Its never dull when I visit my Pain Management Doctor's Office-I sit in the lobby as the office fills quickly with people hurting, Pain showing on their faces.
I spread my Embroidery work out as I sit in a large comfortable chair, watching all who enter those doors, looking for magical relief of their Misery.
"The Parade of Pain Patients" begins-One man enters the doors, his back is wrapped in a large supportive brace (probably had back surgery), then stops to remove it. Something tells me he wants the doctor to see all the progress he has made since Surgery (secretly hoping he is given permission to do away with the Brace)-his facial expression says so much!
A Woman is next in line through the doors, but her walk is slow-with a noticeable limp (I feel like the Doctor as my mind works to decipher her condition, might be a disc issue in her back) she is in the doors and out, letting her husband know today will be a long wait.
A Elderly Woman enters the doors being held open by her son-she has the familiar cane as a support to keep a fall from occurring. Her face is strained (without a doubt, its a bad day with Pain) and yet she walks with a air of determination-wanting to be seen as a Person who can still function, despite the Pain.
I notice as each person walks by me, a quick glance comes my way (we seem to always be looking for those obvious Pain Signs) but on they go and I want to shout- "Wait, the only reason you can't see My Pain is because its all wrapped around my Sciatic Nerve!" My voice stays silent, as I keep my head low-suddenly I am hit with Pain and all I can do is squirm back and forth in my chair! At that moment, all I want to do is run through the Waiting Room, pushing everyone aside as I beg for my Doctor's attention-
but I am no different, I must sit with my Pain beside me and wait my turn.
This is my reminder-I can choose to sit outside in the Lobby, doing "busy work" with my hands-keeping a distance away from the other patients, but I am still so very close to them. But suddenly I recall all the faces that passed by me, then adding mine to the mix and I am filled with a mixture of Pride and Joy. None of us crawled in here today, we each walked with rock-solid determination-keeping hid the darkest corners of our Pain!
We are united by our Pain, it changes our lives in so many ways, and yet gives us a deeper compassion for each other. Its a safe bet to say we are here for the same reason
~~
Any relief possible from the Pain is our Plea.
I will always be praying for you, please keep me in your Prayers~~~~
martha
"The Parade of Pain Patients" begins-One man enters the doors, his back is wrapped in a large supportive brace (probably had back surgery), then stops to remove it. Something tells me he wants the doctor to see all the progress he has made since Surgery (secretly hoping he is given permission to do away with the Brace)-his facial expression says so much!
A Woman is next in line through the doors, but her walk is slow-with a noticeable limp (I feel like the Doctor as my mind works to decipher her condition, might be a disc issue in her back) she is in the doors and out, letting her husband know today will be a long wait.
A Elderly Woman enters the doors being held open by her son-she has the familiar cane as a support to keep a fall from occurring. Her face is strained (without a doubt, its a bad day with Pain) and yet she walks with a air of determination-wanting to be seen as a Person who can still function, despite the Pain.
I notice as each person walks by me, a quick glance comes my way (we seem to always be looking for those obvious Pain Signs) but on they go and I want to shout- "Wait, the only reason you can't see My Pain is because its all wrapped around my Sciatic Nerve!" My voice stays silent, as I keep my head low-suddenly I am hit with Pain and all I can do is squirm back and forth in my chair! At that moment, all I want to do is run through the Waiting Room, pushing everyone aside as I beg for my Doctor's attention-
but I am no different, I must sit with my Pain beside me and wait my turn.
This is my reminder-I can choose to sit outside in the Lobby, doing "busy work" with my hands-keeping a distance away from the other patients, but I am still so very close to them. But suddenly I recall all the faces that passed by me, then adding mine to the mix and I am filled with a mixture of Pride and Joy. None of us crawled in here today, we each walked with rock-solid determination-keeping hid the darkest corners of our Pain!
We are united by our Pain, it changes our lives in so many ways, and yet gives us a deeper compassion for each other. Its a safe bet to say we are here for the same reason
~~
Any relief possible from the Pain is our Plea.
I will always be praying for you, please keep me in your Prayers~~~~
martha
Thank you for your prayers, dear Martha. I know that above your own pain, you always have a compassion for all others in the area, and even to those whose pain are greater than physical-it is in the heart or in the soul.
ReplyDeleteI am always thinking of you, as God makes the sun shine faithfully everyday, as I take in fresh breath to my lungs. I have a mental picture of that aerial view of your farm home. Just yesterday, I played with google map and it also gives pictures of the street and the neighboring estates. It makes me closer to you.
I know the feeling of trying so hard to look normal despite some limp. I have those times and I think it is a normal reaction we have against feeling old or sickly. Being among the pain patients of your doctor makes you see all the faces and posture of Pain. Compassion and resonance binds such environment and deeply I know you wish everyone well-one who knows what real pain is.
I hope Matt's case is not the one that really need surgery. I know a little about those disc issues and I had a step-sister who had a slipped disc.
Blessings to you out there and my love for you both (Matt and You).
Dear Lolita-
DeleteI marvel as to how the Lord touches your heart and helps all of us see the real "Beauty" that is around us each day. As I sit here, typing away, the Sun is glowing-letting our part of the world know-
'Wake Up-Take a Deep Breath in and Treasure all I have Created!"
You Lift me up with your words--and honor me with your compliments!
My heart is not always as caring-on the bad Pain days, I feel miserable and its Hard to be nice, these are the times when Matt is right beside me and steps in to help when he sees me falter!
Bless you my dear Friend. You are truly one of God's Special Angels and I am forever blessed to have this time with you!
All my love, martha
pss="Matt's back does seem better!" good news..........
I love that you are thinking of others there too, Martha. I do that too whenever I am in a doctor's office, or therapy place, or getting treatments or tests... I always think, there's a reason I'm here in this moment, isn't there God? to lift up these others.... I heard a minister talking of someone healed of burning pain last night, and prayed that for you :)
ReplyDeletePam-
DeleteI believe if we just be ourselves-allowing our hearts to open and share with others-showing them kindness, well something tells me the Good Lord smiles with Heavenly Joy at these moments.
Thank you for the prayers. Healing comes to many people-I had my own small version-Sept 10, 2001-the doctors had implanted a device in my spinal column one month before and I noticed during that last week leading up to that awful day, I started feeling tremendous Pain and by the weekend, was miserable. Matt took me to the hospital that night, (a local hospital near us) and the doctor there played a part in "buying me some time" as he gave me a massive injection of Antibiotics. From that moment on-it was a race against time. By the time we got to my Doctor, I could barely move, and blood pressure was dropping way too fast.
Long story short-I had developed a massive Staph infection as my body was rejecting the implant! They operated long into the night and my doctor told matt later "martha had 12 hours left" as the infection was racing toward my brain. Eight days in the hospital, another lengthy surgery and years of recovery.
But my "Miracle" came without me knowing it for many years---the nurses gathered around me that day knew I was dancing the fine line between life and death- as I was rolled away to surgery, these amazing women stopped and formed a prayer circle near the surgery area. They prayed for God to be with me and bring me back.
Many years later I am walking into one of my Doctor's Outpatient Hospitals and this one Nurse sees me! She grabs me and hugs me as if I were a long lost relative! I hugged back and knew who she was. Then she stopped and shared the story of the nurses all praying for me-I recall her looking at me and saying "Martha-we really believed it would be the last time we saw you!"
Prayer is powerful and I am blessed with this miracle. I wokeup in my room on Sept 11, 2001 and saw people jumping out of buildings on tv. The nightmare of that day had arrived-I wondered "where was their miracle that day?"
So whatever is to happen with my Burning Pain-I will take it.
God has been so good to me, and all I really want to do now is grow really Old with my dear Husband and simply ENJOY life!
love, martha
sorry for the lengthy reply!
Thank you for sharing that beautiful story of the nurses prayer circle... I LOVE that! God moves powerfully in our prayers, I truly believe that. I pray that blessing on you in agreement with you now... to enjoying life! I love the way God says He wants us to have abundant life even now ... :)
DeleteThank you Pam!!
DeleteRecalling that long-ago time brought a lot of memories to the surface! We tend to forget those times in our life when an illness brought us so very close to the edge-I will be forever grateful for that amazing Circle of Nurses who looked to God and offered prayers for me!
It was a major blessing.
I agree with you also, God does WANT us to have abundant life-because it flies by so quickly! Guess I am determined to enjoy the moments-even with the pain.
thank you Pam. wise words.
martha
Oh Martha I love this post...love how you are so honest and open about your pain. Since Jan 2012 my husband has been experiencing chronic pain in his neck. He thought sure he would finally get over it on his own. Not this pain and after several doctor to rule out other things he is finally going for physcial therapy. On top of that he is struggling with his blood pressure being too low. He is totally wiped out and I can hardly stand to see my strong man down. I just keep thinking how frail this body is yet how much pain it can with stand. But constant pain gets the strongest down at times. What a valuable lesson pain has taught you...being aware of our own pain is easy but being aware of others is God sent. I will pray for you as I know you pray for me, and please pray for my husband that his blood pressure will even out. Blessings my friend.
ReplyDeleteBetty-
DeleteYou have been on my mind ever since the urgent prayer request! Can you take Ace to the ER and tell them "Now listen here damn doctors-I do NOT want this Man to leave me--So you get with it and find out what the HELL is wrong!!!"
Sorry-but I have been known to fight like a tiger when it comes to getting a doctor's attention. One thing I do is turn the Table on these doctors "So doc, have you ever had your "jewels" placed between two pieces of Plastic and then allowed a machine to SQUEEZE them to a flat Pancake SHAPE?" again=sorry for being so descriptive. One doctor kept telling me how a Bone Marrow test doesn't hurt-I looked at him and said "Well, have you EVER had it done on yourself?" He had not! I asked "So how in the Hell do you know if it does or does NOT hurt?" Betty he looked at me for the longest time and said in a humble voice "Nobody has ever made me think about this like you just did! I will never utter that statement again to a patient!"
Something is going on with Ace-you know it and yet I feel there is real HOPE!!!
If insurance or money is the issue-tell those Idiots---"Look I can always "Work" the street if necessary for money!" Right now I want my husband to get the best care possible!!!!!
IF you need me to raise hell on the phone with them, I will do it!!!
Matt says I am like "Shirley McClaine" in the movie Terms of Endearment-where her daughter is dying of cancer and has held on for her timed shot! This woman rages around the nurses desk, Screaming "GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOT!" A nurse jumps up and shirley calmly says Thank you!!!!
Hang in there ACE!!!! I am praying for you both Betty.
Yes I would agree with you that I am constantly learning about Pain and how greatly it impacts others...
Be strong Betty! I love you, martha