Today was the end of a THREE-MONTH battle with insurance to get needed epidural shots to give me SOME relief. It should have been a happy day of sorts. But instead, all it seemed to bring was more battles. My pain management doctor had recently moved to a new location so my husband was rushing around as we hunted for an address. Long story short: we went to three different locations (one of them was STILL under construction) and KNEW the hunt was still on to find my doctor. It could have been a moment of laughter, but PAIN took even that small bit of relief away. I was very frustrated, feeling helpless, and not properly handling my OWN health care. Because exhaustion from NO sleep and constant PAIN caught up with me, I'd had to turn these issues over to him.
It did NOT help that–after arriving at the facility and signing all the papers–I was told, "You are patient No. 32!" I felt like someone had slapped me in the face! Instead of getting MAD, though, I forced myself to ask the young woman her name. I do feel that for a brief second, she got my message. It angered me and took a bit more of my self-esteem with it. But as I waited, my dear husband suggested an answer to the staff when my number was called. So an entire waiting room heard this:
"Patient #32–BINGO–that's ME!"
This was my single moment of JOY today. I walked in as a NUMBER but definitely came out as Martha.
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