Sometimes it hurts to stop and Look~

When you live with Chronic Pain-seeing others in Pain happens more often than it did before Pain joined my life, and the images I see-are hard to face, and never leave my mind again.  People who know me see Pain in my eyes and slow walk but if I were to pass a stranger on the street, they probably wouldn't notice the Pain I carry each day.

Sometimes-it truly hurts to stop and look at another who is suffering-we have been given an all too painful and vivid image of Pain and Suffering at its worst: the Theatre Shooting in Colorado,  I have been glued to the screen, listening to details that make no sense-lives cut short, families filled with loss.  We are quick to offer prayers-as we feel so helpless in these horrible events- all we can do is ask God to lift all the hurt up and hold it tightly to His loving Heart.

We got away from  home today-just a quick run to get some groceries, and to also give me a few minutes of rest-Yes my friend Pain really has been on a Run today, stomping me into quiet submission- nothing will get my mind away from the hurting.  So Matt watched as I went one direction in the store, him the other so we can shop quickly and get out of the all too busy store.  I climbed into our truck, wanting nothing more than to get home and pray for this Pain to ease just a tiny bit.

But God gave us both an image that hurt to see-I didn't notice the man, but heard Matt say "Heh, you saw him didn't you?  You always see somebody in Pain-oh my God, it looks like that man can barely draw a breath!"  We were pulling away and I turned-there he was, an older man-slumped over his basket, and truly making every effort to "Suck some Air in to his Lungs" because he was past gasping, all he could do was pant.  Matt stopped, ready to get out and offer help but another man had reached him, as I watched them talk.  

Courage, Determination, Pride-call it what you want, the old man gently waved off any offer of help, taking one or two steps, stopping to find Air and then beginning his painful walk over and over.  He didn't want to admit his need for help-perhaps getting out to the grocery store was one of the few things left that he could do.  That man was giving Pain a Fight-struggling against all odds to find his way, by himself.  I have a strong feeling there was an Extra pair of Footprints walking beside him!  God was there- I could sense it!  Just as I do on my worst days-I know He is with me, helping me find my steps!


There is no way I can ever fully understand what that man goes through each day, struggling to find a breath of fresh air, and I am coming to understand this is part of the Pain Package.  Our friends want to help, offer us new ideas of medical treatment, and give us the best blessing-keeping us in their Prayers.  Maybe Chronic Pain has this strange Two-Way Path~~  We suffer with Pain, those who care for us Suffer as they stand by, feeling helpless. 

I am grateful for anybody who says a Prayer for me!!  Please know, I also pray for you.

Bless you.

martha