Looking for Answers~~~

In the early days of Chronic Pain flying into my life-I racked my brain, trying to understand why my Leg was hurting so bad-feeling like somebody was constantly rubbing Sand Paper on the inside of my knee-and one toe after the other going Numb!  I ignored other parts of my body that had taken a beating from Falling-as new Pains kept showing up daily-with my Leg being the Victim.  No answers came as I settled into my new lifestyle- Constant Pain, Repeated nights of minimal sleep-as my body began showing me what Pain looked like.  I hated seeing dark circles under my eyes, forgetting to do simple things- I walked around in a zombie-like manner, and kept ignoring Pain!

There were many long nights of Pain pulling me from sleep and I would walk around the house, just walking-trying to Beat the Pain but not having a Clue in the world as to the Monster I now faced. Our front porch became a Massage table of sorts-as I devised a way of rocking back and forth, rolling on the Sciatic Nerve that runs under my Butt and I could feel a sudden Sting-meaning I had found the Nerve and it gave me seconds of Relief!  Strange thing to do, I lost count of how many nights I spent on that porch, acting as my own Doctor-with this weird Pain Relief Procedure.

Finally I could no longer ignore the Pain-so the Medical Search began-Doctor after Doctor, telling me 

"Its all in your Mind-just forget about it" or "We think you have M.S.-we think?" All the while, my restless nights continued, as I started sleeping on a Heating Pad-seeking relief that never came.  I recall 

one Doctor examining me and asking "How did you get these Burn Marks on your Back?"  My mind pondered for a few seconds and it hit me "Oh thats from sleeping on a Heating Pad" no further questions

came from him!  I stopped searching and began Praying-asking God to send a Doctor my way-one that cared enough to Fight the Battle With Me.

It took time, but my Prayer was answered- God brought me a Doctor who deals with Pain Management who was willing to take me on and stay the course with me!  She promised no miracle cure-but she saw
My fierce Determination- we fought together, through some of the darkest moments, and we will continue the Journey. She has stayed the course with me, as she looks for answers to ease my Pain-her job has not been easy- as she must deliver the Cold Reality of the long battle I will have with Pain.

Nothing about Chronic Pain is easy-not a dang thing is easy!  But I am determined Pain Won't Beat Me!  Perhaps this is the best answer I could hope to find~~~~

God be with each person suffering in Pain.  I pray for you.  Please pray for me.

martha