "Have you lost your mind-this leg needs to be protected" and without question, I pay dearly for my mistake.

So much of me still longs to be the person I was "Before Tree Fall" and I have many days where I linger at this spot~~thinking about all I could do-and sorrow wraps around my heart as I think about my stupid decision on that fateful day!  This is where "Constant Changes" comes in~~God has blessed me with so much, and nothing good will come to wallow in a valley of "What Ifs"~~ So I choose to pull myself up from
sadness and keep moving-cherishing each day I am given. Its not always a joyful "Cherishing" but I keep trying.


I struggle just like anybody else would who faces this battle of living with Chronic Pain~~sometimes it feels as if I am like a small child~~having a "Terrible Twos Moment" because there is no place for me to run and hide from Pain.  Suddenly I find myself needing to carry a Cane with me~~the bad leg has its moments of just giving out-as I desperately try to balance on One Leg~~ its frightening to say the least!

They say "Pride goeth before the Fall" and lately it feels like I am being hit constantly with this reminder~
I can choose to either carry the Cane and put my Pride aside-or take the risk of falling because I was too
stubborn to accept "Another Change" in my journey with Chronic Pain.  Tonight as we attended Mass, my
Cane joined me-I sat in Silent turmoil, until I looked around and saw One Cane, than another, and another as people walked into church!  It hit me I was not the only person living with "Change" as I felt my heart ease and found my way to Prayer.

There will be many ups and downs as I walk this path with Pain- but I am learning to look around and "Smell the Roses"~~with God's Grace-I can accept the Constant Changes that will keep coming.

If I could offer a word of advice-be strong, and keep your heart open to His Love.

God be with all who are suffering.

martha