Well-let me answer my own question first- "Dear God, Please ease the exhaustion in my body, help me to feel better physically-and Thank You for being right beside me each night as I walk around the house!"
Even after so many years of being in Pain and having a ton of sleepless nights, I still wonder-am I doing something wrong-should I jump right back into that bed and just "wait it out" until the Sun comes Up? Nights like these can be very lonely-I know that my husband would wake up, grab a cup of coffee and sit with me as I ride through the waves of Pain-but he too needs rest and I try to "man up" as they say and get through it.
But I can tell when people see me-they must be thinking-"What the heck was she doing last night?" For most people who know me, they give me a silent caring look and know that Martha is having a rough spell with Pain again.
I wonder how others handle going without sleep and still function at a semi- normal level, all I can recall is missing sleep became a "Norm" for me and I just kept moving on. Now I will admit my "moving on" was not normal, but just a much slower version of the person I once was-before the Pain showed up.
What suggestions could I give for coping with Pain robbing precious Sleep from our bodies-well one thing I can say is a Five minute nap now feels as if I had been sleeping for hours and it gives me a little boost of which I am very much in need of.
Long story short-there are No easy answers for anybody out there-I have tried the sleep aids but those did not help-I would fall asleep quickly but the Pain was determined to drag me awake and so I stopped taking them. Be open with your doctor-have a true heart to heart conversation-and I really do pray they will listen to you! Just think about how easily when blogging, we are able to converse with people we haven't met face to face, but we share this common bond and it helps us, because we know the other person does understand what Chronic Pain really means.
So its taken me all day to post this blog-thats how fuzzy my brain was from no sleep-and now I am headed
to see if perhaps this night will bring me better sleep. Writing this post and actually finishing it-well that has been my Joy for the day. I will take it. God bless you all and keep looking up. Martha
Well, Martha, this is one more thing we have in common: sleeplessness.
ReplyDeleteFor many years, I did not fall into a deep sleep. Long story short, when all this went down with Alece three years ago, the doctor prescribed me Ambien. I took it every night for three years. Still didn't sleep all the way through the night but it did help during that most emotionally stressful time. I don't think I would have made it through without them. Even on the Ambien, though, I still did not go into deep sleep.
Finally, I went to a naturopathic doctor. She prescirbed progesterone to take before bed and if I wake up in the night. NOW, I'M entering deep sleep again - dreaming!!!! Yeah for the dreams!
I'm off the Ambien (I started doing some bizzare things in the night). But, I still do not sleep through the night. Now that I'm off, I realize that the Ambien did help with the neuropathy at night. So, now, if I don't fall off to sleep quick enough, the N just drives me nuts. I wake up so many times because the sheet is just too painful for me. Throughout the night, I have to manipulate my body into comfortable positions because of the N and the whatever is happing with my knee.
Some mornings, I wake up exhausted from TRYING SLEEP. I truly DO NOT look forward at the end of the day to climbing into bed. It's too much work during the night...
And I HAVE to nap during the day!
I thank God we pray for each other....
Diane-
ReplyDeleteYou Taught me a brand new expression about the loss of Sleep due to lovely Chronic Pain-as to trying to sleep at night when Pain is raging-
"ITS JUST TOO MUCH WORK!" I love it!!! OMG that hits HOME-these words just Glare with the honesty of how we struggle to sleep!
As you know, my experiences with Ambien were-well lets just remind each other "BLEACH ANYONE?"
Yes dear friend-Prayer is the ticket!! What a gift to give another person, especially when we care so much about each other and wish our suffering could just take a HIKE-without us!!!
I love you dearly. Martha
Hi Martha,
ReplyDeleteReading this post, I'm reminded of exhaustion and pain I've had for months following radiation. That treatment ended in Dec, but still affecting me. But the Lord has been helping me in a way I'd love to share with you. I read a book that has opened my eyes to the Word in a new way about walking in the covenant blessing that Jesus suffered and died to restore to us... the blessing of Abraham. In that book, the author spoke about how powerful speaking the word back to God is...rather than just praying "take this away," as I have so often. He explained that as we confess the Word as true in our bodies, God can move through the faith in what He did for us already. He showed how Jesus grafted us back into the "seed of Abraham" and as such, wants us to know that we can declare His word as truth over our bodies and see his healing touch more than we've ever known before. That we can stand on declaring the promise of Abraham as our own because Jesus is our High Priest and is administering it to us. Thank Him daily for His blessing moving in us, even before we see evidence of it - confessing by faith that we receive all He accomplished for us on the Cross. And now when I read the word like Ephesians and Colossians and Galatians, I see that written right there in the word. Anyway, I've been asking the Lord to cover me in His blood every night as I go to bed and every morning as I wake, to surround me in the covering of his blood poured out over me and in me and around me and between me and the Author of Evil. I then ask Him to pray for me even as I sleep (Jesus our intercessor) and to somehow make me pray even while I'm sleeping, especially His word, like declaring this truth as already done because he accomplished it on the cross and I accept and receive all He did for me on the cross: over and over as i fall asleep, I've been declaring and receiving the truth of this scripture promise, "Thank you Jesus that I'm already healed of this pain and exhaustion and restored to health because your Word says I'm healed by your wounds, Lord." So many times Ive woken up in the middle of the night and found myself praying that even as I wake up! (Is 53:5, Gal 3:13) Also, "Thank you Lord that by the wounds of the Lamb who was slain, and the word of my testimony, I am healed." (Revelations) Since Jesus conquered Satan at the cross, the Word says Satan is his footstool. It also says we have inherited this as true for us too in Jesus. And the blessing of Abraham includes health and restoration of vigor of youth. So that means pain is under our feet because of Jesus. I know that sounds too simple...but I have really seen God moving in delivering me from pain as I declare these truths these last months. Lately I've had a lot of pain in the back of my head and neck and sometimes excrutiating in bed for some reason, when you'd think it would go away. But as I pray this way, and declare his blood covering, his word is true whether I see it yet or not, etc. (Faith is believing what we yet don't see...) I am seeing Him giving me pain-free nights. I pray this over you too, Martha. Hope this encourages you... I think the Word is infused with the Holy Spirit and as we declare it, we allow God to move in ways we have not yet seen. I also declare the truths of Psalm 91 and whatever other verses the Lord leads me to that speak directly into my life... The exhaustion that has come on me is not as bad either as I am standing on the promise of Isaiah 40:31 - I will be renewed as in my youth and soar with the strength of the eagle. :) Hope this is clear, but if not, let's keep talking about it here in comments... :)
Pam-
DeleteI am thrilled to read your words and my heart is sad to hear you have walked through the valley of Radiation. The gal who was my Maid of Honor at our wedding over 37 years ago, shared with me recently about her journey and it was jaw-dropping for me to hear. The outlook is good for her but I learned its not as simple as one thinks-she will have life-long problems to always be on the lookout for and she also leans heavy on the Lord. During my years of Pain, She would tell me from time to time, as I was in such need of Prayers "My knees are worn out from being on the floor in prayer for you Martha-but you are worth it and I know you would do it for me!"
You truly inspire me to dig deeper into my Bible and learn as I can see the depth of your Spiritual knowledge. Diane is also of that same Gift and all I can do is learn! My faith runs DEEP- and there have been many times when I thought "I simply can't do this anymore God" and my husband would tell me "Martha-simply offer your Pain Up for others!" At first-I was NOT pleased with his words, but as I reflected upon them, My heart began to open and understand more.
Please continue to drop in, You are a teacher to say the least! One thing I do see the Lord is working with me is how I reach out to others, suffering and in much worse shape than me. This usually happens when I am at the Pain Clinic-a place that you can't shut out-Suffering is right there-fully thriving and my heart is stunned at what I see. These are my moments when I feel shame-for complaining and not suffering quietly. Life is a journey for all of us. God bless you for such amazing spiritual insight. I am blessed on this day. Thank you. Martha
Let us be praying for Martha today and in the days to come. She is undergoing a procdure this morning that will alleviate some of the butt-pain she experiences.
DeleteThank you, Lolita, for your words of Life!
And you, too, Pam!! Truly Words of Life. I must remember to do as you are doing. Sometimes, a dread comes over me knowing I have to lie down in bed soon. I KNOW that is the devil. I will now do as you do. Thank you, Dear Pam, for speaking The Truth!
My very prayer too, Martha and Diane.
ReplyDeleteThat is a wonderful way of phrasing it, Martha.
"Go PAIN AND SUFFERING, take your leave, and let Diane and Martha be!" In Jesus mighty and powerful Name. You have no business with them and the others in chronic pain included! Amen and Amen!
The grace of our loving Lord be upon you both with my love and my deep wishes.
Lolita-
DeleteGentle, sweet, delightful, and Powerful!!! I LOVE THIS post from you!!!
GO PAIN and SUFFERING, take your leave and let Diane and Martha Be!!!!
My dear Lolita-without doubt you have been heard!!!
Yes we pray for All who suffer-asking God to take away the misery.
Thank you dear Lolita-As I told Diane today, I will have all my COF friends in my heart-knowing many prayers are going out for me.
God bless you and keep that amazing VOICE of yours going. Martha
YES, Lolita! I agree with that prayer!! I will write more soon, Martha... need to get to bed. Yes, radiation has left me with some things I didn't realize would happen, but I am standing on God's promises to restore. I understand the idea of "offering up your sufferings," because it was part of the faith I was raised in. (Catholicism). I'm grateful for the foundation I learned growing up, but as I've read the word, God has shown me so much about prayer in His word (and praying the word) and through wonderful ministries that has made me see we need to pray what Lolita prayed. All this suffering is not of God... I am beginning to understand that Jesus wants us all to move in faith the way he did here on earth. For example... He told the storm Peace be still, rather than praying "Father please stop this storm." I used to think that was because He was God and could do anything, but now I'm seeing how he was also teaching us...this is how you speak to circumstances and put them in God's control. He spoke words of healing over those he ministered to. I think He wants us to speak His word of healing over our bodies and situations directly, and that was what he meant when he commissioned the apostles to go out and do greater works. It isn't that we are doing bigger things, but the volume should be increasing as we declare faith in what he says. Does that make sense? I am not greater than anyone else, just trying to seek God's word and listen to teaching that puts the word in my heart. One thing I may post about sometime (although I really don't want to talk about the cancer on my site) is something God has been showing me clearly: One day when I was referring to my cold, my sickness, my inability to do whatever, God seemed to speak into my heart. Why are you claiming pain and sickness and negatives as YOURS? Suddenly, I thought how true that is. In the world we all say "my disease" and that keeps speaking it into our bodies! When I got that "revelation" I realized God does not want us to claim bad things that are caused by Satan and evil that came into the world thru Adam and Eve's sin. He wants us to claim the victory that He won for us on the cross! And that means, I should not be saying "my cancer" etc. I should be saying "my healing" and "my restored health" etc. Once when the doctor called me "cancer free" a counselor came into the hospital room and tried to give me a binder of cancer stuff. She kept calling it "your cancer." I said "I'm cancer free." She said, "well it could come back." God has shown me, no - that is wrong and gives way to Satan to put it on me. No, he wants me to declare, "God has made me victorious over disease! In Jesus and by his wounds I am healed! "Satan get behind me, you are under my feet because of Jesus blood!" And to keep confessing that until I see the breakthru and even afterwards... because each time we confess His word and truth, He can use that to bring healing. I no longer believe we should offer our sufferings up for others as though we take it on ourselves. Because Jesus took it all. I hope this makes sense... Please let me know if you have questions and I'll happily keep talking :) Yes, Diane and I have studies similar ministries and that's why it sounds similar... I knew a lot of this before, but lately God is bringing it even more clearly to me through wonderful ministers teaching the word.
DeleteMartha...thought provoking post...so many common phrases ring in my heart as I read. How often I have ask the same question, now what did I do wrong today to set me up for a no sleep night? a night full of trying to get comfortable only to end up in the recliner so I will not keep ace awake. the person I once way really got to me...I have forgot who I once was. It was another life, one I could work, work, work and pull my self up by my boot straps until they got so worn, one day they broke. so very glad God's boot straps do not break...I am leaning heavily on them...counting on Him knowing when I need that super natural touch for the natural is frail and needy.
ReplyDeleteThere have been times I wish I had some kind of ailment that really showed on the outside... for if I have heard it once I have heard it a hundred times...fibermyalgia...now what is that??? (I hate explaining it) Really thought about getting a cane...should have had one of those village people over in PNG make me a snake one.
This is what your post do, they do not ask that question, they do not gloss over suffering, they only seek to give glory to the Lord. Bless you, bless you, bless you. This where I let my fraility hang out, this circle of friends. What a blessing when God puts someone in my path and she says, 'I have fibermyalgia' and I am able to encouraged that woman, I understand, I do too. Always they will say, "really", you do too...then they pour their hearts out and I am better for it. I leave those conversations encouraged. Just as I am leaving your post right now. Bye
Betty-
DeleteI had no plans to visit my computer tonight-as this was my heavy duty injection day and lets just say, the procedure has kicked my Boots OFF!! Rough-just plain Rough because I left here this morning on both my legs, I came home, having to drag my body around on a walker for a few days!
My husband made a comment the other day that HITS one of your thoughts squarely on the head! He said to me "Martha-people see you walking around, and they don't think anything is Wrong with you-because they don't live with you, they don't see how hard Pain pulls you down and never witness the tremendous struggle it takes for you to make it back up!"
I HEAR your words Betty-your heart is speaking and letting frustration flow-because it is TIRING to go through that explanation process-then seeing a person's eyes just gloss over and you know "Well that one didn't get it!" This is probably in one of my recent posts but I am sharing it with you-this last Sunday, a gentleman taps me and asks "Could you tell me what your Pain feels like?" Betty-I knew my heart was there in full view of the Lord, but there was a bit of me that wanted to get UP CLOSE with him as I said "Do you know what a cattle prod is?" yep he understood that- I said "The prod has a sharp burning to it, thats why a cow will move away from it fast! Now imagine that Burn being attached to your Butt, Leg and Foot-24 hours a day! How do you think that might feel?"
He was silent-and i knew-my words had reached him. It was not meant to strike out-but there are times when all we can do is give the most VIVID image possible. Your words have blessed me Betty-if a single word of mine helps you-even for a second-my day is blessed, because it helps me to understand, I am not alone in my suffering-God has brought a Betty, Diane, Judi, Veronica, Lolita, Pam-and so many others to my life-and it does give me the extra courage to reach hard for God's Bootstraps!!!!
I love you Betty-keep going and then just slow down and do nothing. You are a special woman. Martha
Praying for you today, Martha... may His arms hold you. May His Spirit send a comforting word to your heart just for you.
ReplyDeletePam-
Deletethank you for the prayers. HE was with me during this tough procedure and now I have to rest up. Have two more of these to go in order to send a Severe Message to the Sciatic Nerve-GIVE MARTHA A BREAK!!!
God bless. Martha
Praying for you Martha...not sure what proceedure you had but I pray in Jesus name it will give you relief that will last till He shout and takes us home.
ReplyDeleteBetty-
DeleteWell how do i describe my injections-lets just say you got to be up for some TORTURE-basic treatment is to go deep to the Sciatic Nerve, hit it with some special medications and get it to BE QUIET-so the burning will stop! The burning in my butt, leg and foot is happening because my Sciatic Nerve has Scar Tissue wrapped all around it. I have had several surgeries but the scar tissue only gets worse when this is done.
So I have to take it very easy for a few days-as I feel like a TRUCK hit me... But dear Betty-to know you thought of me and had me in your prayers-what a blessing you send me..
Hang in there Betty-I am praying for you too. Love, martha