I had to catch one of my fellow church members yesterday to let him know the Oral History Interview Tape we did was ready for him to view and offer any suggestions of changes. My mind was not on how I look-the answer is well-known, probably explains why I don't look in the mirror that much! Mornings are the worst "Face of Pain" nothing pretty about it, and I feel like a dozen more Wrinkles found their way onto my face during my nightly battle with Pain.
As I reached for the Truck Keys, dear husband stepped up in his protective way and said "Martha-do you really want to go down to the church? You sure look tired this morning!" His words sunk in, but I refused to allow Pain any victory-instead I grabbed my sunglasses, smoothed my wrinkled hair and said "Okay-do you think I will pass now for everybody who sees me?"
After 37 years of marriage, he knew it was best to Agree with Martha-a gentle smile spread across his face as he said , "Well, be Nice and hurry back!" That man had No idea of how much he did for me in speaking those few words! He could have run this errand for me-but realized I had the inner strength to venture out-no matter how bad I looked. So off to church I went, walking in with Sunglasses on, sudden glances coming my way as I found the young Man and sat down for a quick conversation with him. I took the glasses off-there was no need to hide as I heard him ask "Did you get Any Rest last Night?" As I glanced toward the floor-fighting for a joking answer, he said "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
We both knew the answer to his caring question-I took a second to find my voice- "This is my Path to walk-I live with Pain, just offer up a prayer for me now and then, that will be fine!" It was a special moment, we made arrangements to meet later so he could see the Video and I walked out-wondering how many people did choose to "take a look at Pain."
I arrived back at home to find my husband standing in the same spot when I left-and I eased his fears-
"It was a Piece of Cake-nothing to it!" My moment of Joy comes today as I bake a Cake for his Birthday! After all-he is a Keeper~~~
God be with you-I pray He gives you courage to fight the battle of Chronic Pain. martha
A blessed birthday to HH!
ReplyDeleteI will pass the words on his way!
DeleteThanks for the BD wishes!
martha
Happy Birthday to your dear husband. Girl you are brave and have more courage then most. You took off those sunglasses and the young man saw your pain and you responded in exactly the right way. You have gained another prayer warrior. Nice post my sister, yes this is your path to walk but we can walk along beside you in prayer. Love you
ReplyDeleteBetty-
DeleteI don't know how you do it-but dear, you really touched my heart with these words!!
Having to "completely accept this Path" feels like I am being dragged through the mud by Pain-as I struggle to rise up each time.
For me to walk into that church, looking like "something the Cats just dragged in" (another saying of my Moma's) was HARD, but I knew there was a "extra set of Footprints" right beside me!
Your prayers are filled with God's love! How can I ever thank you for caring so much, to walk beside me-in prayer!!
Blessings and love your way Betty! martha
Oh, I would have enjoyed your Moma's company where I been around you. How I love all those analogies, imagery, humorous lines. You got yours from her, of course.... and with inputs from Papa and the grands.
Delete"Something the cat's just dragged in," and I can see the picture (not about you though) but the thing being dragged would be all smashed up. This is a nice exaggeration. I love her humor.
I am amazed at how humorous people thrived along difficult path. People who are humorless, in my opinion, are easy to fail and give up. But those peppered with a full doze of the medicine, cling and have hope all the time. Being able to laugh at difficult situations, is God-gifts and amazing.
Martha, I just wanted to savor your Moma's words, and I hope I will learn more..... I told myself, wow I could use that.
Lolita-
DeleteMoma was something else!! She had grit, determination and a fiery temper if she thought Wrong was being done to another....
Feels like I have been given the gift of both my Mom & Dad's unique view of life! I just need a little extra ((( ))) these days as the Pain is beyond description. I see my Doctor tomorrow and all i can do is hope and pray-for anything to help break this cycle of Pain surrounding me...
love, martha
Yes, Martha. I saw the picture of your farm, and the distance to the church..... it would be quite a walk and you did it.
ReplyDeleteI echo, Betty, for such a brave step against pain and all. I feel so coward when I find you here, Martha. A little pain, and then I cower over a little walk and uphill climb from our place to the bus stop.
Go on girl, so proud of you and to bake a cake in all these, that is something.
My best and warm wishes for Matt's birthday. Such a caring husband deserves his cake too.
Lolita-
DeleteBless you for always sending words filled with understanding and caring!
I must admit-in these days of Pain-when it feels like Pain has stomped me down hard, it is tough to get BACK up and stand to face the battle! Yet you must make a uphill climb to reach the bus stop-and doing it with aches and pains--that is courage my dear Lolita!
Last night I told my dear Matt- "If there was a surgery to FIX this Pain, I would gladly run toward it!" God bless this man-he took my hand and told me "This is the hardest part Martha-Pain is not going to leave that damaged Leg of yours alone-you must hang in for the long haul!"
I looked at him and said between gritted teeth- "HAPPY BIRTHDAY-AGAIN!" We started LAUGHING----It was Delightful! Pain will NOT take my Faith in God away from me-ever! Love you dear girl.
martha