The Mistake of ignoring Pain...

Being a grown woman with a logical head on my shoulders-tells me  I know after all the years of suffering about things I can't do, should not attempt to do, and even those where I should run away from quickly!  That last one has the strongest impact on my body and usually I stay away from that one, due to so many Pain-filled lessons learned when I cast the fear aside and tried to do one of those tasks I had put away and then paid the Price for trying again to be the Old Martha.

Chronic Pain has so many "Parts" attached to it- my Pain List is long: Burning Sciatica-which I do believe if I got near a pile of aged wood, all I would need do is simply Stand still, and with a snap of my fingers, the flames around my leg would reach out and start a big fire! One thing I keep learning is how different Pain is for each person-mine is no worse than someone else who is suffering-and many are suffering in total silence. That aspect is heart-breaking for me as I have been there and its a rough road to travel along.  

So you might be wondering, "well, what made you ignore Pain this time?"  Oh that answer is simple-its Spring time here in Central Texas and everything is blooming, including weeds that don't belong in a flower bed, over-grown plants that need pruning and all that was needed to this mix was a hard-headed woman who suffers with Chronic Pain and decided to get outside and work like I once did, trimming shrubs, lifting a large watering can, moving a rock out of way (small one-least I remembered to keep it small) and after two long days of this, my old friend Pain showed up and simply "Flattened Me!"  As I moaned and ached, all I could think was "Why did I make this mistake Again?"  Not too hard to figure the answer out, I still wanted to be Me again, but my actions put me in  my chair and I looked like a big truck had mowed me down!

As I was getting dressed this morning to attend church with my husband, all I could think was "This Pain Is Driving Me Nuts- I just want to stay Home" but pushed that thought aside and quickly got dressed.  As I dragged my body into our car, slamming the door behind me, I turned to ask dear husband "Well how do I look?"  God bless this man- I treasure his honesty as he looked at me with love and concern, saying 

"You know, I watched you walking out of the house and thought, My Wife is so pretty-and she would really glow if a Smile was on her face!"  His words were not meant to hurt me but they helped serve as my reminder of making the choice to Ignore my Pain and now the Price of doing it had to be paid.

For anybody who fights this battle of Chronic Pain in their lives, each one of us must find our way to accept the limitations Pain brings to each of us.  We don't have to Like this fact, but instead we each have to learn in our own time a way to acknowledge Pain being with us. None of this is easy-but for me, I choose to keep learning the lessons-because Pain Won't Beat Me-that fact is burned deep within me and I simply refuse to give up. As these last two days drew to a close, my Joy Moment showed up this morning-as I realized each time I moved,  the constant screaming of my muscles had eased. I took this "peace offering" and pray I will think twice before making this mistake again.

Keep looking upward, and know there will always be a Texas Prayer for you- from one who fights Pain every single day.