Sunday, August 19, 2012

Describing Chronic Pain-which word fits it best?

I have spent hours writing about Chronic Pain-describing where it hurts, how much it hurts-you get the idea.
Somewhere along the line, I simply got Tired of reaching for the perfect Word to describe Pain.  There are many words I can't share-those came in the early days of the Pain Game-I cursed this unseen enemy that pulled me down in ways I never dreamed possible.  

Surgeries, Illness, Pain, Recovery-finally got the best of me and I shut down, having no desire to leave our home-instead choosing to sit in my chair and allow Pain to envelope all of me.  These were some of my darkest days-I didn't care to explain my "situation", made more difficult when people would see me at  Pain Clinic and comment "Well you can walk around-why are you here?"  

I wanted to scream "I'm here because I am in Agonizing Pain-just like You" but chose to remain silent, which continued giving Pain the Upper Hand in my Life.  Chronic Pain carries a darkness with it-once its a part of your life-you are facing the biggest Wall of your Life, and it  finally took me to my knees in desperate Prayer!  That was my moment of Realization-there was No way I could fight this Monster alone, and knew I needed God's Help in every way possible.  

Its taken many years, tons of ups and downs, but I have finally chosen a New Word to Describe my Pain:
Continuous ~~~~

 Pain seems to be around me in a Continuous taunting manner, pushing me back and forth as it rages on,  I struggle to keep rising up for battle, each time the "Pain Bell Rings" alerting me to crawl back into the Ring-I am reminded of the Continuous nature of my Pain.  

There are tons of words to use in describing Chronic Pain-Burning, Aching, Constant throbbing, Dead Numb Feeling, Tingling Sensation, Miserable Pain, Rotten Pain, God-awful Pain!   I could go on for a long time but figure these are plenty-I don't like giving anything to Pain! 

Instead I choose words like Hope, Faith, Courage and tons of Prayer!  These are my words I use when walking the floor at night, knowing its just me, Pain and God!    
His amazing Grace has brought me this far-helped me to find inner courage to rise up and Fight back against Pain, so I will not lose all of Me to this rotten thing I call Chronic Pain.

Its my prayer that something I write can be of Hope to you-as Pain rages against you, please know
 God is with you-every second.

God bless you and keep you in His loving Embrace.
martha 


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