Yes I had another long night of Pain~~the old familiar Butt Burn that runs all down my leg, and grabbing my foot-where the Burning Feeling can easily drive me to frustration, anger, and a sadness
I can't fully explain. Some might wonder- "why can't you explain this Burning Pain-surely you know
how it feels by now-so what gives?"
I am in a constant learning process with Pain~~~~it never stops, but brings changes I never expected and keeps me constantly making adjustments-plans to have an evening out suddenly must be changed
because of Pain. Today is a perfect example~~we had planned to take a short drive to enjoy a Fish Fry at a nearby church, but as time passed, I knew our plans would be cancelled.
As I delivered the news to my husband, he looked at me and started laughing--I stopped him and demanded to know what he found funny about me having to be the one who had to cancel a chance at
doing something simple. He paused and said "Martha- I knew this morning when I saw how you slowly moved around--we were not going anywhere tonight. If we do not laugh- all we will do is cry and it hurts to see you so sad!"
At that split second--it hit me~~~"Martha you are still learning" and although I do not like this long
term Lesson~~I can either choose to accept the Lesson and grow from it- or do nothing and keep hunting for a way to run from the Pain. After all these years of Pain--I have finally learned there
is No Place to run so I can be free of Pain.
The Lesson Continues~~~I pray for help to keep learning, and I pray for everyone who suffers with
Chronic Pain.
martha
One thing I can say, is how much Matt is so sensitive and how he knows everything about you through and through.... but never says a word before you do.
ReplyDeleteI pray for another day, perhaps unplanned, so that you can enjoy day-outs with Matt.