I loved to play outside as a child, finding great joy in the Merry-Go-Round at school as I learned how to get on it, then holding on and feeling the wind flying by me! It was pure Joy-and I never wanted to stop twirling around but other kids wanted their turn and I would jump off, but stayed put so I could watch their
Joyful smiles as they played.
That was a long time ago-sometimes it feels like a thousand years have passed by me, especially since Falling from the Tree~~ now realization hits me each day as to my life being altered from the Fall and knowing things will never be the same again. Now I have a different Merry-Go-Round in my life- it does not bring Joy to me as I once felt, instead Constant Pain Circles around me, day in and day out.
I wonder-How will I keep fighting against this raging Pain? The answer comes like a cold slap in the face~~ I can either Fight regardless of how hard it gets, or simply give up and let the Pain take over. It feels as if something deep within me seems to stir-tugging at me to get attention-reminding me "Martha-take a good look at how far you have come in this Battle"- I reflect back on surgery, illness, Pain-a constant Round & Round process being repeated in my life. Yet at this moment, I can still find Joy and Peace in the simplest of things~~ and I go back, remembering the simple joy of a little girl flying round and round on a Merry-Go-Round as the wind was flying all around.
Childhood memories help me in the bad moments-and I know my battle is not one that I fight in solitude~ with each aching step I take, there is another set of Footprints walking beside me! God is there, and I am blessed with His Love.
God be with you, in the darkest moments. You are all in my prayers.
Martha
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