Last December, while getting Christmas decorations ready to put on the tree, I suddenly turned, and a PAIN shot through my back and sent me straight to the ground! There was nothing I'd done in particular, except move, and that was all it took. So I began the process of calling my pain management doctor's office. I had absolutely NO clue what lay ahead. My insurance company has been complaining for YEARS about my NEED of epidural injections on a repeated basis and had begun denying approval for them.
As a person who lives with Chronic Pain, hearing news like this can take you to a LOW point, like you would never believe. I spent hours on the phone, crying in agony as I begged for help, all the while knowing the person on the other end of the phone was doing what she could, and all I could do was WAIT.
So I waited and had to make FOUR trips to the ER for ANY possible temporary relief of the PAIN. It seemed that ALL the medical profession understood my needs, but somehow along the PAPER process, I was getting LOST in the shuffle. It has been a type of cruel and unusual punishment of sorts to wait, wait and still wait.
After THREE long months, enduring PAIN that REFUSES to go away, I received a call telling me that insurance had finally granted approval–an answer to PRAYER. So many friends have told me how they had been praying for this to happen, then they'd ask me, "How have you managed to wait THIS long?"
What else can a person do but WAIT?
Oh, I have raged, had major melt-downs, felt so hopeless. Then I would just reach down LOW inside my soul and find the strength to NEVER give up. I would MAKE myself do anything...wash the dishes, fold clothes, walk outside for a moment...ANYTHING to stop the PAIN from winning.
So within the next two weeks, I hopefully will see my wonderful pain management doctor and get my TEMPORARY RELIEF shots. I know PAIN will never leave me, but I pray for grace to keep moving forward, even daring to DREAM of taking a brief trip with my husband and to find a moment of JOY.
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