After so many years of battling Pain, day in, day out-Words come flying out my mouth, with many of them needing to stay Hid, as I am not proud of them, and they have come on the worst days of Pain! I sat down and took all my Blogging Posts-working with the Titles to make a list of Pain Words/Descriptions-hoping to see how they all fit together. Something tells me as I begin to list them, many of the words will catch your eye, reminding you who suffer with Pain that words of this nature have also been with you! Its not pretty, flattering, delightful to read-but instead are the Cold Words of Pain-yet along the way a few hopeful Words snuck in and the blending is interesting to say the least! Here we go:
Why me Lord? Pain is my Constant Companion, Hating Pain, Never having a break from Pain, Trying to Hold On, Pain is taking too much from Me, Searching for Relief, Why must I battle with Insurance People? Fighting to find some Relief, Pain tearing my Emotions apart, Why does Pain have to be such a Drag? Walking is no longer an easy thing to do, Forcing myself to Smile around others, Very little Sleep, but lots of Pain!
As I kept reading titles, something was happening-a gradual Change in the words:
Praying without Ceasing, Accepting my Limitations, Finding my Inner Reserve, Looking beyond Pain to see It in Others, Life is not Impossible, Educating myself about Pain, Rising Above Pain, I am Still Normal-despite Pain, Its okay to Smile Again, Stopping the desire to Scream-Running to Prayer instead, Having a Moment of Real Joy, Leaning on Stamina, Being thankful for my ROCK-the one I call "Heh, Husband!" Looking upward to our Heavenly Father-knowing I am never alone!
Finding moments of Laughter, The Fight with Pain is Not Impossible!
Its easier to see how I have grown through the years, especially when I found the Courage to Blog, reaching out to others and learning I am not the only person who suffers with Pain-the list is too long for counting, but believe me, there are countless "Pain Faces" we never see or think about. PRAYER is my major battle Tool and I Pray each day for all as they journey through the dark Valley of Chronic Pain.
Sixteen years of Pain-its just a number-but the Words helped me find my motto "Pain Won't Beat Me"
I am not alone in this fight, God walks quietly beside me, helping to lift me up when I fall. This blessing-I count it as the Best one! Just know, even when the Pain seems to have over-loaded your body, you are not alone-this Gal from Texas is always praying for you!
God bless all who must walk this Painful Journey. Martha
It's good to evaluate our words, a good ruler to measuse how much we have or have not grown. Since our kids knows us best I love to ask them, how are we doing?
ReplyDeleteNo my friend, you are not alone...good post.
Betty-
DeleteThis post helped me to see how much Pain has changed my phrasing of it! My dear Matt is the one to tell me how my progress is coming along-and he is always honest and caring.
Thanks for letting me know I am not alone-it means so much to me. We should be here for each other-plain and simple. Helping each other through the good and bad times.
God bless my dear friend. Martha
My thoughts are with you, dear Martha!
ReplyDeleteVeronica-
DeleteWhat more could one ask for-caring thoughts coming from such an amazing Woman-these words are such a treasure to me!
God bless you, keep that loving spirit of yours going!
Martha
I am new to this site and would like to say that I also suffer from Chronic Pain and from a severe closed brain injury which occured from being rear ended by an 18 wheeler who was going approx. 55 MPH and struck me while I was stopped at a red light. I had many injuries, and it is by Gods will that I am still here. My story is a long one and I don't think anyone would care to hear it. I just wanted to ask that someone please pray for me. I live alone now, my husband of 17+ years left me and divorced me after taking what money I got from the accident and moved in with a 16 year old boy. I am 51 years old and have 2 Children whom I love with all of my heart. I try my best to be close to them but they have a hard time understanding me due to the brain injury, it brings out alot of things that well, let me say are not normal. I do not have any and I do mean any friends at all. It's not because I am a bad person, I try to help all of those who come to me and ask. I've been told that I am too nice and this lets people take advantage of me so I have shut out everyone and I trust no one, But the Lord. I am so lonely and just wish that this accident would of never happened, who wouldn't. I sit and wonder what would my life have ended up being like? But I pray constantly, not just for myself and to have a relationship(a close friend), pain relief, strength, etc. but I pray for someone to trust and become close to. I also before praying for myself pray for everyone elses problems, I cannot put myself first. I don't know what I am trying to even accomplish here by writing all of this. But I would just ask that anyone who reads this please pray for me for my lonelyness, the severe physical and physilocical pain I deal with 24/7, that my pain management doctor does not give up on me (I have been with him for 15+ years), and that I would find just one person who understands me and could love, well who could even like me for who I am now. I know that everything happens for a reason and I am still trying to find the answer to that and I pray for that also. Maybe if others would pray for me also some of the things I am seeking will come about. I am tring not to but I am about to give up.Only God keeps me here. I love all people and I will also pray for you and your pain. Sincerely Cindy
ReplyDeleteCindy-
DeleteYou just found a Friend! I am sorry you have so much PAIN! But your Love for God is HUGE-and your COURAGE-well it helped you to write these words!
Nobody understands a Brain Injury-NOBODY! They don't get it-because they haven't LIVED it!
Thank God you have a Loyal Pain Management Doctor-They are like a LIFE LINE for us!
Nobody understands the PAIN of a Marriage breaking up-NOBODY! Only those who have LIVED it know the HURT and HEARTBREAK..
Why do BAD things happen to GOOD people? I don't know Cindy-I just don't know, but GOD wants you here-Look at all you have come through!!
I promise to Pray for you! Every single Day! I want to give you a verse of Scripture I keep posted on my Home Blog Page:
"Be Gracious to me Lord, For I am in Distress!" Psalm 31:10
I hope it helps some.
I want to share a few words that I cling to-when the days are so dark and Life seems almost Too hard:
"I was Here Before PAIN Showed Up in my Life!" You were too!
Yep-that dang PAIN changes us-We are never the same. But there is always HOPE!
I like Cindy! Plain and Simple! Please keep dropping in and here is my email if you want to drop a line:
pwbmblog@gmail. com
There are many other women who follow my Blog-I would like to ask them to Pray for You also! I hope that is okay with you-if its not, please let me know.
Some words you said at the end of your story are MAJOR:
"GOD KEEPS ME HERE!" You are worthy of Love Cindy! Thank you for saying prayers for Me! I can use them!
God bless you! Hold on tight to HIS LOVING HAND!!
Martha