Its been almost two months since we got the bright idea to "Conquer the Final Frontier" aka-our Front Yard, giving it a major facelift of sorts! We quickly purchased plants, mulch, etc, but Great aspirations fell apart fast when I heard "Heh Husband" screaming in Pain with a broken thumb- lets just say "The Rest is History!"
Chronic Pain has taught me Lesson after Lesson-some of them I learn, others get cast aside-with me forgetting how Pain loves to hang around, waiting to Sock it To Me. Pain is one huge Lesson all rolled into one, filled with Patience, Frustration, Anger, Heart break, Defeat, Acceptance and Humor!
Martha is without question, one stubborn Texas Woman who doesn't like to quit- so I quietly ordered Four new Plants from a friend and decided I could easily plant these-no help needed. We visited the friends (my partners in Plant Purchasing Crime) and as we are leaving, Heh Husband sees me walking out with Plants in hand, Chin raised High in the air, a look of Confidence oozing from me as I said "Don't Worry, I have this under control!"
I figured it wouldn't hurt the plants to "wait" a few days-with me resting, hoping Energy would show up somewhere. For most people, its pretty easy to bend down toward the ground, dig up dirt, carefully set the New Plant in the ground, cover it up nicely with fresh soil, job done! But for Martha- lets just say its a different story- any work has to be Fast-as Pain is sitting on Idle, waiting to Remind Me-its the Boss. That first plant seemed easy-as I attempted to plant while bending over, quickly understanding my old body would have to kneel down on the ground for these Four Plants. I looked around me-seriously-to see if anybody was nearby, maybe parked in the church parking lot (we live behind the church) giving everyone a clear view of Martha's Manual Labor Attempts!
Once I got down, Pain showed up-keeping me on the ground as I managed a slow crawl toward each plant. One might ask " Martha-did you enjoy this work?" Lets just put it this way, as I reached the last Plant-a mental image formed, as I felt like Scarlet O'Hara in "Gone with the Wind" me gripping a planting tool, looking up, screaming "As God is my Witness, I shall Never, Ever Buy another Plant again!"
The final insult faced me-I still had to get my body up from the ground, and the best way I could describe it-well imagine a newborn colt struggling to find its legs, wanting to take those first steps. I planted one leg, using the Gardening Tool as my "crutch" to steady me and the only body part rising was my butt-sticking out as shaking legs took me down! Suddenly I saw the porch railing, grabbed it-crawled up the railing, as I did a poor imitation of Spider Man. My old body slumped into the Porch Chair, sweat pouring off me, as I
turn to see dear Husband standing against the fence, having watched Martha in action.
The question of "Wonder if Anybody was Watching" was answered. My Joy for this day-The Only person watching me was Heh Husband!
God bless all who battle Pain.
Martha
I can't keep up with how often you are blogging these days! Go, Martha! And God bless HH!
ReplyDeleteDiane-
DeleteWell as to my frequent blogging-I want to share my good days and bad ones with anyone who might drop in to read my blog. Putting these last Four Plants in the ground-Big, Big Mistake! But I am human, still have the "Want to" inside me, but keep having to face the Truth of "Can't Do that"-its all a part of living with Chronic Pain.
Wonder how I would have looked in a Hoop Skirt, screaming toward the sky-with a lone garden tool in my hand???
I think the good Lord had HH come outside-just in case I didn't manage to get back up! NO MORE PLANTS!!!
Thank you for the pat on the back! A door of sorts has opened up and I am willingly sharing my Pain Journey.
Bless you for reading and for caring. Especially for HH!!
Martha
You are one determined woman Martha. Even seen a movie called..."True Women", it could have been made about you...they went by wagon, by foot to Texas...Angelia Jolin played in it, can't remember the others but check it out...they were brave deternimed women. It based on true stories. I ordered it from Amazon.com and we ladies in Papua New Guinea would watch it when ever we had a ladies night, always showed it to the new ones. I pray God double your pleasure in your flowers Martha. Blessings
ReplyDeleteHi Betty!
DeleteWell you got me-Yes I am very determined and seems like I just can't let these FLOWERS go!!! I can see our front yard from my office window and find myself thinking- "Now I could probably put one or two more in here! Oh what about starting another FLower bed over there?"
Thats when I think-"Martha, Martha, Martha!!" I have seen the movie you speak of and its a powerful one! Hopefully i will let go and the desire to PLANT and simply ENJOY the Beauty of our work!!!
Hope all is good with you! I think about you each day!!
God bless you dear Betty-I sense a strong vein of Determination in you too!
Martha
Yes a large vein which is why I Cor 2:2 I am determined to know other then Jesus Christ and Him cruified, became my life verse.
DeleteI will have to send you a picture of my little condo patio and the few flowers I planted. I had to do them in pots as the built in planter is full of roots from previous plants and now exsisting scrubs. I love flowers...love to garden a little, love how it usually makes me feel healthy, makes the place where ever I have lived feel like mine. God always teaches me so much as I plant and watch for the beauty to unfold.
Wondering if you ever was able to get on fb...
Betty-
DeleteOMG- these things we share keeps amazing me!! My dear little Granny had the best GREEN THUMB in the world. Anything she planted, grew and her porch was covered with such beauty. This is where I would sit with her and she taught me how to do Cross-stitch Embroidery-something I had forgotten about and found this last year!! It brings me great joy....
FB-I got on it-but am so lost.... Its not what I was hoping for, but I think my understanding of it is what stands in the way. I have a dear friend here who can help me and hopefully I can be move Visible!!!
God Bless You.
martha
Forgive me if I am rolling with laughter through this, dear daring Texan friend!
ReplyDeleteWhy, you have been Spider Man-ning, and have learned to stand up like a newborn colt.... all wobbly and finding those promised legs were where they should be.
Is this a new venture?
Lolita-
DeleteWell if it is a new venture-lets just say its one that will NOT last very long!!! If ONLY you had seen my attempts at getting up from the ground!! It was ONE FOR THE BOOKS!!
Spider Man, Newborn Colt, Woman who climbed Tree-is there no limit to my wild ideas!
God bless you dear. Martha
Well, if you can't say you are brave or courageous, I wouldn't know what I am, if I were in your shoes.
DeleteI would be the willing seat enthusiast, just sticking it out, like a princess, with all the ladys-in-waiting prompted with all my bidding. You are so golly industrious, my dear. I could owe it to your Grands and your parents who showed you the ways of farm management. I think, nothing could keep you, pain and all.
or maybe, I could be like you too, because your beautiful land calls you so to be nurtured and cherished, so much like a baby in the arms of a loving mom.
Well, I pray that you will get what your heart desires...... and I ask God to bless you with those moments and for strength to surmount those pain days.
I wish you to be restored fully, Martha. Oh, how I wish to see you riding those horses around your ground.
BTW, it is really a picture..... and it is well-manicured. I admire how you keep your farm so well tended.
Lolita-
DeleteOh my-as always you just flow with loving words and cover so much territory! I could NEVER see you as a Willing Seat Enthusiast-never!!
Yes I very determined-maybe part of that is knowing the importance of staying busy-keeping my mind occupied so I can move away from the Pain having all of my attention.
Lolita-I look back now and see many lessons taught to me as a child, learning how to love the land, seeing the importance of caring for it-actually living off the land as we always had a huge garden each spring.
Sitting beside my Dear Granny-struggling to learn Embroidery, getting frustrated, wanting to quit and yet she saw "Stitches" in me that were waiting to come out and never gave up on me learning how to do it. Mine is basic-hers was breath-taking!
But i loved her advice-"Now don't worry about the back looking messy-nobody ever sees that anyway!!" I have lots of messes, but each stitch i make, its like she is still looking over my shoulder and cheering me on..
Your comment-"I pray you get what your heart desires"--I have it my friend, it comes in names like Betty, Pam, Judi, Diane, Lolita, Veronica, Heh Husband, my dear friends here. I think my cup runneth over....
Living with Pain-well that one is probably here to stay. As each day goes by, I hear of others suffering-I know-with HIS graces, I can keep going.
Our farm-Oh my goodness-we have worked so hard to bring the true beauty of it out!! Matt does the work, I try to help when I can, and lately, we have had to reach out for help.
We are very blessed. I am blessed to know Lolita!!!!!
Love, Martha
You had me laughing with that reference to gone with the wind. I could just see you! I think I have an inkling, because ever since I broke my leg I have a hard time getting up off the ground if I let myself get all the way down... sort of have to roll, and grab something, and hoist. Even getting out of a chair, sometimes I have to rock back and forth and push up with my arms. Seems to have done something to the muscles in my legs or something. But I can't complain... there was a time there in recuperating when i wondered if I could ever really walk again. Once a year ago, I was playing with my friend's three year old son as he ran around the yard pretending to shoot us. Every time he did, someone would fall and then say they couldn't get up until he hugged and kissed them. So he would...so cute, so serious. Well, he wanted me to get down on the ground too... ha. I sort of knelt on one knee and he kept eyeing me like don't you get it, Pam? If I didn't keep that knee up, I wasn't sure how I'd get back up... My funny picture for the day, I guess... :)
ReplyDeleteMay you have many beautiful blooms for all your effort!
Pam-
DeleteI could picture you finally giving in, going all the way down to the ground, struggling to get up, then just laying there. The little boy comes up, looking down-to hear you say "Heh, Did you use some Special "Pam can't Get Up Bullets?"
You got my picture very clear-and although I am sorry you have to struggle on getting up, this is another example where I am sitting here, thinking "Geez, I am not the only person who struggles with this mess!" Mission accomplished? Perhaps, but more to the point-two women sharing their physical struggles, and doing it with some humor!!! I love it!!
Bless you. Martha
I am there too, Pam and Martha. I hate getting down on my knees to locate something I dropped which decided to roll under seats, under anything because that would need all fours... to retrieve them.
DeleteWhen I'm down-gutter level on all fours, I need a hoist and I have to call on Mike or my son Nico, if I am not near any sturdy stool or counter. "Hahhh, sigh.... those mine knees are wobbly like the calf at Martha's farm!" Why, should I need to take a walking stick to do those?
I remember too, when I was training to walk again after the stroke. I wanted to sleep on a double deck bed because I needed to hoist myself up to arise. Imagine the sturdy bar under beneath the upper deck... it served the purpose. I didn't have to call out for help.
All we of the stiff bodies, I cheer us all.... go go go girls!
Lolita-
DeleteWow-to hear your story of recovery from a stroke-I am amazed at your strength and courage. Way to go my friend, you give me inspiration to keep going, and if I do have to find my way down to the ground-well sooner or later, I will manage to find my way back to a standing position, but lets be honest-IT will NOT be a PRETTY
PICTURE!!!
Bless you my dear friend. I love your words. Martha
Cute image, Martha! You make me smile.
ReplyDeleteThank you Pam!
DeleteA Smile-something I continue working on-as it seems to be a part of me that PAIN is determined to take away! I can't let that happen-after all, A SMILE-well for me its like a Window for people to look through and see the True Heart of a person.......
Thank you for giving me the word SMILE-a needed reminder for these tough days....
bless you. Martha
One of my favorite songs is Charlie Chaplin's "Smile, though your heart is aching..." God's smile is a banner over you, my friend, and you (as all of us) can always rest under it.
ReplyDeletePam-
DeleteI love those words and have heard them in Songs-each time they melt my heart!!
The past two days-Boy did i need HIS Smile!!! But I woke this morning to a early phone call, as a dear friend told me "Quick, look out your Window-Tell me what you see!"
A beautiful Hot Air Balloon was gently floating right over our place-almost felt like I could reach out and Touch it!! That put a Huge Smile on my face!!!
Thank you Pam. I needed the reminder...
Martha
Oh, Martha, I hope you will forgive me that I read your posts looking for the humor and I'm NEVER disappointed! I love you so much! I LOVE these parts:
ReplyDelete"my partners in Plant Purchasing Crime"
"Heh Husband"
"Plants in hand, Chin raised High in the air, a look of Confidence oozing from me as I said "Don't Worry, I have this under control!"
"I felt like Scarlet O'Hara in "Gone with the Wind" me gripping a planting tool, looking up, screaming "As God is my Witness, I shall Never, Ever Buy another Plant again!"
"I did a poor imitation of Spider Man."
The part of Heh Husband watching at the end was so touching though! Beautiful, Martha! You're amazing!
Veronica-
DeleteWell I don't know about being amazing-but Hard-headed woman-yep, thats me!!!
It hit me when I wrote about "Heh Husband" watching me-I never saw him till that last few seconds, as I found my way to the porch. I think he was there for two reasons-make sure he didn't find me laying FACE DOWN among my beautiful plants- or helping me get my BUTT out of the air-just in case somebody WAS watching!!!
What a show it was!!! We went for a drive today and YES-we started talking about PLANTS!!! Guess who my NEW partner in Plant Crime is---you got it---HEH HUSBAND!!!!!
Let me be honest-the man never stood a chance!!! He loves ME!!!
Love you dear gal... I have to do some laughing!!!
Martha