In my early years of learning to live with Chronic Pain-I was on a mission~came Hell or high water, somebody was going to find out what was wrong with me, fix it and and I could get back to my normal life. If only it could have been that simple, as I found out while making the massive round of visits with doctor after doctor~~one telling me "Well, its all in your imagination" and I recall sobbing hard as we left the building and not caring who saw me or what they thought, and I began to see the reaction of people as they saw me in Pain~~some had their own quick cure "Oh you need a good massage-that will fix you."
People were slinging doctor's cards at me~~I tried to listen as they told me of how their family member had been cured, all I had to do was see this doctor~~ everything would be okay. They turned away from me~~seeming to be in a rush, and I knew Suffering was showing on me.
Some dear friends reminded me that I did not use a Cane last year-now it is with me all the time! I needed those words of honesty~it helped me to see the need for Surgery. They looked at my Suffering and spoke words I needed to hear~~and they give a solid promise to Pray for me.
Yesterday I pushed myself to join friends for Christmas-they knew it was the last thing I wanted to do~~another friend was there-an older gentleman who suffers with Pain and it seems as if Pain is chewing him up, day by day. As we sat at the table~~I had my elbow propped on the table, holding my head up to ease the Pain-my eyes traveled toward my friend and there he sat-in the exact position as me. Nothing was said-sadly Pain was doing all the silent talking and it was not pretty!
He didn't stay long~~it hurt to see this gentle man in such pain, and I understood how bad we both must have looked. Its very hard to see Human Suffering and it can be very ugly-so please Pray for them and realize~~God will hear your prayers.
God be with my friend who is in the dark valley of Pain-help him please to find moments of peace. Please know I will always pray for all who must fight this battle.
Martha
Martha, your post hit home as I wrote about the same thing on my last blog post. I know Christmas is suppose to be a time of rejoicing and family gatherings but there is so much suffering in the world I just want to screen, Lord how long are you going to let this go on. Knowing your pain, I think you are exercising great "courage" to even try a gathering. This "suffereing" is only a taste of what our Lord suffered and He chose to do it for us. Brought it upon Himself for our sake. Your suffering is not in vane Martha...God never waste a thing. Something good will come out of it just as our salvation came out of Christ suffering. I think often of the verse, In this world you will have trials and suffering, in this world but glory not in the next.
ReplyDeleteI have been taking some therapy for my chronic pain and it has helped but Monday is my last day, our insureance will pay no more. So as I look at the future I know I will get back to experiencing more. Sunday and Monday I was in bad shape due to playing on the floor with my Grand children...could not get up and down because I got up and down too many times with them. So I am being a good girl this weekend and not doing those things, looking for other ways to play with them. I need to take a pain pill before they come and two after they leave, thank God for Naproxen.
I will lay prayers upon prayers for you my friend. Blessings
Betty-my heart aches at the thought of your not being able to get medication and I grow very weary of those faceless people playing GOD with all who must suffer with
DeleteChronic Pain. If only they could walk in our shoes for a full 24 hour day-something tells me they would be crawling for anybody to help them. I got another injection for my neck yesterday-all because of people at church giving me one of those "Neck Squeezes" a sign of love and they had no idea of this NEW major pain, along with the floating piece of Disc pushing against the nerve in my spine.
But yesterday morning-all of this seemed meaningless as I learned of the tragic death here in our community~~~a husband who fought battles we knew nothing of and finally could take no more. We will never know His Pain and I pray God forgives him and helps him find his way to PEACE. A wife and two children now grieve a loss that none want to see happen. I am still in shock---his wife was my son's first teacher. The memories have flooded back and forth in my heart and all I can do is pray, pray and pray again.
If only this world would STOP all the things they THINK are important and powerful--then realize we are NOT in control here-only the good Lord is.