"Martha-on a Rough Day"
I decided to be brave and put Pain out there for all to see-but trust me, this photo is not a "keeper."
As Women, we all have some vanity, wanting to show our best Face, but I battle around the Pain before giving any thought to makeup, hair-anything. This photo was taken by my dear husband as he caught me sitting at his computer, as I turned around to the sound of his familiar footsteps and CLICK-he had me in the Camera Lens! I fussed at him to throw the photo away, yet knew he would hold onto it-after all, it speaks for itself, no matter how much I might wish to deny the visible signs of Pain on my Face-this is Me, on a very Tough day of Fighting with Pain.
As I sat waiting to see my Pain Doctor yesterday, it felt like dozens of these "photos" were filling the room up with people from all walks of life who have been hit with Chronic Pain. I force my eyes to circle the room, and see amazing signs of Courage, Strength, Determination, tremendous Faith in every person there.
My eyes fell upon a young woman, probably in her late 20's and something pushed me to speak with her. The youth in this woman moved me, I imagined the Joy she should be feeling, yet realizing her life is entwined with Pain. We started talking about news, weather, and spoke of the long wait to see our Doctor but agreeing we were blessed to have found her!
I asked, "So is your back hurt?" We always think its the back, but I was in for a stunning shock
as she said "No, I have been in Pain all my life!"
My eyes fell to the floor- my heart ached for her-someone this young-living with Chronic Pain since she was born! She spoke of being born with a condition in which all the connective tissue in her muscles is restricted-causing severe Pain as bones grow, and how long it took for her to finally
reach a Doctor willing to listen, learn and offer real help!
"I am sorry you have to suffer like this" my words felt hollow as all eyes were on us, as I heard the question "So what happened to you?" All I could think was, "go ahead Martha-you know how its going to sound, but tell her" as it felt everyone in the room was patiently waiting to hear what My story held-"oh well, I climbed up a Tree and Fell Out!"
It never fails to be hit with the question "What in the world would make you climb up a Tree?" Yes-I ask myself the same question and the answer lands with a Thud in my heart as I go back to that One day-when everything changed. I quickly explained the damage to my Sciatic Nerve and Scar Tissue trapping it-as she offered the same words back "I sure am sorry" when her name was called and she eagerly headed toward the doors. We offered to Pray for each other-and I knew Prayer was flying around that room, touching each person.
Yes I wish my Face did not show the obvious Signs of Pain-but this is me, as my dear husband says
"With Martha-what you see is what you Get!"
Pain is not pretty.
I ask God to help all who must face Chronic Pain, you are in my prayers.
martha
as she said "No, I have been in Pain all my life!"
My eyes fell to the floor- my heart ached for her-someone this young-living with Chronic Pain since she was born! She spoke of being born with a condition in which all the connective tissue in her muscles is restricted-causing severe Pain as bones grow, and how long it took for her to finally
reach a Doctor willing to listen, learn and offer real help!
"I am sorry you have to suffer like this" my words felt hollow as all eyes were on us, as I heard the question "So what happened to you?" All I could think was, "go ahead Martha-you know how its going to sound, but tell her" as it felt everyone in the room was patiently waiting to hear what My story held-"oh well, I climbed up a Tree and Fell Out!"
It never fails to be hit with the question "What in the world would make you climb up a Tree?" Yes-I ask myself the same question and the answer lands with a Thud in my heart as I go back to that One day-when everything changed. I quickly explained the damage to my Sciatic Nerve and Scar Tissue trapping it-as she offered the same words back "I sure am sorry" when her name was called and she eagerly headed toward the doors. We offered to Pray for each other-and I knew Prayer was flying around that room, touching each person.
Yes I wish my Face did not show the obvious Signs of Pain-but this is me, as my dear husband says
"With Martha-what you see is what you Get!"
Pain is not pretty.
I ask God to help all who must face Chronic Pain, you are in my prayers.
martha
Martha, how blessed those who wait in the same waiting room as you...a prayer warrior. I am sure that young women was blessed to that you would ask her about her pain. It's so good to talk to someone who understands, it's like it validates our own pain.
ReplyDeleteNow we can see where you write your post and honestly you look pretty good even with your pain face on. Praise God you can set up. Blessings my friend.
Betty-
DeleteThank you for the "compliment" as to my looks-bless your heart! I loved your description "with my Pain Face On"-how you can see things in me that I can't begin to see!
Without doubt-speaking with this young woman was a moment I will never forget! I believe it took real courage for her to explain the Pain she deals with-because its something you don't usually hear about. My husband had poked his head in, letting me know he would be in the lobby and while in this amazing conversation, I glanced up and said "Who the heck are you?" Then I laughed and said "Oh, thats my hubby of 37 years!" This young woman was watching me so closely and said "I bet you are FUN to be around."
Oh Betty-for a brief few seconds, my heart really ached. I wanted to tell this young woman- "I am not always FUN" but something told me "martha-she paid you a compliment, take it and be grateful" and so I did.
The Lessons I learn each time I enter my Doctor's office or see her at the Hospital, well all I can say is God shows me so many Face of Pain that will remain in my heart forever!
You touch me deeply with your words of praise.
God bless you dear lady!! I needed this today! martha
Beautiful, Martha, I know you look at that photo as the Pain Face. And i know it is.
ReplyDeleteHowever, what I see is a compassionate heart that outshines any facial "oldness" or "tiredness" that pain produces. For who you are is what is on the INSIDE of you, not your physical body. One day you will leave this miserable "suit" behind. The real you, will live forever, painfree.
I know you know all that. Please remember on a bad day, that God looks at your heart, not your outward appearances. Your heart is compassionate, loving, and giving - and that is how we in your Circle know you - by your heart. And we love you for it. Good days or bad. And all the in between days.
Gosh, I look like that on a good day! LOL...
Well Diane-
DeleteYour words do Not fall on deaf ears-I am touched by the kindness you express toward me. It is a true blessing to know there are women out there-who I know only by first names, that care enough to pray for my well-being. God helps me to see this.
I try hard to have a loving heart-seeing this young woman in Pain and listening to her story-oh my God, how it moved my heart. These are "God moments" for me and are precious.
Bless you for the words and the Prayers.
martha
I echo what Betty said about you. That in the face of pain, your heart goes out to all those who are in your pain area. Imagining your own, you can identify with everyone all around the Painful World... and you intercede for them, sometimes even forgetting your own.
ReplyDeleteThank for letting us see your office, where you type your posts.
The young girl you talked to grew up with pain. How sad that is yet she had been strong. I pray too that she gets the help she and you and the others are seeking from this doctor.
And that is what I am talking about.... you have compassion to every person next to you and all the others including us. And I thank you for your prayers for me too, my sister.
Lolita-
DeleteAgain-you say the perfect words-filled with understanding and God's love.
When I see others in Pain, its like looking in a mirror-I see myself in their faces, lined with years of Chronic Pain-I wish there was something I could do to take away their suffering and then realize, This is a Path we are on-God knows each one of us and HE will never leave our sides.
All of you women do so much for me-kind words, loving prayers, ((( ))) hugs-lifts my heart at the lowest moments and gives me Hope, Faith and Love! What better gift could there be?
Bless you my dear friend-bless all the COF sisters in spirit!
I am humbled to know each one of you.
martha