Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Constant Changes that go with Chronic Pain~~

One thing about Chronic Pain a person can be sure of~~~something is always changing and requires us to either accept the changes and do the best we can to adjust-or keep ignoring them!  I call this "Sticking my Head in the Sand" and it does have a wicked way of catching up with me~~which sends me on a emotional roller coaster of frustration, anger, sadness, and finally Acceptance.

I have known since the fall that my left leg has bore the brunt of injuries~~always giving me a reminder of things I can't do~~have to be careful walking up and down steps.  If I make the mistake of taking this left leg and try to stride upwards on steps~~the Pain sends me a vicious Message "Have you lost your mind-this leg needs to be protected" and without question, I pay dearly for my mistake.

So much of me still longs to be the person I was "Before Tree Fall" and I have many days where I linger at this spot~~thinking about all I could do-and sorrow wraps around my heart as I think about my stupid decision on that fateful day!  This is where "Constant Changes" comes in~~God has blessed me with so much, and nothing good will come to wallow in a valley of "What Ifs"~~ So I choose to pull myself up from
sadness and keep moving-cherishing each day I am given. Its not always a joyful "Cherishing" but I keep trying.


I struggle just like anybody else would who faces this battle of living with Chronic Pain~~sometimes it feels as if I am like a small child~~having a "Terrible Twos Moment" because there is no place for me to run and hide from Pain.  Suddenly I find myself needing to carry a Cane with me~~the bad leg has its moments of just giving out-as I desperately try to balance on One Leg~~ its frightening to say the least!

They say "Pride goeth before the Fall" and lately it feels like I am being hit constantly with this reminder~
I can choose to either carry the Cane and put my Pride aside-or take the risk of falling because I was too
stubborn to accept "Another Change" in my journey with Chronic Pain.  Tonight as we attended Mass, my
Cane joined me-I sat in Silent turmoil, until I looked around and saw One Cane, than another, and another as people walked into church!  It hit me I was not the only person living with "Change" as I felt my heart ease and found my way to Prayer.

There will be many ups and downs as I walk this path with Pain- but I am learning to look around and "Smell the Roses"~~with God's Grace-I can accept the Constant Changes that will keep coming.

If I could offer a word of advice-be strong, and keep your heart open to His Love.

God be with all who are suffering.

martha

4 comments:

  1. What a source of encouragement and strength you are, Martha! God bless YOU!

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    1. Diane-
      Well lets put it this way~~I might not be "taking a physical Fall" constantly but the emotional roller coaster falls~~thats a very different picture and one I must keep working at.

      I couldn't sleep last night-seemed like something was pulling at me~~like I needed to get my words out and see them-as I continue
      asking for God to help me face the tough days.

      HE heard everything I wrote-before I even thought about the words and I am so thankful to have HIS love!

      Your words mean so much to me! None of this is easy. But with God by my side, I will keep taking it a day at a time.

      Love and hugs, martha

      ~~~~hope gasoline and power has found its way to your area.

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  2. I agree with Diane, you are a source of encouragement Martha. Your constant battle with pain...your willingness to under go injection which tell how brave you are. Your wonderful stories about your soul mate and stories of your Mom and Dad...how blessed we are to have your words of wisdom. Thanks for being a honest to goodness woman of God, not perfect but who has a perfect God. Blessings

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    1. Betty-
      Well I had to pick myself up from the floor first~~
      "An Honest to Goodness Woman of God" oh my dear friend-please let me
      tell you that I send those words to you also!! All of the COF friends-and others, how your words help me at the time when I need them the most!! God opened this amazing door for me and its been such a lesson in love, sharing, understanding of others-all of you give me So much~~a cousin of mine recently found out I have a blog and she emailed me to say "Your Parents would be so proud of you for what you are doing!"

      All of me comes because of God-His love is forever and I will always hold tightly to HIS hand!

      Thank you sweet Betty for these words...

      God bless you and I send many HUGS your way. martha

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