You know Fun has flown out the door when its 3:00am and Pain is having a massive party with my Leg! This is how it goes-no way to get around it. The injection helped at first-as I have said, it took the Pain down to a manageable level, giving me room to breathe for a while. Its hard for people to understand Pain Injections-they should seem like a magical Cure of sorts, and for many who are suffering with Chronic Pain, there can be amazing results-they are the lucky ones.
I am not one of those people-years of Scar Tissue building up, choking my Sciatic Nerve so there is no relief in sight and Pain seems determined to get all of me. Last night my dear husband stayed "in the battle" with me, he rubbed my leg-never saying a word-it was obvious he was determined to hit the Nerve, hoping it would give me a few seconds of blessed relief!
But the Sciatic Nerve is crafty- there are moments when I can feel a Quick Ease of the Burn-but suddenly the Sciatic Nerve moves around-like its going into a special hiding spot-telling me "Let it go Martha-You know how things work." Finally we both gave up the battle, exhaustion settled in, allowing me a few precious hours of sleep, but it seemed Pain had been given a load of extra energy as I crawled out of bed-my leg throbbing and burning, almost a reaction of Anger being sent my way that we had dared mess with the Sciatic Nerve!
So I drug my body around today, refusing to let the Pain keep me down. But in all honesty-I did a pretty poor job of dragging around as I made feeble attempts to clean house, do laundry-having to stop numerous times so I could pull myself back into the Battle area. These are the days when I don't want to Fight back-
but as I sit at my desk and look up to see my words
hanging on the wall
~~~~~~~PAIN WON'T BEAT ME~~~~~~~~
I take a very deep breath, ask God to help me and then I keep moving. Its okay to have these days where
all we can do is drag around-but I refuse to let this Pain take me all the way down!
God be with all who are living with Chronic Pain, help them in the dark hours of Pain.
Martha
How you describe Sciatic Nerve makes me thing of it as alive. You make a funny story about it, Martha yet I know full well that it is dead serious PAIN face to face.
ReplyDeleteWhen some ease moments are felt, the head of Sciatica finds another way to wriggle out and be felt. That's the way I visualize it.
Anyway, I am glad Matt rubbed you down for there is something soothing about the act - love imparted, even if not totally relieving but it is called TLC. Isn't God gracious? He put Matt your side.
Blessings to you both in all the ways, grace and love of Christ showering. Yes, even in Pain. Hugs!!!!
Lolita-
DeleteBLess you for these comments-You really do SEE the picture I try to paint of my lovely Sciatic Nerve--and then to help Me see the other part of my Pain Photo--
It is Dead Serious-PAIN, face to face!!
As Matt was rubbing my leg, I asked him to pause for a second and said "How in the world did I get so lucky to find you?" Before he could say a word, I blurted out "Oh, I remember, I PRAYED hard for you!!"
Thank you Lolita-I am really having ROUGH days!!
martha
Yes, it's OK to have these days, Martha...
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you. Truly. I'm so sorry you suffer as you do. I don't really have adequate words...
...but, please know I care and say a prayer.
Diane-
DeleteYou know, Life is amazing-we think that mere words are not enough to offer as support and help to another who is suffering~~~
But you FOUND the perfect Word~~~ ADEQUATE~~~~~~
Its more than enough-and when PRAYER is added to this mix, well
all I can is "my Pain Cup Runneth Over!" Not trying to make fun of that phrase, but its my way of saying THANK YOU-every prayer, every Kind word-it adds to my Cup that is drained constantly by Pain.
This too shall pass.........
(((hugs)))
martha