Did I really pay attention?

Last night my husband asked me to look at his Broken Thumb-all the Pins have been removed and he must wear a brace to hold the Thumb in place until September. I paused from watching mindless TV and looked at his thumb-thinking to myself "that is One Ugly Thumb" but  kept those words to myself.  Instead I offered words of praise, telling him it looked Great and turned my attention back to TV.

After 37 years of marriage, we have a comfortable "language" flowing between us-example being when I call him to my office-seeking his input on my Pain Blog, wanting to see if he likes something I wrote.  He will give it a quick glance, with a "Yep, looks good" then Waits in silence for me to speak-letting him know I agree or need to talk about something else.  Its simple-the man pays Close Attention to me, giving me tons of Love and a bunch of Respect!  How did I get so lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life?  All I know is I prayed very hard, many long years ago and without doubt, God heard my prayers and I met my dear Matt.

All I have to do is holler "Heh-Husband" and I hear him telling me "Yes I hear You, Hang on for a Second-Yep I am on the way, Yes Dear!"  Words of love, mixed in with a bit of frustration-simple way to put it, We call it our Marriage-as we both live with the Good and Bad times of life-when we lean on each other and lean very hard on God.

So why was this nagging question the first thing on my mind today- "Did I really pay Attention to my husband's Thumb last night?"  The answer was too clear for me-No, I glanced at it, made my brief comment and that was it!  Something tells me as I turned away, he was thinking "Geez, is that all I get?"  Shame hits me as I admit to myself "Yes, Husband-its all you got from me and I am Sorry!"

I am not a bad wife-but I am a wife who has been wrapped up tight with Chronic Pain for sixteen years and  sadly I forgot the most important person in my life, who just needed a little more time cast his way, letting him know his Thumb is beautiful, just the way it is now!  My heart aches as I realize my "Goof"  in paying needed attention to my Husband.  Its one mistake I will do my best to Not repeat again.

My determination to fight back against Pain is very strong, but my love for "Heh Husband" is bigger
than any Pain Battle-and one Banged Up Thumb sent me a Powerful message last Night!

God bless all the Fathers on this Special Weekend and we Thank you God for our Fathers who watch over us from Above~

Martha