Well-Veronica has done it again! She captured "Martha" perfectly-standing on one of the most beautiful places in Central Texas-called "Enchanted Rock!" This perfect photo was taken by: David Longhorn dave. Great job, Dave!
I am proud to be holding up my "Pain Won't Beat Me" Motto-as I stand by it and probably repeat it a dozen times during the worst days of Pain. People see me on the bad days and sometimes comment "Well Your Pain can't be that bad-you are still walking" and my heart is silent, unable to find words to explain what I go through. But a day did arrive as I found a "different Voice of Sorts" to answer questions about my Pain. It happened at church one day, as I stood against a wall, rubbing my leg, trying so hard to make the Pain go away. A man saw me and commented "How bad is that Pain in your Leg?"
I suppose at that moment, all the years of Pain raging in my leg had caught up with me and I wanted to scream words back to this man but suddenly I remembered we were near a church office and I had seen a Hammer laying on a desk. In one swift move, I had grabbed that Hammer and started Beating my Leg with every fiber of my being! No words, just the Rapid Swinging of Hammer against Flesh-my Flesh and my brain was telling me "Stop Martha, you are just making it worse" but I didn't care-I was tired of the questions, tired of the Pain, tired of my body having to fight so hard against this Pain and all I wanted to do was make sure a Proper Answer was given to the man's question about my Pain.
My husband had stood nearby, shocked to see this scene unfolding but he did not stop me-He knew how deep my Frustration went! The room was deathly quiet and finally my poor leg had become numb from the Hammer-so I calmly put it away and then turned to the man, who stood with his eyes wide open-and said "Well-in answer to your question-this is exactly how BAD my Leg Hurts-it never stops and I live with it all the time."
He promised to never ask that question again, I thanked him and suddenly my Motto showed up-as I added, "But I can tell you one thing, Pain Won't Beat Me-Ever!" I have a feeling he believed my words. In that tiny room, God stood beside me and held me steady as I physically "Spoke" the Pain I live with. There is a "different" manner in which I think of that Hammer:
"If I had a Hammer, I'd Hammer in the Morning. I'd Hammer in the evening, All over this Land. I'd hammer out Danger, I'd hammer out Warning, I'd Hammer out Love between My Brothers and my Sisters, All over this Land.
God bless Veronica for helping me Find my Way to Stand on the Rock.
That is a very good Martha Shticks, holding up the Banner of Victory over Pain and the other hand holding the proverbial hammer.
ReplyDeleteA way to beat the Pain, my sister. That should hammer in the answers of those polite, others, mean questions. (The nerve of that woman who questioned your word about your pain! They don't have to say a word-even just to be polite).
You standing on the enchanted rock, reminds me of a woman Philippine hero, she is sculpted holding up a machete. She was one of the battle women who fought against the Spaniards.
This is beautiful, Veronica..... that really stands for all Martha is fighting for.... and for all the COF are fighting for too.... to our God!
Martha-
I do like the hammer rhyme you wrote.
Lolita-
DeleteIf you ever heard me SING-you would feel like running away but it gives me great joy to hear you liked my "If I had a Hammer" song.
My goodness-to compare me with a woman Philippine Hero--there are no words for me to find for how this touches me so. I am stunned to think of you linking me like that!!!
But I also loved your words of "Veronica's special Martha" as she indeed captured my true image as I battle against this Pain and I not only hold my Motto up just for me, but I lift it high in support for all the COF warriors who face this daily battle against Pain. God bless you Lolita-what a gift of words you have given to me.
Martha
I couldn't wait to open my computer this morning. I ran right to Pain Won't Beat Me to see if your Shtick was posted. YEAH!!!!! You did it girl!!! I'm proud of you!
ReplyDeleteThe Shtick is so perfectly Martha. Perfect!
And of course, the Shtick is you - so you. Veronica, that is your gifting - aside from the actually drawings - being able to capture the essence of a person's soul. You are so gifted. You should make this a business! Seriously.
Back to Martha: I can't believe you put the words to that song on the bottom. I used to sing that song when I was young. Wow...did that bring back memories.
And of course, your whole hammer story. This morning I didn't laugh at reading it though, as I have in the past. This morning, I was moved by the years of pent up frustration. Hopefully blogging helps relieve that now, because now you have a way to voice it all.
I love you, Martha! And if you don't mind, may I download your Shtick? I want to print it and hang it on my wall.
Love you, too, V!
Diane-
DeleteOh I was like a little girl last night, running to grab my husband, pulling him to my office and showing him "LOOK WHAT I DID!!!" Finally, Martha (with help of dear friends) was able to push past those negative thoughts of "I am so stupid" and instead, calmly found my way and got Veronica's amazing IMAGE of MARTHA posted and being able to share my true HAMMER story.
This "blogging world" has indeed been the greatest source of daily therapy for me. Yes there are days when I can't find a word to put down because Pain has risen up and is fighting like Heck to Push me off my ROCK and then walk all over my tired body.
Again-I continue to be amazed at ALL the things we have in common and it was joyful to learn "If I had a Hammer" was sung by you in your youthful days... It brought a lot of memories back to me also.
Veronica-I can't begin to express my gratitude for God opening doors so we could meet her and admire this TALENT she has-being able to "capture a person-perfectly" and then share it with the world. I agree about the BUSINESS-and my heart tells me, God has already prepared the pathway for her and it will just be a matter of time-and we will all say "I knew Veronica when she was just getting started with her GIFT-now she is known all over the world!"
Bless you Diane-My heart is full of love for you and everyone within the COF and beyond. Martha
Martha, I'm sooo proud to know you! This account is absolutely powerful and inspiring! That mean old pain messed with the wrong gal, I tell you what! And boy, can you write! How do you write beautifully like that in pain? God bless you always, my dear friend! You're one of my heroes! Love you forever!
ReplyDeleteVeronica-
DeleteTHANK YOU for the praise!!!! I feel like somebody just gave me a Diploma- "Martha finally passed Computer Skills Class A!!" It means so much to hear your words of praise for my HAMMER story and all I can say is when I saw my Pain Doctor a few days after this happened, I had to tell her about this and explain why she was seeing so many large Bruises! It was not a happy moment but She did say "Well,lets hope the Hammer stays Hid for a long time now!" It has.......
You ask "How do I write while being in such Pain?" The only answer I can give you is this: PAIN has taken a LOT from me, but it will never take my Heart-never!! My Heart is where I live, its where my words come from-its everything. You have given me such praise Veronica-and I can't begin to tell you how deeply this touches me!
You my dear friend-ah---what a JOURNEY is ahead of you-I believe this with all my heart! God is opening the path, allowing all your Current Shtick Figures to come marching out and then making sure there is plenty of room for all the "Figures yet to Come" so they can RUN along the Path, cheering and inviting everyone to "Come on out, Lets get to Know each other-why you might just find one of us who looks like IT belongs with you!"
God-I thank you for the "Shtick Blessings" you have given to Veronica and please watch over her, as she keeps moving along and shares her Faith and Talent with all who are still "waiting" to see the JOY each Figure brings!
Love always, Martha
Way to go, Martha, on all counts!!! Love your story and your new Shtick lady! You are one tough lady and my dear sister in life. Love you, sheryl P.S. Hi to Diane!! :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Sheryl!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the words-I needed them-and so happy you love my Shtick Lady.
Yes-what a blessing to have you as my SISTER too in this world!!!
love, Martha