Monday, October 22, 2012

Living with Pain is Hard~~but not impossible!

This one comes hard-my thoughts swirl as I try to "ease the sound of my words"-as I explain what Pain means to me each day as I get up from sleep, waking to the Constant Burning Feeling in my Leg that Never Leaves!  I look in the mirror~~see the growing signs of Pain and rapidly turn away, because I can't erase Sixteen years of Chronic Pain!

 Living with Chronic Pain has become a process of continual acceptance~~ things that once came easy to me-putting a plant in the ground- now brings extra Pain as I kick dirt around and realize this was not a good idea.  I turn to see my husband, garden tools in hand~~rushing to help me, all I want to do is throw the stupid plant high into the air and call it a day.  I took a look at the plants-thinking "you don't stand a chance-so get in the ground, now!"

Gradually I manage to get three plants in the ground and feel Pride rising inside~ knowing I didn't give up~as I limp back to my chair on our porch and force my eyes to look past the Pain-so I can take in this beautiful place we call home!  Its a tiny Victory~~but I am learning each day to appreciate these times and store them in my heart!  

This is my life-Pain is here with me and it will always be a hard process~~there will be many ups and downs
as I fight this wicked enemy-but its not impossible to still find joy and laughter in the simple moments of life.

Each person who battles Chronic Pain has to walk their own path-finding ways to cope with this life-altering
Pain.  Please keep trying-I am praying hard for you!  Pray for me too!

Martha


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4 comments:

  1. Wise HeartedOctober 23, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    Love the phrase, "process of continual acceptance" , how very true those words are. All of us are in some process of continual acceptance over something. The process of our last move took about six months but I still long sometimes to know we would never move again. I know we will move again , maybe more then once.

    We are still in that process of continual acceptance of our son divorce and because there are children I don't think it will ever in.

    Good writing Martha, good words pouring from your spirit. Glad we are benefitting from your process, it's not wasted. Blessings.

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    1. UnknownOctober 23, 2012 at 1:24 PM

      Betty~~
      How you always are able to touch my heart with your words-I am deeply appreciative of such praise.

      All I do is let my heart "do the talking" and somehow the words come
      tumbling out.

      You are so right about all of us being in a "continual process of acceptance" as I think about how hard it must be to find peace in your new surroundings-wanting it to feel like HOME!!

      The ups, downs, losses, and heartbreak of our children~~ these I feel are the hardest. But when I pause and think about something
      happening to Matt or me~~~I just ask GOD to give us lots of time
      together!!!

      We have weathered many storms and smiled at the Rainbows, sobbed over the losses and we keep LAUGHING at the "silly moments-that can only make sense to the two of us!!"

      I have a strong feeling that rings very true for you and Ace!!!

      Thank you Betty for the love! It came at a needed time~~Pain is starting to ROAR again...

      all my love, martha

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  2. LOLITAOctober 26, 2012 at 11:27 PM

    And that cross up front is a beautiful reminder of Jesus' own pain and suffering for us.

    I celebrate your little victories, Martha. Your little triumphs is a sign that you are an "overcomer."

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    1. UnknownOctober 27, 2012 at 4:35 PM

      Yes Lolita-
      When we had the Rock work done-I wasn't completely "sure" about it being a Cross~~but after sitting down and taking a long look at it-
      letting my heart open to its beauty-I knew this was exactly as it should be~~

      Thank you for being there to help celebrate my "little victories" and I do like that term "OVERCOMER!!" I could hear my Daddy saying that!!

      Thank you for always being there Lolita!! its a joy to hear from you!

      ((major hugs))martha

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