One right after the other-another early morning of Pain rousing me from much needed sleep, and I drag around the house, quiet as a mouse and think-"Well thank God Monday is almost here!" Some people tell me to stop going for the injections-all they do is buy me some time away from Pain~~I pause each time these words come my way, and then tell the person speaking to me- "I will take Five precious Minutes of Freedom from Pain"
As to the "Why" of me having such a lengthy flare-up with this burning Sciatica, there aren't a lot of possible answers. This is the way things are right now and I have hope-there have been times when it quietly settled down and I felt human again. One thing I am very proud of is my recent "Martha Beginner's Walking Class"-truly a struggle at first-just to walk a short distance to our gate, turn around and come back to our home-definitely baby steps but it felt glorious as I reached down deep inside and pulled my Determination to the surface!
This will probably always be a process of "Two Steps Forward, Eight Steps Backward" as my Walking Class must give pause for my body to heal from the injections before I start the slow steps again. Today I managed to get outside, doing some minor plant sprucing and taking in the beauty of a Fall Day here in Texas.
As I walked around the house in the dark hours before dawn's light began to show- I thought about the lyrics to the Song "Its Four in the Morning" a beautiful memory surfaced of dancing to this song with my husband-many years ago. Its danced as a Slow gentle Waltz-and I can still see us feeling the joy of being in each other's arms and thinking of nothing else but the music and our love for each other. Pain has taken most of the Dancing from us, but it will never touch Our Love-no matter the ups and downs of Life. We made a promise to each other over 37 years ago, standing before God and saying those words "In Sickness & in Health-Till Death do us Part!" My prayer is to grow old together, thanking God for each day we are given.
If I could give any advice to those who are suffering with Chronic Pain- "just do what works for you, but keep trying because Life Is Worth the Effort!
God be with all who are fighting this battle. I am praying for all of you. Martha
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