How I wish somebody could see one of my Late Night Pain Routines-I know where all my needed Pain Support Items are at. I try to keep all lights turned off- I don't want to disturb my husband~~we have both learned the value of one of us getting some sleep. Yet when Pain has me in its worst grip, I manage to make enough noise--my husband wakes as we quietly share time together-fighting Pain.
Pain wakes me with no warning, just a silent demand on my body as I ease out of bed, already thinking of things to do so my mind can break away from this Constant battle. My Burning Leg hangs off my side of the bed, feeling like somebody put a match to it~~I give the leg a good shaking-trying to bring "feeling" back into it so I will not fall as I struggle out of bed. Then it hits me- within a few hours, the alarm will go off and its time for us to have an early morning visit to the Pain Clinic.
Today I saw another "Routine" that evolves around Pain~ I do a lot of "Pain Viewing" to keep a strong reminder going-people of all ages slowly enter the door, suffering written all over them~~a sad ache hits my heart to remind me-I am not alone in the struggle with Pain, and questions rose again, I can't put them aside~~~~~
1. Why does Chronic Pain take us from a late night of Pain to a early morning wait at the Pain Clinic-as we all sit-waiting and praying for any relief possible?
2. Why does Pain settle in on both young and old? I watched one weary Mother come in, holding a crying
baby-tugging at its ear~~the child was probably here for a set of ear tubes to be put in. The hospital arranges the Adult Surgical Ward to one side, leaving room for the Children's Surgical side--but everyone grimaces as we hear the wailing of a child.
3. Why must a older couple face Pain at the same time? One sits quietly, holding medical records, MRI films~~~and struggles from the chair, taking the records to the recepionist--Pain so evident on
her body, a slow walk is made back as she eases into the chair--I can see the look of suffering as she
is waiting for another day-when it will be her time to seek some relief from Pain.
4. Why must there be Pain Patients who simply can't be fixed? Seeking temporary Pain relief in this manner is all we have~~~it is a life-line which we cling to and pray our amazing Doctor will never leave us.
Today as the time came for me to get dressed and head for home, a new nurse checked my upper leg area out, making sure tape and heart monitors had all been removed~~she gasped, loud enough for me to hear and I ask "Well did something else go wrong on this leg?" The Silence around us is Painful-as she finds the courage to gently ask me "Why do you have so many Long Scars on your leg? I make it fast-no reason to drag all the surgical history out~~~"This is what can happen when you fall out of a tree-take my advice, Never climb up a tree!"
Keep the battle going against Pain-today I found Joy as I was wheeled out to our car~~the young man who assisted me to our car asked "Why are all of you in such a hurry to leave us?"
That answer came easy-"We want to go home so we can get some Sleep!"
Martha
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