Dancing-Before the Tree Fall
Matt would look at this photo and pause~~ recalling the joy we felt when dancing together! He always said he had Two left feet but not true, I just had to learn how to let Him lead when dancing instead of me wanting to take us all over the dance floor.
He would smile and say "Well look at us, shaking a leg~~ man we were young and having a blast!"
A moment of silence follows~~~~ we both love this photo-but know our dancing days are long gone-Pain is my dancing Partner now and it Drags me to Hell and back on a daily basis.
Two days ago a very stubborn Martha decided to help Dear Husband do some painting on our last stretch of fence that begged for a fresh coat of paint. We debated for a week about me helping~~ I had it all planned out-"Let me paint the Top rail-thats all I want to do, just let me try that!" He would argue back-telling me the outcome would not be a good one. I could see his eyes, a silent prayer being whispered in his heart "Dear God, please help my stubborn Wife get the message-don't let her do this!"
He also knew a fact I chose to ignore~~ This stretch of Fencing runs about 600 feet in length-nothing easy about this Painting Job, but here we stood~~~ Matt already painting~~seeming to move in a panic, offering excuses as to the Roller being too dry-not enough paint left, everything possible being said by him~~~ except the words to tell me "You will hurt from this- just Go back to the House!"
I managed to last about an hour~~the rest of the day went by with me slouched in my chair, dozing from exhaustion and aching like crazy! I sensed frustration in my husband~~as he turned to me and the words started flowing, hard ~~ "You don't understand what its like on my side of this-I can't stand to see you suffering and now you did something that will make everything worse!"
He was right-his words stung with Truth and it hit me that I don't like thinking what life is like "On his Side" as he sees me dragging around from being up all night as I fight Pain,begging for it to ease- the list goes on. His words were silent now~~ I reached for him and said "I am so sorry!"
I want my heart to be open for his words~~~ I know they are filled with Love.
God be with all who suffer the trials of Pain, may you find the courage to let go and reach for HIS hand.
martha
Wow Martha, thats a perspective that needs to be brought out more and more. Our mates and even children suffer with us in our pain...they feel for us which is why they warn us about over doing it. Hummmmm...I have heard those words before from my husband. How good to be loved by someone who understand the outcome of every little move we make.
ReplyDeleteGood post...good point...good husband...good wife...good God loving us. Blessings
Betty~~
DeleteI loved your comment and wanted to finish the "line" in a way I have heard before~~
Good post, good point, good husband, good wife, & Great God Almighty!!
Heard my Daddy say the last words so many times~ "Great God Almighty" and he never used in a bad way~~and I can see him smiling as he did each time he said this quote!!
Thank you for the compliments--I had to learn the "Hard Way" of the importance of listening to my husband and allowing his side of this Journey we walk together. I am not in his shoes--but I can report this man came walking inside about an hour ago and was BEAMING with JOY that he had completed the fence painting!
Bless him-soon as his words were out, he added "I know you didn't get to help me-but thats how it has to be" typical loving Matt, always doing his best to help lift me up!! I showed the posting to him last night and oh my--it was a delightful joy to watch his face, seeing that photo, and reading my words!!!
Its so important to "Hear my Husband's words."
Blessings to you dear betty.. martha
Hi, Martha!
ReplyDeleteI miss you and the others. I miss writing on my blog. Got a little load on my portable-prepaid-boradband.
That sure is a stunning photo of the dance floor. You look gorgeous and you got a pair of dancing legs. I hope you just look at the picture with remembering and that would give some fresh memories of the time you were able to conquer the dance floor with Matt. A happy reminiscence that would lift your spirit up and know you had some lovely time together back then.
And it is true, while you wanted much to be of help.... Matt on the other thinks of what it would cost you to do a lot of effort. He is such a dear and is always out to give you comfort.
Anyway, you tried and leave it a that. I understand how it is to be left off the chores, when our mind longs to do much, yet the body is not willing. Just obey, dear!
Blessings from here.
L O L I T A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deleteoh my dear, I had to spell your name out in a long way because you are missed by so many!!!!! Its hard to learn about something we all take for granted here in the states~~ we sit down, flip the computer on and never give a thought to not having such easy access.
If you had your own computer, would it be easier for you to get to the internet??
Thank you for this response~~ Matt saw the photo last night and I got the biggest kick out of watching his laughter, recalling how we "loved to shake a leg on the dance floor" and he was stunned that I had written about his point of view on my Pain and all we both go through.
He finished the fence about an hour ago and was so thrilled-almost having the joy of a little kid-who accomplished a huge task!!!
Yes-for me the struggle to step back and not do things will always be an up/down process for me. After all, I am my Daddy's girl and quitting never comes easy.
I loved hearing from you Lolita!!!! Sorry I haven't been at your site more often. But please know,you are always in my prayers and I think of you daily.
Love, martha