Its almost 5:00am-I sit staring at my Computer Screen, looking for some hidden reason as to why my Pain suddenly decided to go off the Charts! The house is quiet, my husband is sleeping-yet I am wide awake because Pain showed up a few hours ago, making me feel like a Giant Rubber Band is wrapped around my Body, as it squeezes every ounce of new-found Peace out of me.
Hmm-I call this "Living with Chronic Pain" and how I handle these "Nights" has a huge impact on the Pain-anger about the Pain will only cause my Stress level to rise and for whatever reason, Stress & Pain don't mix very well-as I slowly found out and now work to keep everything in perspective~~~
This Pain is here to stay, and I know there will be Good days and really Bad days.
Ouch!! Just typing these words hurt-its the Reality check that hits me hard and I find myself having moments of worry-will I be able to keep the battle going? The answer is easy~~Pain Won't Beat Me--I made a decision many years ago-Pain will Not take all of Me-no matter how hard the journey gets. Sure there will be times when I fall-but there is a deep resolve within me that urges me on-as I get back on my feet and push to find those moments of Joy!
Some might ask "So how do you cope with being in Pain all the time?" I turn to the Lord-knowing HE is watching over me and will never leave me. Moments come when I simply utter "Help me Lord" as I twist and turn, trying to move away from the Pain. Then a moment comes- as I realize the Pain has eased for a while and I am thankful, knowing my words for help were heard.
I look out my window, watching blessed Rains fall~~~and I am reminded of God's Promise~~~
"See! I will not forget you... I have carved you on the Palm of my Hand." Isaiah 49:15
You are in my prayers, I ask you to please keep me in yours.
God bless you all.
Martha
Hmm-I call this "Living with Chronic Pain" and how I handle these "Nights" has a huge impact on the Pain-anger about the Pain will only cause my Stress level to rise and for whatever reason, Stress & Pain don't mix very well-as I slowly found out and now work to keep everything in perspective~~~
This Pain is here to stay, and I know there will be Good days and really Bad days.
Ouch!! Just typing these words hurt-its the Reality check that hits me hard and I find myself having moments of worry-will I be able to keep the battle going? The answer is easy~~Pain Won't Beat Me--I made a decision many years ago-Pain will Not take all of Me-no matter how hard the journey gets. Sure there will be times when I fall-but there is a deep resolve within me that urges me on-as I get back on my feet and push to find those moments of Joy!
Some might ask "So how do you cope with being in Pain all the time?" I turn to the Lord-knowing HE is watching over me and will never leave me. Moments come when I simply utter "Help me Lord" as I twist and turn, trying to move away from the Pain. Then a moment comes- as I realize the Pain has eased for a while and I am thankful, knowing my words for help were heard.
I look out my window, watching blessed Rains fall~~~and I am reminded of God's Promise~~~
"See! I will not forget you... I have carved you on the Palm of my Hand." Isaiah 49:15
You are in my prayers, I ask you to please keep me in yours.
God bless you all.
Martha
Martha... I am sending a long prayer here for you but the system won't take it. So I am going to split it into several comments.
ReplyDeletePart 1:
Lord, no one knows Martha’s pain as much as you, because I know and believe you carried it for her on the cross, along with every other pain and sorrow the world would ever know. I am at a loss of words at all Martha is suffering. But all last night I kept waking with prayer for her on my lips like this:
That as I pray for her today, I am thinking of the words at Mass. “O Lord, only say the word and I will be healed. “ And you remind me of your words you spoke into your Psalmist David, to speak to us – to help us believe for what seems impossible. He wrote, “He sent forth his Word and healed me...” (Psalm 107:20). I love that promise because it is the answer to the prayer in Mass. How beautiful it is to me that you have already answered before we call. That promise tells me so much. It says you already say healing over us, over every pain that seems impossible. Just like you created the world with a word. You create healing with a word. You sent Jesus – the WORD – to take the curse on himself in our place. I pray the promise of Galatians 3:13,14 over Martha as I do for myself and so many – this wondrous gift that says Jesus took the curse of sickness, pain, disease described in Deuteronomy 28 in order to restore us to the blessing you promised Abraham in that same chapter. Lord, I thank you that the blessing now belongs to Martha, to each of us, because of all you did!
Part 2 of my prayer:
ReplyDeleteChrist have mercy on us, Christ have mercy on us... reminds me again, how you speak mercy and grace over us. That you commission us as you did the apostles with your authority. So I pray that you will move in Ephesians 3:20 beyond our imagination, nothing is impossible for God ways to make Martha’s body come into healing and function as you created it to. Lord, I thank you for your promises of healing that encourage and lift me in my own prayers everyday and now as I pray for Martha... Thank you for Matthew 8:17 that confirms what Isaiah wrote... Jesus you took up my infirmities and diseases and all of Martha’s and carried them for her and for me in our place. And by your wounds, we are healed. Another favorite I love is your word that tells us by the word of our testimony and the blood of the lamb, we are healed. Yes, Lord, I pray over all Martha’s nerve endings, every part of her body that has been misfiring all these years that this must come to a STOP in Jesus name and holy word. I love how she prayed that one night, and you did it! Now I pray it once and for all in Jesus name and word. I think of your wonderful promise that we can command the mountain into the sea... so in your Name Jesus, in your name Jehovah Rapha our God who is our healer, I command this affliction cast into the sea and never to return. And I pray your blood protection and deliverance over Martha, your beloved daughter whom you love! And over me even as I pray...
Even as I pray these words, Lord, you remind me of the woman with the 12 years of issue of blood. How horrific this must have been for her...especially in those days and culture when she would not have been allowed out of the house in all that pain and sorrow. What courage she had to press in and step out to touch your hem. And your beautiful words – Mark 5:34 – spoken as you did to everyone who came to you. I believe you gave them to us recorded here so we can know you speak them over us too.. So we can press in even now and “touch your hem” by your word. How beautiful that is. . So I declare your words of healing life over Martha too – “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering!.” I pray that you will make those words fall over her like a cloak of your peace right now.
Part 3 of my prayer:
ReplyDeleteLord, every time this pain strikes Martha with a vengeance, pour out your healing and delivering Word on her. Your word that says, the righteous cry out and the Lord hears them. He delivers them from all their troubles. (Ps 34:17). Your word that says her body can no longer continue working against her health because every word that goes out from your mouth will not return to you without accomplishing what you sent it out to do (Is 55:11) and Psalm 107:20 says you sent it to heal.
Like the Blessed Mother, “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.” (Luke 1:45) You word that says those who hope in you, and Martha does, will renew their strength! They will soar on wings like eagles! They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint! (Isaiah 40:31). I know how long and hard it has been for her, and hard to believe it can ever change. But that is why you give us friends to pray and hold each other up, and so I declare the truth of Isaiah 40:31 over Martha even before we see it come to be. Because you said it, Lord... I say, be it unto Martha as your word says. I pray the word you promised to Jeremiah and to all of us in Jer 33:6 – thank you Lord, that you promise to heal your people (and Martha is your people), to bring her health and healing and let her enjoy abundant peace and security. You will rebuild her as she was before. And all this will be to your glory so she can give testimony to the wonders of the God who loves us and sent his son to conquer the devourer.
Part 4 of my prayer:
ReplyDeleteEvery time Martha takes communion from now on, speak your healing word to her heart, O Lord. Whenever the pain is attacking, fill her mind with your words and desires for her health and wholeness. Thank you Lord for surrounding her with angels to lift her up (Ps 91), surrounding her with prayer when she is too weary... even as the friends who lifted their sick friend to you through the roof when that man could not get there on his own. We lift Martha to you, O Lord... and praise you even now you sing songs of deliverance over her. Hope... and believing what is not yet seen. I believe that for her and with her, in Jesus name. martha is a fighter, Lord... help her to pick up your sword which is your word (Ephesians 6) and stand her ground in you against the evil that would try to keep her in pain. The armor you gave us because in you, we are warriors of the holy kind, covered in your blood. Thank you Lord. Bless her and keep her in every moment.
Pam-
DeleteMy heart is still drinking in each word of Prayer you have offered up for me to be free of this Pain I live with. God Bless you for this amazing "Chain of Prayers" you whispered from deep inside your heart.
The thought just hit me to call this "Chain of Prayers" because you carefully gave me "Scripture from Above" that will stay with me and I will lean upon it.
Prayer is powerful-I have seen it work, and yet it is so very human to get upset if we think Prayers are not working for us. I know better than anyone exactly what happened to my body-and it took years for me to finally let go of saying "I am Sorry" understanding a very bad accident came my way. God didn't push me UP that Tree and HE didn't push me OUT of that tree!
But~~~~~ HIS Loving ARMS held me as I hit the ground-and HE continues holding me in that Loving Embrace as I battle with the Pain.
Yesterday morning I was laying on a table in my doctor's office, waiting to see her, hopefully for anything to give me a break in the Pain swirling around me. I suddenly thought about the numbers of people flowing in and out, having laid on this table and waited, waited for Relief.....
I grew up being told by my parents "God will never Give you More than you can Handle." There have been times when I cast my eyes upward and wondered "Okay God, is this the Best You can do?" Then it hitting me "Martha-HE is listening!" Which took me rapidly to Praying and telling God- "I am sorry" again.
My doctor has told me I am what she calls her "Success Patient" because I keep on fighting, in spite of the Pain. I always tell her "Well, thats a nice compliment, but all those other people sitting outside this room, waiting to see you--they ARE the Real Success STORY too!"
Bless you Pam, I pray HE keeps you surrounded by Love and I ask for the Path to open up for you-I ask God to show you the way to the Right Venue for you to share your Writing. I believe it will come.
But please know this-Every single Word You write Pam is a Victory-whether its in a book or on a Blog. When I started blogging-All I looked for was the hope it would start helping me release the inner frustrations I felt from Pain and if nobody dropped a comment-That was okay. I always pray that my words will strike a note in someone else who is in this battle against Chronic Pain and give them HOPE.
You my dear Pam--You sent me a Genuine BLESSING.
Love and Blessings for you always,martha
I wasn't sure what you would think, and hoped it would bless you. God kept speaking it into my thoughts in the middle of the night last night. Especially now some of those verses relate to Mass. I completely understand how hard it is to believe in healing or answers, when so much time has gone by and answers don't seem to come. But One thing I know for sure is that God is not looking at you and thinking, it was your fault Martha - I tried to warn you but you wouldn't listen so this is it. No, that is the type of lie Satan would want us to believe. And in the midst of pain or not feeling well, it is so hard to even think sometimes. I totally relate to that. I am trying to just pray scripture as much as possible lately because the word is God's perfect will. And I am finding more and more verses that say God wants us healthy. That he took it all on the cross to bring us blessing. It may not happen as quickly as we want, but I do believe that when we speak God's word it is like joining with his heart. I'm so blessed by ministers who teach the word and to put our names in verses like the ones I quoted. And when I just can't even think, then the most powerful prayer is just saying the name of Jesus. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. The most powerful name in all the world. I really believe that God wants healing for you... I still have some symptoms that resulted from treatments, and I just keep trying to confess I'm healed according to your word, Lord, even before I see it. To pray, thank you Lord that you healed me at the cross." And in Jesus name, commanding the mountain of misfunctioning things in my body to come back into the order God created it to be. Like the woman with the issue of blood... It's not a formula, but more just saying God no matter what things look like, I will trust your word is to heal me. Thank you so much for your encouraging words to me too. Yes, even if only one person is touched by what we write, then it is Victory. I heard this one last night in a ministry and I speak it as a promise over us both - 2 Kings 20:5 ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: "I have heard your prayer (Martha) and seen your tears; I will heal you." Blessings tonight as you sleep...
DeletePam-
DeleteYour words come from the heart and I am blessed by them. Its very difficult for people to truly understand all the pieces of PAIN a person must deal with on a daily basis. Yes we all would love to see a miracle cure-I have a dear friend who is in the midst of a Cancer nightmare; Bladder Cancer, which resulted in surgery to remove the Bladder and then everything that could happen-has hit her hard!!
She faces further surgery and as I speak with her-its not easy to find the "right" words-I have not walked in her shoes-all I can do is keep telling her how much she is loved and I am praying.
I have made huge strides in living with this Pain-but I too am human and when the body is weary, its very hard to keep finding
that inner resolve to push ahead. What I have learned is that its okay if I take "smaller steps" while in battle-meaning I don't have to push the mountain down, instead I can hold my ground and hold God's hand!!!
As with you-I don't truly understand all you have been through and have deep respect for your surviving and Thriving.. Now I will say this--if somebody would say to me after a sleepless night--"Well Martha, you are looking great!" I wouldn't say anything--but silently my heart is saying "Try spending 24 hours with Me and this Pain!"
I do understand falling out of a tree was just a terrible accident and I give thanks to God for sparing my life!! HE is with me and I will find the grace to put one foot in front of the other!
God bless.
martha
Dear Martha...good to read you believe falling from a tree was not a punishment for something you did. Accidents happen all the time to good Godly people. I have often wondered if there will be accidents in heaven but there will be on bad results from them, or we will be instantly healed. Me just thinking out of the box you understand.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I ever told you this but years ago I was hiking with our teen group at a camp, over stretched my stride they said and damaged my sciatic nerve. It was mis-dianogised for years until finally a doctor decided to go in with a needle into the scacrilliac joint and wouldn't you know it did not line up properly. Because it had been so long it was a permanant issue. I am pretty sure my pain is not as yours, I cannot tell weather with it, hehe. But it has kept me from doing any climbing, riding moto cycles, and a few other think I love. If I leave out my exercises for a while it hurts worst. Then in 2001 I begin to struggle with pain all over which made that pain worst, another friends came to visit me, fibermyalgia, came to stay.
People have prayed for me for years concerning my constant pain. I have very short periods when I am pain free...oh I have learn to cherish them. I don't really think I ever question the "why", for I believe with all my heart "in this world" we will have physcial, mental, emotional and any other kind of tribulation. That was set in Gen. at the fall. I am so aware of so many who struggle with bigger and more painful things. My ailments will not kill me like cancer or heart issues but just keep me from enjoying all the things I like. I feel so weak at times and have to come to understand that is not bad, for in my weakness He is made perfect. When I look back at all the years I have suffered to some degree I know God has used it to comform me into His image. He sure has His work cut out as He tries to teach this hard headed woman about grace. I am sure you could testify to this also. As Christ look toward the cross He also look beyond the cross and that is the lesson I keep coming back to. This old life is but for a season and we have the hope mentioned in every page of the Bible. He endured so we have strength to endure till he calls us home.
Love reading the prayer for you from Pam...how wonderful to have such a prayer warrior praying for you. I am so blessed to read how God is helping you put one foot before the other and read the weather. Blessings my courageous wise hearted friend. (forgive the mispelled words...I am in a hurry and wanted to get this send before I have to leave. by the way, Ace is doing so much better, we are traveling next week on a ministry trip...it's good to have him wanting to travel)
Betty-First things first!! I am THRILLED to hear you and Ace will be doing some traveling-Thank you God!! Just an FYI-if he gets Tired-its Okay to stop!!!
DeleteI always LOVE hearing from you dear Betty-reading your words makes me think of how stubborn I am and yet in this journey with Pain-the moments come when I must yield to being Humble-- (feeling a bit miffed) and yet some of the greatest lessons I learn during these times..
You are so right about others suffering far worse than we do-all I have to do is look around me-it only takes a few moments for God to put somebody in my line of view and I realize-"martha, you don't have it that bad."
But I am human and being in so much Pain lately is dang hard... I have to keep pushing back-because I refuse to give up.... Without question I know in my heart how precious the many prayers are that come my way via a Betty, a Pam, a Veronica, a Lolita, a Diane and many others-here is where i really feel blessings being heaped upon me.
It took me a LONG time to forgive myself for the fall~~ my dear husband tried for years to open my eyes to this fact and i finally got there one day...
I am sorry you had to go from Sciatica to the awful "Fibro-hurt all over" Pain. You said it all-Pain keeps us from many things we once enjoyed doing. All we can do now is keep our chin up, heart open, and enjoy the moments we are given!!
I love you dearly. Pam is a major Prayer Warrior! Another blessing.
Please take care of Both YOU & ACE!!!
(((hugs, hugs, hugs))) martha
One of the pitfall the enemy set for us is when we do look around and see others worst then us, we sometimes feel not so tough and then we fall into the "I am not spiritual" trap. I know this because I am the worst for falling into this pit. I so often feel like a wimp when I read your post...you are so honest and strong in your weakness...so focused on helping others. Your post bring me back to an even place exactly where God wants me to be.
ReplyDeleteIt does take a while to forgive ourselves doesn't it. I am getting better at it as the years speed past me. It's a major hurdle my friend and you are on the victory side of it. Blessings.
Betty-
DeleteI read your words and think "Now why would Betty feel the need to forgive herself?" My heart tells me I have been blessed with a wonderful Gift-her name is Betty! She has traveled to far parts of this world, working with the poorest of the poor-simply wanting to spread the Lord's name and help others to know HIM!!
So I think-Betty & Ace~~~ Two Spiritual soldiers, having walked tough paths in life so they could help others. Ace suffering this illness-realizing how the body could physically CARRY a part of a far away land back with him and it suddenly rise up, taking him to days of serious illness. But God is watching over you both!! And you now have all these "New Prayer Partners-COF" to be there for you--blessings Betty. Very Special Blessings.
I am deeply touched by your words-telling me as to how my words make you feel~~~ and my dear friend-I have lost Count of the moments in each day when I feel "Wimpy" as the Pain pounds away on my body. Then I give pause and remember, "Martha-you have gained precious Prayer Warriors in the COF friends!"
What a blessing for me dear Betty! God bless you for caring about me and saying such words of love!
Love and Prayers come your way from me! martha